[roscoestring]

A group of teens were learning their instruments and decided to start a band. John offered up his house as a practice space. So they practiced every day and into the nights. Sometimes until the wee hours of the morning. Not only was there no improvement, but they all kept getting louder and louder which really irritated the residents of the neighboring retirement home. Finally at his wits end, old Mr. Lumpkins called 911 and asked the dispatcher if she could send someone out to have the young people to tone down their loud music. Because of the large numbers of calls that were being responded to by the sheriff's department, the dispatcher told old Mr. Lumpkins that there was no one available to respond to the loud music call. Mr. Lumpkins thanked her and hung up the phone. He waited about 5 minutes and called 911 back and got the same dispatcher. Mam, he said, I called a few minutes ago about the loud music next door to the retirement center. Please disregard that call as I have gone over and shot all of the young lads dead. He hung up the phone. Within 2 minutes there were 10 patrol cars, a SWAT team, medical response teams, fire department, coroner, ministers, and 3 television stations on the scene. They swarmed John's house and the music stopped immediately. The officer in charge went to the retirement center, found Mr. Lumpkins and said, "I thought you told the 911 dispatcher that you had shot and killed the young kids next door." Mr. Lumpkins responded, "I thought she told me that there was no one available".

[Skifree0813]

Originally Posted by scared2mosh

How do you know it's a tenor knocking on the front door?
They don't have the key and they don't know when to come in.

Corrected

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: “Get out now! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: “You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development.” This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest — and closes the bar.

This is phenomenal.

[WARRIOR2]

Originally Posted by dogfood

why do they call it rap music???

the letter C fell off at the printers

BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!

[redbaron]

just so this wasn't a totally cheap bump...

Here's one for seandot:

what's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?









you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!


How can you tell who out of the group of people on your porch is the drummer?








obviously, he's the one with the domino's hat!



How many lead vocalists does it take to change a lightbulb?









just one, he holds it in place and the whole world revolves around him.