[swim2112]

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of
you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by

a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such
occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call
was from

AT&T and it went something like this:

Me: Hello

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to
my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still
waiting.


Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.

Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can
express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not
interested", but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a
minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see
that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a
little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes
sir that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one
big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you
send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7
days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008
per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how
you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10
cents a minute. Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd
give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......

Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll
give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute?
Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read
about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your
alien brainwashing techniques on me!

AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!

AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin
to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few
minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10
cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could
do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce
a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me
so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor: OK, no problem,
I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed
to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but
polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in
signing up for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can
never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really
like to have a little brother...

AT&T: (click)

[punkrawker]

thats great.

[IAmCrossEyed]

<~~~~~~~~ former telemarketer. That is funny, but you just don't realize what it takes to go to school for hours, then work for hours, calling people the whole time. You sit in front of a computer and it dials a number for you, when the person answers, you read off of a computer screen. When that phone call is over, the computer dials again, over and over and over. After going through hours of death threats (no joke), rude people, and idiots, you just want to go home and die. I have the greatest sympathy for telemarketers. One day I had someone encourage me and tell me that Jesus loved me. I was already saved, but what an uplifting moment that was that day. Now, when telemarketers call me, I put down my food, which can wait, and tell them how much Jesus loves them, and how I hope that helps their day. It is well worth my time.

Sorry that I spoiled the mood, but that is my two cents.

[OnEaglesWings]

Well, I thought it was funny, but I too have sympathy for telemarketers (not that I've been one, but, still...)

[MrCrabby]

Haha.
But i do feel kinda sorry for telemarketers too, that must be one of the worst jobs in the world.