Is this wrong?

JerRocks2day · 02-12-2008, 12:45 PM

Recently, my mom was complaining that a girl staying in another guy's room is wrong. Well, my brother's in college and we learned that a girl stays in his room(I think), but they don't sleep in the same bed. I think that's how the situation is going. Well, I know it would be wrong if a girl stayed in your college room for the night if she brought over her boyfriend and they shared the same bed, then it's wrong. But is it wrong for a girl to stay in a male college dorm, but sleep in a different bed?

**thesteve** · 02-12-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JerRocks2day

Recently, my mom was complaining that a girl staying in another guy's room is wrong. Well, my brother's in college and we learned that a girl stays in his room(I think), but they don't sleep in the same bed. I think that's how the situation is going. Well, I know it would be wrong if a girl stayed in your college room for the night if she brought over her boyfriend and they shared the same bed, then it's wrong. But is it wrong for a girl to stay in a male college dorm, but sleep in a different bed?

Either way, it's not wrong unless you're doing something...else

is it wise? No...but it's not inherently wrong.

JerRocks2day · 02-12-2008, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Either way, it's not wrong unless you're doing something...else

is it wise? No...but it's not inherently wrong.

Well, my mom has overreacted saying that it only shows the "appearance of evil." Your thoughts?

rock_show_host · 02-12-2008, 12:56 PM

I have slept in girls' rooms plenty of times but never shared the same bed -- I'd usually either be on the couch or a sleeping bag. I don't see anything wrong with it.

**RK_lover** · 02-12-2008, 12:59 PM

It just sorta seems like it's asking for trouble....in some situations (like rock_show_host mentioned) it's fine, and nothing happens....it just seems like alot of temptation, again depending on the exact circumstances.

mulletman · 02-12-2008, 01:05 PM

This is yet another topic with absolutely no correct answer. I agree with what the others have said... it isn't an issues unless it leads to lusting and various other acts. I do think that in the majority of cases occurrences like this are completely insignificant. I had a couple of girls I go to school with living in my apartment with me for a couple months last summer. Was it wrong? I don't think so -- they needed a place to stay, and I needed the rent money.

tigerfan88 · 02-12-2008, 02:34 PM

It is certainly asking for trouble, particularly if the two people involved ever think of each other as more than just roommates/friends. But I would say that as long as nothing is going on there, it's probably not wrong. However, I can honestly say that I would never put myself in that sort of temptation, but that's just me.

GOD'sTool · 02-12-2008, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesteve

Either way, it's not wrong unless you're doing something...else

is it wise? No...but it's not inherently wrong.

Love this answer!!!

Is it wrong no!
But is it "wise"Of course not ,Were spos'ed to conduct our selves as godly people.
I'd ask myself the age old question "WWJD"!
I personally dont agree with it But
If you think you can do it ,hey your choice , just be aware thats all!

rock_show_host · 02-12-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOD'sTool

Love this answer!!!

Is it wrong no!
But is it "wise"Of course not ,Were spos'ed to conduct our selves as godly people.
I'd ask myself the age old question "WWJD"!
I personally dont agree with it But
If you think you can do it ,hey your choice , just be aware thats all!

Sleeping in the same room as a member of the opposite sex with no other activity is hardly out of line with conducting ourselves as godly people.

They're not even talking about sleeping in the same bed (which in and of itself wouldn't even be sinful, though far more dangerous), just in the same room and apart from each other. As long as they know each other and are confident that this will not pose a problem, I don't see how it's unwise.

*EDIT* I realized I was unclear on the initial post -- does this girl just sleep over in his room on occasion, or is she living there semi-permanently? The second scenario, while still not wrong per se, could be a bit more problematic.

mulletman · 02-12-2008, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOD'sTool

But is it "wise"Of course not ,Were spos'ed to conduct our selves as godly people.

Explain how it is not 'wise.' Explain how the second phrase is pertinant to this conversation. I'm only assuming that you're saying that sleeping in the same room as a member of the opposite sex is not godly. If so, provide a citation, or at least reasoning, for your statement.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOD'sTool

I'd ask myself the age old question "WWJD"!

What would Jesus do? Would he turn away the homeless for fear of sleeping in the same room as a woman?

Iceman-bass14 · 02-12-2008, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulletman

This is yet another topic with absolutely no correct answer.

Amen.

**beanbag** · 02-12-2008, 08:59 PM

this may not be the popular answer, but I tend to err on the side of avoiding any "appearance of evil." it's really unwise to share a room with someone of the opposite gender (same bed or not) if there are feelings of attraction, whether mutual or single-sided because that just puts you in a position of unnecessary temptation and struggle.

when it comes to sharing a room with someone who is not attractive to/attracted to you, it's not necessarily a situation of temptation and struggle, but you must consider how it affects your witness. in some cases, it might not be a bad idea. in other cases, it would be a really bad idea.

I have shared rooms with guys before, and it's really never an ideal situation. I could see some situations (I actually know some users on here who had to deal with this before marriage) where it's actually necessary, and both parties conduct themselves with the utmost righteousness before God throughout their situations. however...if it can be avoided, I would avoid it, personally.

I think the real question that should be asked is this: is having a girl stay in your brother's room against the dorm policy? because if it is...then it's definitely wrong to do so.

Decency · 02-12-2008, 09:31 PM

The Bible says to abstain from the appearance of evil. Before my bro was married and he and his fiance at the time, came up to our house one week. They we watching movies in his room late at night and they fell asleep on his bed on top of the covers. Nevertheless, I told my sis-in-law about how it doesn't look right even though I know they aren't doing anything. Still, them two behind closed doors on his bed. She understood.

This situation and mine are one in the same. I'd shy away from having a girl stay in my room as much as possible. Always leaves people asking the questions "What did they do in there" and so on.

rock_show_host · 02-12-2008, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decency

The Bible says to abstain from the appearance of evil. Before my bro was married and he and his fiance at the time, came up to our house one week. They we watching movies in his room late at night and they fell asleep on his bed on top of the covers. Nevertheless, I told my sis-in-law about how it doesn't look right even though I know they aren't doing anything. Still, them two behind closed doors on his bed. She understood.

This situation and mine are one in the same. I'd shy away from having a girl stay in my room as much as possible. Always leaves people asking the questions "What did they do in there" and so on.

You just said yourself that you knew they weren't doing anything remotely sinful. If your concern is with the appearance of evil and people asking questions, yet the only people who witnessed it were members of your family who understood that nothing wrong was happening, what was the problem? Why would it matter if it "doesn't look right" if the only people involved know the whole story?

**Rainer.** · 02-12-2008, 10:31 PM

I'd just have to go to this verse:

Proverbs 22:1
A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

It's not an inherently sinful act, not at all. However, even if nothing happened, it has the potential to look really bad on the outside. For that reason, I'd be really careful with it. Keeping up appearances isn't everything, of course, and there could be a perfectly logical reason that two might room together, but it just has the potential to do a lot of damage, so I'd stay away.

I think Sabrina is referencing the 1 Cor. 8 principle of not being a stumbling block to weaker brothers and sisters. Things that aren't inherently wrong can still do harm when we don't take into account how others perceive our actions.