The Silver Ring Thing

I Jam For God · 01-29-2008, 11:25 AM

hi everyone. As some of you probably know, im 14, and i went to an amazing event on saturday. its called the silver ring thing, and it is about sexual abstinence until marriage. It was extremely fun and i bought a ring and i also got a devotional book that came with it. i was just wondering who else on CGR has a silver ring promoting abstinence.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 01-29-2008, 02:14 PM

When I was your age I had a necklace that said "Worth Waiting For" in a ring around a heart. It came with a video and a card I was supposed to give my husband on our wedding night. I didn't find the card until we were going through all my boxes of stuff in my mom's garage, but he knew I had saved myself for him.

Iceman-bass14 · 01-29-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Jam For God

hi everyone. As some of you probably know, im 14, and i went to an amazing event on saturday. its called the silver ring thing, and it is about sexual abstinence until marriage. It was extremely fun and i bought a ring and i also got a devotional book that came with it. i was just wondering who else on CGR has a silver ring promoting abstinence.

I got just such a ring for christmas this year.Nothing fancy just a silver ring that says 'true love waits' but i know it will speak volumes to my wife on our wedding night.

tigerfan88 · 01-29-2008, 03:46 PM

I don't have one, but I'd like to get one to wear on my right ring finger.

**beanbag** · 01-29-2008, 05:47 PM

I have a plain silver band (it actually looks like a silver version of my mom's wedding band) that has "purity" etched into it.

it's not my first purity ring, but the one my parents bought me for my 18th birthday heck of looks like an engagement ring. I've been considering having it resized (it was always a little too big) and wearing it on my right ring finger. if I get married, I will return that ring to my dad on my wedding day. if I don't...I'll just wear it forever.

Karvid · 01-31-2008, 12:17 PM

I'm skeptical about the whole silver ring thing and purity rings. Yes, I believe that you should "save yourself for your future wife/husband, but having to show it to publicize it to others by wearing a ring is just a little... I don't know, it just doesn't seem right for some reason, but I know that some people find it reinforcing that they've made a promise and keep it by wearing a ring or necklace; it just seems a little too ostentatious to me.
And I'm not a girl, and girls might be more inclined to wearing those things...

**beanbag** · 01-31-2008, 12:33 PM

I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but speaking for myself...

I wear a ring because it makes clear to others that I am saving myself. It is also a measure of accountability. Plus, it protects me from unwanted advances (like the man in Egypt who tried to marry me...).

Married people wear wedding rings to show their commitment. As an unmarried person, I wear a ring to show my commitment to purity and following God. It's not to be flashy or ostentatious (which is why I don't wear the diamond one) but rather to show that I am not readily available and that I belong to Jesus.

*edit* whoa. I must really be in school mode. I can't remember capitalizing everything properly since...I joined! ha.

rock_show_host · 01-31-2008, 12:53 PM

I personally think they're tacky. But to each his/her own.

bobthecockroach · 01-31-2008, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karvid

I'm skeptical about the whole silver ring thing and purity rings. Yes, I believe that you should "save yourself for your future wife/husband, but having to show it to publicize it to others by wearing a ring is just a little... I don't know, it just doesn't seem right for some reason,

Um... why doesn't it seem right? You didn't make that very clear.

Iceman-bass14 · 01-31-2008, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karvid

I'm skeptical about the whole silver ring thing and purity rings. Yes, I believe that you should "save yourself for your future wife/husband, but having to show it to publicize it to others by wearing a ring is just a little... I don't know, it just doesn't seem right for some reason, but I know that some people find it reinforcing that they've made a promise and keep it by wearing a ring or necklace; it just seems a little too ostentatious to me.

Really?A plain silver ring is ostentatious?And a huge class ring isnt?And i dont feel that if you dont wear one then your not saving yourself for marriage but its just something to show others that im not doing that until marriage.

Quote:

And I'm not a girl, and girls might be more inclined to wearing those things...

Im a guy...

FastRedPonyCar · 01-31-2008, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karvid

I'm skeptical about the whole silver ring thing and purity rings. Yes, I believe that you should "save yourself for your future wife/husband, but having to show it to publicize it to others by wearing a ring is just a little... I don't know, it just doesn't seem right for some reason, but I know that some people find it reinforcing that they've made a promise and keep it by wearing a ring or necklace; it just seems a little too ostentatious to me.
And I'm not a girl, and girls might be more inclined to wearing those things...

I agree... seems like if anything, it'll be a way to tell guys "off limits" to potentially weed out the ones only interested in sex.

Other than that, I dont' see why one would need a piece of jewelry to help keep them abstinate. I need a visual reminder to go by the post office or grocery store for eggs... not to remind me to not accidentally have pre-marital sex on the way home from work.

And just so I'm clear, I'm married and had sex before marriage. I regret it after finally meeting the woman I married (who WAS a virgin when we were married) but no ring would have helped me back in my day. A stronger relationship with God and girlfriend who was conscious of abstinence WOULD have.

The urge to procreate is immense eventually with any couple (it's human nature) and given how my past relationships were before I met my wife, it was a huge struggle for both of us and it really pushed my wife near her limits of abstinence but prayer, her friends and me understanding her moral boundaries were what made abstinance for us a success. not a piece of jewelry. Don't turn to an inscription on a ring to remind you to stay pure. Turn to the Holy spirit in your own heart as it can be MUCH more persuasive!

bobthecockroach · 01-31-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastRedPonyCar

Other than that, I dont' see why one would need a piece of jewelry to help keep them abstinate. I need a visual reminder to go by the post office or grocery store for eggs... not to remind me to not accidentally have pre-marital sex on the way home from work.

