[earlessdog]

My English teacher gave this to all of us in class the other day. I kind of got a kick out of it, though it seems very cocky. What do you think of it? Anything to add? I changed some words to make it more appropriate.

2. Smarties
3. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
4. The size of our football fields and on less down
5. Hockey is Canadian
6. Lacrosse is Canadian
7. Baseball is Canadian
8. Basketball is Canadian
9. Apple pie is Canadian
10. Mr. Dress up kicks Mr. Rogers butt
11. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts butt
12. In the war of 1812, started by U.S.A, Canadians pushed back the Americans to their ‘white house’. Then we burned it . . . and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied, Go figure.
13. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany
14. We have the largest English population that never surrendered or withdrew from any war to anyone anywhere EVER
15. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour
16. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing ... but showed up in time to get cought
17. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on
18. The Hudson’s Bay company once owned over 10% of the Earth’s surface and it is still around as the worlds oldest company
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a Buffalo
20. We don’t marry our kin-folk
21. We invented Ski-Doos, Jet Skies, Velcro, Zippers, Insulen, Penicillin, Zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives every year
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues on something metal and lived to tell about it
23. A Canadian invented Superman
24. Our beer kicks butt
25. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on . . .

[Wailing Wombat]

Nice.

[Cam42]

Go Canada!!

[jesus_chic]

Originally Posted by earlessdog

My English teacher gave this to all of us in class the other day. I kind of got a kick out of it, though it seems very cocky. What do you think of it? Anything to add? I changed some words to make it more appropriate.

2. Smarties
3. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
4. The size of our football fields and on less down
5. Hockey is Canadian
6. Lacrosse is Canadian
7. Baseball is Canadian
8. Basketball is Canadian
9. Apple pie is Canadian
10. Mr. Dress up kicks Mr. Rogers butt
11. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts butt
12. In the war of 1812, started by U.S.A, Canadians pushed back the Americans to their ‘white house’. Then we burned it . . . and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied, Go figure.
13. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany
14. We have the largest English population that never surrendered or withdrew from any war to anyone anywhere EVER
15. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour
16. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing ... but showed up in time to get cought
17. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on
18. The Hudson’s Bay company once owned over 10% of the Earth’s surface and it is still around as the worlds oldest company
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a Buffalo
20. We don’t marry our kin-folk
21. We invented Ski-Doos, Jet Skies, Velcro, Zippers, Insulen, Penicillin, Zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives every year
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues on something metal and lived to tell about it
23. A Canadian invented Superman
24. Our beer kicks butt
25. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on . . .

hahaha. i nvr thought about all that. I have a t-shirt that says the best girls are from canada. YES my whole family especially my grandpa and dad would deff. agree that tim hortans kicks duncan donuts's butt!!

[Micahb]

Originally Posted by earlessdog

11. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts butt
12. In the war of 1812, started by U.S.A, Canadians pushed back the Americans to their ‘white house’. Then we burned it . . . and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied, Go figure.
13. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany
17. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on

These are all awesome and fantastic.

I do disagree with the Mr. Rogers/Mr. Dressup thing, tho.
Yes, as a show Mr. Dressup pwns.
But Mr. Rodgers as a person is top notch. No beating him.

I would like to add:

26) Canadian whiskey is...well, it's just fantastic.
27) We have places where at certain times of the year -15 is t-shirt weather (I'm looking at you, Winnipeg)
28) We have the Slurpee capital of the world (again, Winnipeg)
29) "Eh" is just a fantastic word that seems to baffle the rest of the world...any time an american tries to make fun of me for the use of "eh" they totally use it in the wrong context then pee themselves laughing.
30) Nine words: Rickey, Julien, Bubbles, J-Rock, Randy, Lahey, Corey, Trevor, Ray.

[jesus_chic]

i must say slurpee's are absolutly FANTABULISTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are yummy.
I think myr. dressup was soo cool. nvm not was IS.
I watched mr. dress up so much when i was lil.

[Meningitiphobic]

i think just number 2 is enough reasons =D

[athanatos]

1. They rock at counting.

[mulletman]

Your beer is weak. That is all.

[jesus_chic]

Ottawa is sooo cool!!
The parlament buildings are so big and old and they are soo cool to look at!!!!
but it's cold. (down side)

[normajean777]

Not really impressed.... I'm an Albertan.... I just don't like Canada, and these seem reaching.

[earlessdog]

I'm Canadian, and anti-patriotic and I despise any bit of Nationalism that a person has. But I am glad to be Canadian rather than American, personally.

