[Butterfly16]

A couple days ago I wrote a professor of mine about writing me a letter of reference and today, just a few minutes ago actually I recieved a reply back and she wants me to write it mylsef. She said that I should write the lettter, say exactly what I want to in it, and portray mylsef how I think is best accurate. She said I can give it to her, she will adjust it as necessary and then sign it.

I really don't know how to do this. Its the most awkward thing. I feel weird writing that I do things well, mostly because I really don't feel like I do do a lot of things well. It's the positive, encouraging things I hear from other people, I am never ususally one to be able to tell or believe mylsef. This seems like an impossible activity.

How do I know what I would write is what she would think? I am just horrible at writing letters like this anyways... which does not help this situation.

This is just ridiculous. Since when is the person reciving the letter of reference supposed to write it about themselves???

[beanbag]

I believe that is actually unethical. in my experience, when professors write letters of recommendation those letters are not shown to the student.

I think your best course of action would be to thank her and politely inform her that you cannot write the letter yourself, and therefore will seek someone else to write your letter of recommendation.

maybe something along the lines of:

Dear Professor X:

I regret to inform you that I cannot comply with your request to write the letter of recommendation for myself, and therefore will be seeking other professors who will be able to write a letter of recommendation for me.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Y

[Tim Possible]

Originally Posted by beanbag

I believe that is actually unethical.

Agreed.

[MtlMom]

I would just ask another professor to write the reference letter and not discuss it any further with the first.

[Art]

Originally Posted by MtlMom

I would just ask another professor to write the reference letter and not discuss it any further with the first.

I definitely agree.

[Diana J.]

Actually I think this is a rather common practice, probably because professors
are so busy and get so many requests for references, they don't want to take
the time to write the letters. But one good thing about doing it yourself and
just letting him/her sign it, is that you know it gets done. I have a friend who needed
a couple references from profs to apply for pharmacy school, one prof said he
would send one but never got around to it. So it stymied her application process.
Not good.

[Butterfly16]

I really wanted to take everyone's advice and just find someone else.
It is actually a common practice here. I asked around a little after I wrote that first post and even my faculty advisor said in order to get her job she had to write her own letter of reference. My aunt has had to do that. Another friend in the nurs program has had to do that a couple times before as well. I guess I just had never had anyone ask me that before.

I don't know about it being unethical... I had never thought about it before...I would think it cant be since it happens so often...
but I could very easily be wrong

[Epaphras]

Something just like this happened to me today actually.

I compromised by writing an outline version of what I wanted him to talk about, without actually writing it. Like I wrote down suggestions of things he could mention that would help me get the scholarship I'm going for.

Weird though. Kinda like voting for yourself when you run for office.

[H.M. Murdock]

"What a handsome devil you are! I feel like you want all the same things I want..."

[Butterfly16]

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

"What a handsome devil you are! I feel like you want all the same things I want..."

What?! Did I miss something?

[Simo]

I don't think it is unethical at all. In fact is common practice in a lot of places. Especially for people like professors who are busy, and who may not know you brilliantly.

It actually works quite well in most cases, and most people are quite modest when it comes to writing about themselves. The times it doesn't work is when people have a hugely inflated idea of themselves, and it is those times that the professor actually changes it.

I think you should go ahead and write something. Get a parent/friend to check it before you send it.