[Gwenny]

This was sent to me in an email by my sister. I don't know who the actual guy is....

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer.

I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:

Me: (swallowing) Hello

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.

Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate." I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......

Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

AT&T: No sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T: (click)

[RK_lover]

[nbfan]

That's pretty good.

[Art]

I don't care for this joke simply because I am disgusted by the way telemarketers are treated. How hard is it to say "I'm not intereted" and hang up? I have seen a lot of people tell stories like this. Those people are just doing their job. *sigh*

[Fandrew]

I answer in French, that way, I can be very civil and still have them hang up on me. Everyone wins.

[The wirerat]

Chinese always worked for me, although I do have to agree with Art. I have a friend who used to do that. Those people are doing their job just like everyone else. Its not too hard to be polite.

[headbanger13]

Well, me and my friends prank lots of other people doing their jobs, so why not telemarketers too?

[hapa_angel]

I'm with Art, except for one thing. If they call right at dinnertime, they have lost every last iota of my respect. I then start with the Chinese.

[Demon_Hunter]

I used to be a telemarketer, so I feel some measure of sympathy.

1. Most telemarketers are calling at a time when they would rather be home eating just like the people they are calling.

2. Quite a few that I have met neither have the credentials, nor the background that would allow them to move on to a more productive job.

3. There are very restrictive laws regarding times when companies can call, and managers exploit these laws to the fullest extent, and use their employees in somewhat unfair ways to make an extra couple of bucks.

4. I found this conversation to be extremely funny!!!!!!

Having been on the giving and receiving end of these types of calls, I sympathise with both sides. I gotta say, you should try to imagine a call like that from the perspective of the caller. The callcenter would be full of laughter 5 seconds after he hung up.

[normajean777]

Ya this was pretty funny. I'd love to have someone do this to me if that was my job, imagine how much time would be wasted with no gain, while you get paid (and have a laugh at the end)

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by JayCarrfan

I answer in French, that way, I can be very civil and still have them hang up on me. Everyone wins.

That is seriously brilliant.

[Demon_Hunter]

Originally Posted by normajean777

Ya this was pretty funny. I'd love to have someone do this to me if that was my job, imagine how much time would be wasted with no gain, while you get paid (and have a laugh at the end)

Actually, if you are commision only, then this kind of call would piss you off, but if you are hourly+commision, then this kind of call would not be too bad.

[scared2mosh]

I usually ask how the jail food is.

[qwikslvr]

If they ask for someone, just say they had passed away real recently and wait for there reaction
that way its still funny( for you unless they really did ) and you aren't extremeley rude

[Demon_Hunter]

Originally Posted by scared2mosh

I usually ask how the jail food is.

That doesnt make any sense.

I think next time I get a call from a telemarketer, im going to respond with "that user does not exist."

If they say "what?" or "excuse me?" or anything like that Ill respond with "Invalid command".