[Here-am-I]

I don't understand this. What do all of you think about month "anniversaries"?

I will tell you all what I think when I have more time - I'm going to a cook-out now, so I don't have time to chat at the moment! I'd also like to hear what everyone else has to say before I share my thoughts.

So discuss away!

[rock_show_host]

My girlfriend and I celebrate them -- nothing fancy, just meaning we'll maybe go out on that day or do something fun with each other. It's obviously not a big deal, just fun.

[Gods*Armygirl]

I don't think it's anything to make a big deal over. I've never had one and it's not something I feel is neccessary, but it doesn't bother me. The whole "weekaversary" thing I think is kind of stupid though. I know someone who did that.

[akaukal]

My girlfriend and I celebrated 6 months and 18 months is coming up if that counts. We'll be celebrating it.

[Dr. Worm]

If it is important to your significant other, it is important. Even if you think it is silly.

[TravisR]

Originally Posted by Dr. Worm

If it is important to your significant other, it is important. Even if you think it is silly.

But don't you think you should communicate with your partner well enough so that your partner knows you think it is silly?

I mean, I don't think anyone really takes monthaversaries or whatever you want to call them very seriously. They're just a cute little thing where you maybe you talk about it and do something special if you want... but there is really no significance to them. It's not necessary to celebrate them and make them into a big deal. I don't know... I don't think I'd be able to handle someone who was really into that... but that's me.

[ieatdirt]

We say "Happy X-month." Thats about it.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by TravisR

But don't you think you should communicate with your partner well enough so that your partner knows you think it is silly?

Indicating that what you think is silly is important, but hat they think is important is not. In other words, not communicating and compromising, but steamrolling over their views of what is and is not important.

There is a significance in this day and age in a relationship lasting 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc. What is silly about that?

I mean, I don't think anyone really takes monthaversaries or whatever you want to call them very seriously. They're just a cute little thing where you maybe you talk about it and do something special if you want... but there is really no significance to them. It's not necessary to celebrate them and make them into a big deal. I don't know... I don't think I'd be able to handle someone who was really into that... but that's me.

And I know a couple who are 30 who do. The guy had never been in a relationship that lasted more than a month, ad she had never been in one for over 3 months prior. It was kind of a big deal for them. (He is from manchester England and had problems finding girls who didn't want to sleep with him after the third date including in the church. His solution was breaking up.)

Honestly, if someone regards this as important, it probably would be best to indulge them a little bit for a while. In time little things don't matter in the same sense. I met my wife almost a decade ago. Counting months would be confusing at this point.

[Here-am-I]

ok, so this is my opinion:

I think they are pretty ridiculous. It makes me upset that relationships have gotten so bad over the years that now it's important to celebrate month anniversaries - because relationships don't last much longer than that. It's like, the people who find it important to celebrate month anniversaries don't have the commitment to look forward to year anniversaries. They have to celebrate being together every month because they don't really see themselves being together for years. When I read that "There is a significance in this day and age in a relationship lasting 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc." it makes me sad. Relationships aren't really taken that seriously anymore.

I have this theory that people who celebrate month anniversaries have shorter relationships. Does anybody else see this? My friend finds it really important to celebrate her month relationships and consequently she's been in many, many relationships (none of which lasted more than about 6 months). On the other hand, my parents never celebrated month anniversaries (because they were looking toward their future of marrying each other), and they have been married for about 33 years now. These are just two examples, and I'm sure there are many exceptions, but this is just the way I see it. I think it would be really cool to do some kind of study to see the relationship between month-anniversaries and the length of relationships.

I DO understand maybe in the relationship bringing up the fact "hey, we've been together for 3 months now!" but I don't understand setting aside an entire day to celebrate it. I also think that a 6-month "anniversary" is ok. That would be a good reason to go out to dinner or something. And I guess if people just did it as a fun thing (with no real significance tied to it), that's ok. But really take it seriously? Come on.

My other issue with them is when do they stop? I've never seen anyone stop celebrating month anniversaries because their relationship always ends before they do!

I don't know. I guess in a way, I see it as a weakness in relationships. Like, "we don't know if we'll be together in 2 years, so we'll celebrate this month's anniversary". I miss seeing good, loving, committed relationships. Just about everyone in the area I live in is a serial dater (even the Christians). I think if you're dating someone, you shouldn't be dating them to date them, you should be dating them to marry them. Kind of like courtship.

So that's what I think!

[Dr. Worm]

Originally Posted by TravisR

But don't you think you should communicate with your partner well enough so that your partner knows you think it is silly?

Yes and no. Mostly no. Any conversation that starts with one person saying "X is really important to me," and the other person responding, "No dear, X is just silly," is taking a step in a very bad direction in the relationship. If you can't learn to put your significant other's desires ahead of your own, then you are headed for some really really lousy relationships in your life. Take it from someone who has made that mistake before.

I mean, I don't think anyone really takes monthaversaries or whatever you want to call them very seriously. They're just a cute little thing where you maybe you talk about it and do something special if you want... but there is really no significance to them. It's not necessary to celebrate them and make them into a big deal. I don't know... I don't think I'd be able to handle someone who was really into that... but that's me.

