[mulletman]

Enjoy! Hopefully someone else gets at least some of these....






You know you’re an airline pilot when...


You look for the crew line at the grocery store.

You have a bunch of pens with different hotel names on them.

Your suitcase sits half unpacked in the corner of your bedroom between trips.

You’re riding in a car and come to a stop sign and call "clear right."

Neighbor kids ask your kids when their dad is going to get a job so he's not home during the daytime.

You don't bother to unpack. Dirty goes out, clean goes in. Done.

You start sliding on ice in a car with someone else driving and say "more right rudder."

You start reciting the engine start checklist before starting your car.

You don't think in months....you think in bid packs.

You have permanent imprints on your carpet next to the front door where your bags sit, and on your nightstand where your reserve phone sits.

You refer to cities by airport codes to aviation and non-aviation people alike.

When the gas station clerk says, "go ahead on pump 5" and you reply back to the speaker "pumping on 5."

You look left and right when starting your car engine.

You wake up in the middle of the night at home in your own bed and you don't know where you are.

You have 6 days off and absolutely refuse to go anywhere near an airport... vacation is time at home!

You are invited out to dinner by a friend while at home, but decline in favor of grilled-cheese and canned soup at home.

You try to steer your car using the brake and the gas pedals, and when using your radio you don’t use your presets but use the knob to go to individual frequencies.

You think today is Tuesday and your friend tells you it is Friday.

You try to "raise the nose" when slowing down at a stop sign.

You never spend money on shampoo, soap, shaving cream, or skin lotion.

You actually know how to program one of those freaking super complex alarm clocks at the Hilton's.

You set 3 independent alarms: cell phone, alarm clock, and wake up call.

You reply "Rodger" or "no questions" to your wife.

You make check-lists for everything.

You refer to gas as fuel.

You always look at your watch before you drink a beer.

The Christmas list you give your family and friends looks more like the syntax of a standing bid.

You know which places give the best discounts for food in the airport.

You see a speed bump and try to pull up.

You turn your car off and mumble the shutdown check in .5 seconds.

100% of the directions you get from people tick you off. (I'm serious. After dealing with ATC, you just can't get good freaking directions).

You know which hotels you like and don't like because of the shampoo they use. Hilton's are lame.

You have three different hotel names on towels in your house.

You drive a lousy car because you quit caring after driving a multi-million dollar jet.

Your friends/family and you are going on a trip for a few days and everyone's astonished you brought a 22" bag, while they have 3 bags apiece.

You try not to tell people what you do because you don't want to have to answer the same lame questions over and over to the point where you're putting on such a fake smile that it's only rivaled by Hillary Clinton.

Someone asks how much further the drive is, and you give an exact answer to the decimal by looking at the mile marker and the E6B that's on your watch.

You know the fuel burn (gph) of your in-laws motor home generator.

You over inflate your airport car's tires to get better fuel economy.

You know exactly how many miles it is from your house to the airport, and have found both the shortest and the fastest route.

You watch the weather channel for fun and your family/friends give you a hard time about it.

You keep cheese crackers, biscoff cookies, and 'party peanuts' in your glove box.

You refer to riding in the back seat of a car as 'deadheading'.

You refer to riding in the front passenger seat of a car as 'jumpseating'.

Your rules for 'shotgun' include a commuter clause.

You can light fires by reflecting light off of your big watch.

You play the 'runway light' game in your car, hitting all the center line road reflectors you can in a row.

You get pulled over for playing the reflector game and have the same sinking feeling as when feds ride in your jumpseat.

You keep track of your car's deferrals and accurately placard any inop. equipment.

Someone asks you the time, and you respond with an answer that ends in the word 'zulu.'

And finally... You know you're an airline pilot when.... you are poor, complain all the time, but still love your job!

[Species8472]

I'm not an airline pilot, but it's funny.

[Ryan Freeland]

Nice. I got a few of them, since I am in an airline pilot family.

[mulletman]

Originally Posted by Ryan Freeland

Nice. I got a few of them, since I am in an airline pilot family.

Oh yeah? Who flies? And who do they fly for? And can they get me a job?!

[Ryan Freeland]

Currently, my dad is on military leave from Northwest airlines, but when he was active, he flew 747's and DC9's.

[Art]

I understood the jokes, and they were quite good.

The following also work for my career!

You’re riding in a car and come to a stop sign and call "clear right."

Neighbor kids ask your kids when their dad is going to get a job so he's not home during the daytime.

You are invited out to dinner by a friend while at home, but decline in favor of grilled-cheese and canned soup at home.

You think today is Tuesday and your friend tells you it is Friday.

You refer to gas as fuel.

You always look at your watch before you drink a beer.

100% of the directions you get from people tick you off.

You try not to tell people what you do because you don't want to have to answer the same lame questions over and over to the point where you're putting on such a fake smile that it's only rivaled by Hillary Clinton.

[Rock 'n Christ]

One of my friends parents are both airplane pilots, not commercial or military, they have their own plane, and some of those apply to them both .

[rockin4theking]

I'm with Art on this one. There are a lot of similarities between the airline industry and emergency services apparently.

These apply to my career and/or I've found myself doing these things:

You think today is Tuesday and your friend tells you it is Friday.

You refer to gas as fuel.

You’re riding in a car and come to a stop sign and call "clear right."

You don't bother to unpack. Dirty goes out, clean goes in. Done.

You look left and right when starting your car engine.

You wake up in the middle of the night at home in your own bed and you don't know where you are.

Your friends/family and you are going on a trip for a few days and everyone's astonished you brought a 22" bag, while they have 3 bags apiece.

You watch the weather channel for fun and your family/friends give you a hard time about it.

Good funnies!

[normajean777]

Ya I either didn't get a lot of them, and didn't think half the ones I got were funny. . . Well a few chuckles at least so not complete washout.

[mulletman]

Originally Posted by normajean777

Ya I either didn't get a lot of them, and didn't think half the ones I got were funny. . . Well a few chuckles at least so not complete washout.

Sweet. Thanks.

Regarding the one about avoiding telling people what you do, for stupid question prevention.....

Generally the first question I receive after telling people that I'm a pilot, is "Dude! So you can like fly airplanes?"




I know more than a few guys who just tell people that they're in the 'high velocity aluminum tube business.'

[SecretAgentRat]

Originally Posted by mulletman

You have a bunch of pens with different hotel names on them.

Your suitcase sits half unpacked in the corner of your bedroom between trips.

You wake up in the middle of the night at home in your own bed and you don't know where you are.

You are invited out to dinner by a friend while at home, but decline in favor of grilled-cheese and canned soup at home.

You think today is Tuesday and your friend tells you it is Friday.

100% of the directions you get from people tick you off.

You try not to tell people what you do because you don't want to have to answer the same lame questions over and over to the point where you're putting on such a fake smile that it's only rivaled by Hillary Clinton.

You watch the weather channel for fun and your family/friends give you a hard time about it.

You keep cheese crackers, biscoff cookies, and 'party peanuts' in your glove box.

So...I hate flying but these applied to me. I should go to pilot school.

[+SEAL+]

Hmm...methinks I should show this list to my pilot friend at Embry-Riddle...