[Singin4Him82]

I don't think it's vital that you are constantly sharing this with you wife. If you have shared this with her already you might not want to continue to bring this into your marriage because it may cause tension in your marriage and worry for your wife. You do need to do to deal with it and put a stop to it.

This is a very serious situation and I am telling you right now Satan obviously sees that this is getting to you and is going to do his best to try to get you to stumble. It's a slippery slope, you may not be interested in the advances but Satan can weasel his way in there and blind you if you are not careful. That is true with anyone, I don't care who the person is we are ALL able to fall into temptation if we do not guard against it. For that very reason you need to make it quite clear in your attitude towards this woman her flirting does not amuse or attract you in the slightest, if you have to just totally ignore her even if it means being rude.

Your marriage is sacred and to protect that sometimes we have to intentionally treat a member of the opposite sex aalmost s if they do not exsist if they refuse to let up. The more you ignore it they will quite possibly back off. It's no fun when the person isn't responsive anymore. Let's just say I have been in your shoes before but instead of a co-worker it was a friend...or so I thought he was a friend but obviously not. I agree though if this continues you should talk to HR asap, this could be considered sexual harrassment in many companies.

[Jfool]

Shut this person down cold. Tell your wife and take action. Search your soul and make absolutely sure you didn't encourage this in any way.

Never be in the presence of the opposite sex without another adult present.

Report outright advances to the appropriate person in the organization.

Pray.

[H.M. Murdock]

They aren't after you, old buddy. They're after what you represent, or what you are committed to. It's not an issue of whether they want you, it's about whether or not they can prove that they can have you if they so choose.
While I'm not married, people aren't exactly respectful of long-distance relationships. At least, not here, and not in my previous line of work. But when stuff like this happens, it's not you they want, per se. It's the idea. The notion that they can defeat whatever commitment you have because they are, de facto, superior to whatever else you are striving to maintain.
Shut them down. Get angry if you have to. Get angry if you want to; this is something to be angry about. The last girl who tried anything on me ended up sobbing, sure, but I haven't had any problems from her since.

[athanatos]

I know this is a little old of a thread, and I have never been married, but you could use the moment to swing it back around to affirming your wife. Like, "someone had the guts to make a pass at me, but she was absurd, because I've got you, you're way better, you're all I need" or something like that.

[Jfool]

Originally Posted by athanatos

I know this is a little old of a thread, and I have never been married, but you could use the moment to swing it back around to affirming your wife. Like, "someone had the guts to make a pass at me, but she was absurd, because I've got you, you're way better, you're all I need" or something like that.

Good post, but be careful. Women read between the lines. Saying "you're better" begs the question: what if she's better? Are you considering each flirtation based on the camparison? Of course not, but this is touchy stuff. Bottom line is you have a committment that is sealed by the Almighty.

[tlj009]

Thats what is bugging me.

Saythese two scenarios...

One, drunk woman in apartment tries to force her way into my apartment explicitly offering sex acts. It bothered me and created a certain tension with a neighbor (her boyfriend). I told my wife because it really bothered me and... I do not know what to do.

two, someone I work with has been consistently flirty, and honestly it bothers me on a lot of levels. We are both married and she is not acting like it and I am trying to avoid her, but I also thought my wife should know as that kinda defuses the situation on some levels. In this case, she is brazen enough that she might do it in front of my wife and I want her to know I am doing nothing to egg it on, and doing stuff to stop it. I also spoke to some friends of mine, who were in positions of authority to speak to her about it being uncomfortable. They asked me if anything was going on, so its not exactly subtle.

Those had led me to wondering about the concept in general.

Because on some level, telling feels wrong, and not telling feels wrong. Those two were notable, but there have been a lot of passing stuff thats been recent as well. The secondary one is really bothering me. But thats a whole different matter.

Women don't like to feel threatened but they like to be told things. My opinion is that the first case should be a nonissue unless you want to reconcile with your neighbor and want your wife's opinion on it. There she can help and she is not threatened (because cheating never even crossed your mind as a possibility, you just want to fix the problem with your neighbor). Later, you can even joke about what a stud she married since you have very drunk women hitting on you.

You need to talk to her about how to handle the second case since it is obviously a problem. I have never seen a woman flirting with me as a big deal but it sounds like your coworker may be taking it a little far. Anyway, I wouldn't tell her like it was something you wanted to clear your concious about. You only do that if you actually did or thought something wrong. The issue is actually that you have a problem with a coworker and you need your wife's help to find a way to fix it. You did nothing wrong, cheating never even crossed your mind, but you have a problem that needs to be fixed so that you can do your job.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by tlj009

Women don't like to feel threatened but they like to be told things. My opinion is that the first case should be a nonissue unless you want to reconcile with your neighbor and want your wife's opinion on it. There she can help and she is not threatened (because cheating never even crossed your mind as a possibility, you just want to fix the problem with your neighbor). Later, you can even joke about what a stud she married since you have very drunk women hitting on you.

The neighbor is a wee bit of a problem to be honest. You can cut the tension with a knife when we are both in the hall. Therein lies the rub, but I think he may be moving. I hope so.

You need to talk to her about how to handle the second case since it is obviously a problem. I have never seen a woman flirting with me as a big deal but it sounds like your coworker may be taking it a little far. Anyway, I wouldn't tell her like it was something you wanted to clear your concious about. You only do that if you actually did or thought something wrong. The issue is actually that you have a problem with a coworker and you need your wife's help to find a way to fix it. You did nothing wrong, cheating never even crossed your mind, but you have a problem that needs to be fixed so that you can do your job.

I didn't, and I actually got talked to by her husband yesterday. He was uncomfortable with how she was acting and he apologized about the whole deal, and he had talked to her. I went to higher ups so my butt is covered.