Are you purposely being obtuse? The idea of a purity ring is quite clearly not supposed to serve simply the same function as a reminder to buy eggs. There's never going to be a way to have a good discussion here unless we approach people of the other position with respect and come to understand and appreciate their positions before responding.

Quote:

The urge to procreate is immense eventually with any couple (it's human nature) and given how my past relationships were before I met my wife, it was a huge struggle for both of us and it really pushed my wife near her limits of abstinence but prayer, her friends and me understanding her moral boundaries were what made abstinance for us a success. not a piece of jewelry. Don't turn to an inscription on a ring to remind you to stay pure. Turn to the Holy spirit in your own heart as it can be MUCH more persuasive!

I don't think the struggle for abstinence has anything to do with procreation.

**beanbag** · 01-31-2008, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastRedPonyCar

I agree... seems like if anything, it'll be a way to tell guys "off limits" to potentially weed out the ones only interested in sex.

and is there anything wrong with that?

I mean, the first and foremost reason I wear mine is because it's a commitment I've made to God. (it's kind of like how baptism isn't necessary for salvation, but you do it anyways because it's a public declaration of your commitment and decision to follow Christ.) however, it is a very helpful way to inform people without awkwardness that a. you are Christian, and b. you are committed to purity and aren't interested in casual sex. I hate to break it to you, but in case you haven't noticed our culture puts a lot of emphasis on casual hook-ups and one-night stands. if you have a ring on, you run less of a risk of even encountering those kinds of problems.

plus, they're good conversation starters. on the plane to San Francisco back from London, a bunch of us were talking about purity rings. later on, the guy across the way said, "you guys are a group of Christians?" and we asked him how he knew. he said that it was our talk of purity rings and Jesus that gave us away, and then told us he's Christian too. and then five minutes later, one of our girls realized he was her second cousin that she hadn't seen in three years. (true story, I promise.)

if nothing else, wearing a ring gives you a chance to give your testimony in a non-threatening way when someone asks you why you wear it.

I am not saying those who don't wear rings are bad (I didn't wear one till I was 18, and I stopped after about 7 months. I didn't purchase my current one til this past December.) or un-Christian or anything, but I am saying that those of us who do wear them have valid reasons for wearing them and I don't think we should be condescended to for choosing to do so.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 01-31-2008, 03:45 PM

To be honest, I hardly ever wore my necklace until I started dating Daniel. There were some days that I just wasn't feeling as strong in my commitment to sexual purity, and I knew I might need a reminder. So really, I wore it more for myself than anyone else. And it's not like I would be in the middle of make-outs, look down and see the necklace and stop. It was more just the act of putting it on in the morning that made me remember my commitment and reinforced it in my mind.

FastRedPonyCar · 01-31-2008, 04:53 PM

I guess I was just raised differently as a Christian. My wife is the same. Some of the things we see going on with the youth we teach at our church amazes my wife. Her and I were both raised pretty strictly as southern baptists. WE got a big earfull of "do nots" from our ministers. My youth minister was a guy in his late 50's who had no concept of what it meant to be a kid growing up in the 90's.

With our old youth minister at the church we teach at, he had this big wall of plamas with xboxes and playstations hooked up to it to try and entice new church members. I could see where he was coming from but the students exploited these things and it just didn't work like he thought it would.

He stepped down and a new guy came in, much younger and clearly more passionate about his work. The first sunday there, he saw the kids playing grand theft auto on one of the playstations and within 10 minutes, they were all locked in his office and the kids were standing around talking with each other as if nothing had just happened. It was brilliant. The youth ministry has grown geometrically in the short amount of time he's been there and it just shows that him being more in tune with that generation's habits and activities has really allowed him to connect and bond with the kids so much stronger than the old minister could have. The kids saw the other guy as an intimidating father figure that they were scared to approach to talk to about difficult situations in their lifes. The guy I teach with and myself have had several guys come up to us to talk candidly about isssues at school, relationships and with their parents that they were simply too intimidated and afraid of the youth minister to approach.

Also, things like jumping up and down and dancing during the music of the contemporary youth service on Wednesday nights were unheard of at my wife's church when she was growing up. At disciple now and other youth events, when the bands played songs and people would start doing that, they would purposely sit down to silently voice their disapproval. Personally, I see no problem with it as it seems like they have a great time with it but she sees it as a distraction keeping focus off God. We obviously share differing opinions on the issue and my point is that it's the same way here with these rings. Seems to me that they're a poor substitute (in most cases) of proper sex education... a practice that actually has evidence to support it's effectiveness. When I was growing up, our youth minister told us to abstain from sex "Becuase God says so". Now honestly... what in the world good is that going to do? Exactly. Not all situations regarding promise rings are like this but I know that in the past, I've heard it explained this way with no logical reasoning behind their statements. Explaining the dangers of STD's, unexpected pregnancies, high rates of birth defects for adolescent teen mothers, expenses of raising a child, etc... it seems like schools now totally ignore this. And I KNOW churches ignore it.

Just for fun though, I'll do a silent poll and survey with the 50 or so 16/17 year old girls my wife teaches on Sunday and see what they all think about it. I know I've never seen one on their hands nor heard of any of them ever mention them but it's worth a try.