[Rainer.]

Please tell her. Like I posted before, clear communication is a key to any successful marriage.

If you have to worry about how she'll react now, then you'll have to worry a lot more if you hold out on her, and wait to tell her.

If you're worried about how she would take you seeing a pastor, then ask her about it, and pray about and discuss it before you do anything.

But I think going without her knowledge will only lead to more trust issues and security issues between you and her in the long term. Because really, it's belittling to her to get the idea that you think that she can't handle your seeing a pastor, and won't talk to her about it, or even inform her. That's a chip on the keystone of communication.

[HedbangnProphet]

i told her last night, and that the reason i am doing it IS because i love her so. she said she it sounds like a good idea

so idk if thats actually what she thought, but thats at least what she said heh. anyway

[bravesfan007]

Originally Posted by HedbangnProphet

i told her last night, and that the reason i am doing it IS because i love her so. she said she it sounds like a good idea

so idk if thats actually what she thought, but thats at least what she said heh. anyway

I'm glad you made up your mind and told her. I'm even more glad that she's alright with the idea. Sounds like she really wants to make it work and is willing to work with you to make sure you try and stay together.

As far as whether or not she meant it. I'm not sure, after dating the same girl for almost four years now I am still confused every now and then by her words. Women are something that you're probably not ever going to truly understand.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by HedbangnProphet

2 months as of today

i realized i never cried about it...i was intensly angry for a number of reasons like my "friend" (the one she was with) trying to lie to me about it and my other "friend" (who had been friends with both me and her for YEARS) trying to make her out to be some sort of whore and made fun of me because i wanted to wait with her.....but i never really cried about any of the situation

until now...i just did...still am...mostly because im mad at myself....idk. i know im not stupid but i sure feel like one...cuz i love her and some of my friends, and even my mom is like "well then just marry a virgin" im not going to give up on someone as wonderful as her just because of any one mistake, thats ridiculous...thatd be like her breaking up with me because i said a swear word. i just wanna forget any of this happend...my so called "friends" hating me just because i date her, the bad thoughts about her and him togehter

i just wanna love her in peace...and just when it seems like i can do that i fail myself it seems

it shouldnt be that hard to deal with...i just make everything a stupid big deal cuz whatever...idk

No one here thinks you're an idiot. I'm glad you asked this question. You get to come out of this situation win-win - you either get to extend the grace of Christ to her, even if the relationship is that much stronger, or you get to enter into a long-term relationship that spurs each of you to grow in maturity.