[TFK14]

Shes on 'cause shes mah sister....


/me adds you to MSN(And your yahoo account too)

So, Howzit?

[4of5Rocker]

It's great that you're in a good mood! You know how girls are with moods, and all.

I tried chatting this morning, but obviously you aren't responding.

I'll try again after work. About 3:30, mountain time.

[jesus_chic]

well i'm 14 now. my b-day just pasted. dec. 26
well yes i'm tfk14's lil sis.
but i took piano lessons a bit ago and now i play the flute. but i don't play gutiar,
you say holy snap too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's frezzing here. so we have no school cuz it's to cold.
what's new and exciting?
and just new.
or just exciting.
or neither.

[[red]]

Life is suckage. Let me catch everyone up.

I am going to be staying in Texas, living with my best friend instead of moving up to Utah with my boyfriend. I just figured it was the wiser thing to do. God wants the best for me, and I don't want to compromise that again. I made the mistake of living with a guy I was with for 8 months, we were together, engaged and all, but something was off. It ended pretty awfully, and I was blessed enough to find an amazing sweet guy such as the current boyfriend -Paul. But I think if I were to move in with him up there, we would be compromising God's will for us, and I really like this guy, and I don't want to mess it up. He was very upset and disappointed at first, but now he understands and agrees. Just was a tough thing to have to decide. Bahh, integrity baby, its harder than it looks, like whoa to the N'th degree. So there's that...

Found out this morning in a phone call from my Aunt, that my Grammy has cancer. It's in her lungs, spreading rapidly to her liver, and possibly other places. I don't really know what else to say on that... prayers are welcomed and appreciated.

[jesus_chic]

I think you guys made the right decision.
Maybe god has something amazing in store for you in texas.

OMGSH. i feel so bad for you.
I'll be praying for you, your family and your grandma.
*hugs*

XO Kate

[[red]]

what is up, homeslices? long time no posting! so whoa, got tons of updates...where to begin... Hmm, how 'bout where i left off? My Grammy's cancer...and the boyfriend situation.

Okay well...Pretty much the last time I posted it all went crazy. All sorts of stuff happened. It was the 22nd when I posted, right? Well January 30, I got engaged! Paul came to Dallas to visit me, before finishing up tech school and moving to Utah. He popped the question and I said yes! Okay, theres that. This will get worse, but then it will get MUCH better...seriously...MUCH better.


Apparently Grammy's cancer was worse than we thought... I ended up flying to be with her in Georgia, and staying and living with her for the next...almost month. I left like 3 days after I got engaged. So I stayed with her and I was her care-taker. Guys, it was hard. I mean emotionally strenuous. I was SO beyond blessed that God answered my prayers to give me the strength to be strong for her, emotionally speaking. I mean, not that it was bad to cry in front of her - but it just seemed like thats what EVERYONE was doing, y'know? She was in shock as it was, then all sorts of family flew in almost immediately...the next week was packed full of people she hadn't seen in years, cards, letters, cakes, pies, casseroles galore, pop in visits, everyone telling her how much they'd miss her. She was on the verge of emotional meltdown, it was wretched. So I told God I had to be the one person to be strong for her, so she could try to have as close to a normal day as possible. The conversation was always cancer so I did my best to fill the air with happiness and positive energy. It worked for the most part. I admit, one night I ended up breaking down. She woke up in the night and came and sat with me. For the first time in a long time I felt like the kid, and her the grandma, not vice versa. We both talked and cried and held each other. But it needed to happen. I was really hurting, and I know she was too.

I tried to not to talk too terribly much about being engaged at first, because honestly the one thing on my mind was that she wouldn't be there to see me married, most likely... Well, Grammy was a smart cookie. She found out and went bonkers! She was SO excited for us! Suddenly I thought, why didn't I tell her?! What would take her mind off of the cancer more than helping plan her oldest granddaughter's wedding?! So the last week there, she was sick but ecstatic. She and Paul talked on the phone several times, it was so sweet. One of my proudest moments, for sure.

She took me aside one day soon there after, and told me something I'll never forget. She told me she wasn't scared of dying, anymore. She said it'd be "time, soon. and it was *my* turn to go live my dreams." She wanted me to get on a plane, move up to Utah and be with Paul. So he and I discussed it, and I proposed a most interesting idea. Elope! Well, not so much elope as cut all of the fancy stuff out of it. I just wanted to be his wife. I just wanted to be married. No wedding, no big deal, I just wanted HIM.

So we did it! He was still finishing tech school in Phoenix, Arizona, so I said goodbye to my precious grandmother, and flew down there. Grammy wanted to stop radiation and chemo the week I left...she wanted a better quality of life, than quantity. The last time I talked to her, was my Wedding Day. Its a bittersweet story, I know. She became pretty incoherent the week or so after I was married. It breaks my heart in the best of both ways, telling this story. Its like she was giving me the rest of the life she had left in her. She was fulfilled by my happiness. How amazing is that? My Grammy was an amazing woman. She passed away on March 17. She was in the hospital not even 2 weeks after I left, slipping and fading away . . . Its like, she was done. It was kind of peaceful, in a way. God gave me the strength to be strong for her, he sent me a bond with my grandmother that formed in a mere month's time, that we'd never had. It was a special bond. I kind of feel she is Paul & I's guardian angel. Its neat. I miss her everyday, but in a way I literally feel that she never left. Sometimes I can feel her presence. Its astounding. God is good. Paul and I were married February 27, (2009 clearly) and now live in Utah. I have a job up here, he's in the Air Force, and our life is good. :-)

I've got one tad bit more piece of news, if ya'll can handle it . . .

I find out for sure later this week, so I'll post results when I find out for sure, but . . .

I may be PREGNANT!

Leave me some love, CGR peeps. I'll be keeping up here as much as I can. Toodles!

[TFK14]

HEY! You're Back!
Where ya been?

Kinda sad about your Grandma, but at least she's in a better place now.

Gratz On Getting Married!
Very cool also about being pregnant!(Maybe)

[4of5Rocker]

Wait, pregnant AGAIN?!

ZMGZMGZMGZMGZMG.

Holly, that's awesome! ^-^ And I accidently erased your phone number when I got a new cell, would it be possible to start texting again?