how do I let her know I want her?

insane · 04-27-2008, 12:52 PM

I tried searching for a thread like this but got tired of looking, so if this is a repost sorry.

There is this girl at my church's youth group, in the past couple of months we have become really close to each other. We both care for each other.

I want her to be my girlfriend. I have never dated or had a girl friend, how do I let her know I want her?

Demon_Hunter · 04-27-2008, 01:02 PM

Just outright tell her. It feels a hell of alot better to just go ahead and tell someone you like them than to hold it an and try to figure out what to say.

insane · 04-27-2008, 01:06 PM

thanks.

JesusFrEaK0077 · 04-27-2008, 01:06 PM

I agree... Just outright tell her. If you try to figure out what to say, you'll probably end up forgetting what you thought of rather than just walking up to her, and talking like you normally do.
Good luck

simpleone07 · 04-27-2008, 01:07 PM

Don't let that fear keep you from telling her how you feel. You don't want to go through your youth group experience wondering how she feels about you. Try asking her out. That's a pretty blunt way of telling someone that you're interested in them

Michael_rev · 04-27-2008, 01:07 PM

1st of all you never say you want her, shes not some peice of meat. Try to be more meaning full whan talking about her, since it seems you clearly have strong feelings. I have had many relationships, but i will tell you the first time can be a little scary. Couple words of advice.

1. Dont wait too long. If you do she will lose interest and look elsewhere. That has happened many times to me and i have learned my lesson. Instead of worrying what could happen, just do it and then find out. The least you could say later is "at least i tried".
2. Dont get too attached. Let her come to you. There is a great saying i once heard and it is so true. "He who cares the least is the most in control". This doesnt mean you shouldnt show her attention and affection but it means dont do most of the talking and dont be the one that seems the most attached. Ogtherwise you will scare her away.
3. If you are going to do it, dont say i love you. That would terrify her. Trust me. Those words are supposed to be saved for when the relationship has been running strong for along time. Id give it at least 6months to 1 year before saying i love you. Or at least when you think you both are ready.
4. Baby steps. Try asking her out on a innocent date/get together. Offer to take her out, but not the movies or dinner. Not original, lame. Ive been with my girl for 13 months and our 1st date was laser tag and dinner.
2nd was hiking.

So try saying something like "hey, i really like you and would really like to get to know you better. How about we go do something."

Hopefully things work out for you, dont get disappointed in life. You will run into alot of relationships before you meet the one.

insane · 04-27-2008, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael_rev

3. dont say i love you.

yeah about that...we both have said that to each other.

simpleone07 · 04-27-2008, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insane

yeah about that...we both have said that to each other.

I thought you wanted to date her...but yet you both have already told each other you loved the other.....

Michael_rev · 04-27-2008, 01:17 PM

how old are you guys? If you both said i love you, then there is no need to ask what you are asking. Unless she was joking. If she said she loves you she will say yes to going out with you.

insane · 04-27-2008, 01:18 PM

Like I said, we both care for each other, in a friendship sort of way.
edit:we are both 16.

JesusFrEaK0077 · 04-27-2008, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insane

yeah about that...we both have said that to each other.

I'd say it's ok, since you both have said it. I don't see a problem there

JesusFrEaK0077 · 04-27-2008, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insane

Like I said, we both care for each other, in a friendship sort of way.
edit:we are both 16.

And you want it to be in a different way? is that what I'm getting?

insane · 04-27-2008, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesusFrEaK0077

And you want it to be in a different way? is that what I'm getting?

I guess that is what I am trying to say.

simpleone07 · 04-27-2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insane

Like I said, we both care for each other, in a friendship sort of way.
edit:we are both 16.

IMO, I'd stop saying it in that friendship kind of way, because that's how she's going to see you. If you keep acting like her best friend, then she's only going to see you as a best friend. It will be hard to break that mindset of hers if she develops it.

Michael_rev · 04-27-2008, 05:20 PM

youve never had a girlfreind before so thats ok if you make a few mistakes right now, you will have plenty of time to learn from them.

1. if a girl says i love you like a friend and you dont think she wants to move to the next level, then she doesnt. You have to flirt a little and get her to want you before you tell her you want her. Flirting is simple, more than you think. simply mess around with her, jokingly, compliment her, tickle her here and there, make her laugh. Give her reasons to be around you. Dont act like a kid when you do it though, try to act mature but playful.
2. Wait to long and itll be too late. One time i was just like you. I had a crush on a girl named laurie in highschool. I went to church with her and we hung out at school. I liked her and i thought she liked me. Howver i waited too long to ask her out. When i finally did, she had gotten to impatient waiting for me and started dating my bestfreidn, while remaining friends with me. How do the other guys get the girls? CONFIDENCE!!! You have to show her that you arent afraid of rejection and you really like her. Dont buy any gifts until at least the 4 month marker in your relationship.
3. Again dont think IF or MAYBE, think WHEN and YES.

Stop being friends, and start getting...close