All I can say is that you're wrong. Some people do take them seriously. And the thing is, it is so easy to indulge them. It may not be important to you, but what harm could possibly come from celebrating your relationship and setting some time aside to appreciate what you have together? It is such a little compromise for you to make. If you don't think you could handle being with someone who has such a minor difference of opinion from you as this, then you could be missing out on some really amazing people for what may just be the silliest reason I have heard in my life.

[jthomas1600]

I think it depends on the two people to a large extent--their age and where they are at in life.

It also may depend on how the relationship starts. Shortly after I met my wife we both knew we wanted to date each other but it took us several months after that before we actually went on our first date. I was 26 and she was 22 and I don't think we considered it a "relationship" until we went on several dates--in otherwards I'm not sure we could've picked a day to celabrate. If we had picked a day, we'd be celabrating something like our 165th monthaversary.

[beanbag]

my parents started dating 31 years ago, and recently celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary. they have a little competition going on (and I think it may have started right after their marriage) to see who can be the first to wish each other a "happy month-iversary" on the 23rd of each month, which is the day they got married. I think it's cute, and it amuses them.

if you don't like it, don't do it. that doesn't mean you have to criticise people who DO do it, because to them, it is meaningful. I also don't think that it necessarily means: "we don't know if we'll be together in 2 years, so we'll celebrate this month's anniversary" as you are spinning it. it is true that there is never certainty in any relationship, because tragedies do happen but I know in my parents' case, it's not "let's celebrate this day because we might not be together next year" but rather, "let's celebrate how far we've come together, love, and remember the vows we've made to each other."

my parents have NOT had an easy marriage by far. I can imagine that many other people would have split long ago after facing the obstacles my parents have faced and continue to face. so obviously in their case, celebrating each month as it comes is not related to a shaky, unstable relationship, but is instead directly related to a relationship that has continued to blossom and strengthen over their three decades together as a couple.

[Jeffrey]

For 15-year-olds are "in a relationship," this might be silly. For 24-year-olds who are in love, it might, or it might not. For 45-year-olds have have been married 20 years, it might be very sweet. I don't think there's a hard and fast rule. It's easier to analyze specific cases ("My friend, who's 17, has been in three sexual relationships hidden from her parents, and who has depressive tendencies, always has monthly celebrations" or "My friend, who's 35, a pastor, and has been married for 10 years, has started taking his wife out for monthly dinners") than try to create general rules for this sort of thing.

It's apples to oranges.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by Here-am-I

ok, so this is my opinion:

I think they are pretty ridiculous. It makes me upset that relationships have gotten so bad over the years that now it's important to celebrate month anniversaries - because relationships don't last much longer than that. It's like, the people who find it important to celebrate month anniversaries don't have the commitment to look forward to year anniversaries. They have to celebrate being together every month because they don't really see themselves being together for years. When I read that "There is a significance in this day and age in a relationship lasting 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc." it makes me sad. Relationships aren't really taken that seriously anymore.

I have this theory that people who celebrate month anniversaries have shorter relationships. Does anybody else see this? My friend finds it really important to celebrate her month relationships and consequently she's been in many, many relationships (none of which lasted more than about 6 months). On the other hand, my parents never celebrated month anniversaries (because they were looking toward their future of marrying each other), and they have been married for about 33 years now. These are just two examples, and I'm sure there are many exceptions, but this is just the way I see it. I think it would be really cool to do some kind of study to see the relationship between month-anniversaries and the length of relationships.

I DO understand maybe in the relationship bringing up the fact "hey, we've been together for 3 months now!" but I don't understand setting aside an entire day to celebrate it. I also think that a 6-month "anniversary" is ok. That would be a good reason to go out to dinner or something. And I guess if people just did it as a fun thing (with no real significance tied to it), that's ok. But really take it seriously? Come on.

My other issue with them is when do they stop? I've never seen anyone stop celebrating month anniversaries because their relationship always ends before they do!

I don't know. I guess in a way, I see it as a weakness in relationships. Like, "we don't know if we'll be together in 2 years, so we'll celebrate this month's anniversary". I miss seeing good, loving, committed relationships. Just about everyone in the area I live in is a serial dater (even the Christians). I think if you're dating someone, you shouldn't be dating them to date them, you should be dating them to marry them. Kind of like courtship.

So that's what I think!

What makes you think that parents and grandparents did not do this as youngsters?

My wife did this and it faded to every 3 months and every 6 months. My best friend and his girlfriend, soon to be fiance still do this. We did this up till around month 50. We dated for a long time and got married 3 years ago. We never really dated anybody else.

[Here-am-I]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

What makes you think that parents and grandparents did not do this as youngsters?

My wife did this and it faded to every 3 months and every 6 months. My best friend and his girlfriend, soon to be fiance still do this. We did this up till around month 50. We dated for a long time and got married 3 years ago. We never really dated anybody else.

Well, I know my parents didn't because I asked my mom... as for everyone else, I don't know. I'm not really trying to say they DIDN'T do it... I'm just saying relationships used to be a more serious matter, but nowadays they're just something to do.

And like I said, I know there are exceptions. Some people who celebrate month anniversaries are normal people in real, mature, committed relationships. It's just that everyone I actually SEE who does this fails.

I like what Jeffrey said. Very true. I just see more of the "15 year-olds 'in a relationship'" thing I guess.