The list is a little reached at points, but I thought it still had some good points, for a laugh anyway.

But some of the serious ones are rather impressive actually, I mean what would the states do without baseball and basketball?

[Chris]

Originally Posted by earlessdog

I'm Canadian, and anti-patriotic and I despise any bit of Nationalism that a person has. But I am glad to be Canadian rather than American, personally.

The list is a little reached at points, but I thought it still had some good points, for a laugh anyway.

But some of the serious ones are rather impressive actually, I mean what would the states do without baseball and basketball?

Hey, I used to live in Beachville which was the site of the first recorded baseball game in history.

And in response to your question, drink funny tasting water Bud Lite and watch Football through one half of the year and Oprah/Maury the other half

[earlessdog]

Originally Posted by Chris

And in response to your question, drink funny tasting water Bud Lite and watch Football through one half of the year and Oprah/Maury the other half

Fair enough, fair enough.

[tropicana]

I think this list is silly, so get ready for my point-by point criticism.

1.

There is no point 1. Does that mean that there's nothing good about Canada? That is the first strike against this list.

2. Smarties
3. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

Nobody lives in a country just for the candy. Besides, why does this deserve two points? Did Nestle sponsor this list?

4. The size of our football fields and on less down

But it's still... football.

5. Hockey is Canadian
6. Lacrosse is Canadian
7. Baseball is Canadian
8. Basketball is Canadian
9. Apple pie is Canadian

These are all things. Things cannot have citizenship, and therefore cannot be Canadian.
Besides, hockey and lacrosse were invented by people who lived before Canada existed as an entity, though the first games of both sports may have been played on what eventually became Canadian territory.
And baked apple desserts involving pastry crusts? They're first recorded in England.

10. Mr. Dress up kicks Mr. Rogers butt

I agree that, in a fight, Mr. Dressup probably would have kicked Mr. Rogers's butt. But this claim lacks evidence, and appears to be "x is better than y because he's Canadian" crapola.

11. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts butt

However, they are both still gross.

12. In the war of 1812, started by U.S.A, Canadians pushed back the Americans to their ‘white house’. Then we burned it . . . and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Mackenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied, Go figure.

At least it wasn't your history teacher who gave you this list. Canada didn't exist as a nation until 1867, and was unable to even enter into a war. The War of 1812 was arguably incited by the British Empire (though, yes, the Americans did declare war first), and was a British war fought with British soldiers.

13. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany

Never having surrendered to a nation that has never even invaded one's continent is something to be proud of, yes.

14. We have the largest English population that never surrendered or withdrew from any war to anyone anywhere EVER

It really helps that we haven't been invaded since we became a country, and that we've been nursing at both the British and American bosoms for our entire existence as a nation.

15. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour

It lasted a couple of days, actually, and most of it was fought in the streets of Toronto, not a bar.

16. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing ... but showed up in time to get cought

Only if you don't count the people who were hanged, exiled, or sent to Australian penal colonies.

17. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on

Flannel and plaid aren't the same thing. And don't get me started on the difference between plaid and tartan.

18. The Hudson’s Bay company once owned over 10% of the Earth’s surface and it is still around as the worlds oldest company

It's wonderful that imperialistic proclamations and somewhat decent corporate management are what make this country so great.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a Buffalo

Where is this "we" coming from? And we have bison. Have you even seen a bison close enough to get to consider what to do with all of its parts?

20. We don’t marry our kin-folk

Maybe you don't.

21. We invented Ski-Doos, Jet Skies, Velcro, Zippers, Insulen, Penicillin, Zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives every year

This generalized "we" is rather troublesome. I highly doubt that most individual Canadians had anything to do with the development of synthetic insulin. Most of us weren't even alive yet.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues on something metal and lived to tell about it

So have lots of people in upstate New York, and probably even people in Norway.

23. A Canadian invented Superman

Good for him. Why does that make Canada better again?

24. Our beer kicks butt

"Our" beer? What beer are we talking about here? Labatt? Kokanee? Are you serious? Both of those taste like pee.

25. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on . . .

But the extra handle room compromises the structural integrity of the case, thereby increasing the likelihood of case failure, which increases the likelihood of beer on the parking lot instead of in my belly.

Originally Posted by earlessdog

I'm Canadian, and anti-patriotic and I despise any bit of Nationalism that a person has. But I am glad to be Canadian rather than American, personally.

What a beautiful contradiction. The whole "at least we're not American!" thing is a bastion of mainstream Canadian patriotism. And it's not even a very good one.

I'm not anti-patriotic, neccesarily. I'm anti-ignorance.