The Silver Ring Thing

**The wirerat** · 01-31-2008, 09:17 PM

I know this is a little off topic, but I wear a medallion that has St. Michael on it. Although I am not Catholic, he is considered the Patron Saint for EMT's, Firefighters, and Police Officers. While I do not believe that I can pray to this guy and be protected, it means something to me. I think the same thing goes with purity rings. For some people, they mean something, a symbol of a promise to God of abstinence. For others, it means nothing. Its simply a personal choice, there is nothing right or wrong with it.

bobthecockroach · 02-01-2008, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastRedPonyCar

Seems to me that they're a poor substitute (in most cases) of proper sex education... a practice that actually has evidence to support it's effectiveness. When I was growing up, our youth minister told us to abstain from sex "Becuase God says so". Now honestly... what in the world good is that going to do? Exactly. Not all situations regarding promise rings are like this but I know that in the past, I've heard it explained this way with no logical reasoning behind their statements. Explaining the dangers of STD's, unexpected pregnancies, high rates of birth defects for adolescent teen mothers, expenses of raising a child, etc... it seems like schools now totally ignore this. And I KNOW churches ignore it.

I would agree with you that there is a general lack of proper sexual education, but you are doing the same thing I mentioned earlier. You are responding before fully understanding the people to whom you are responding. The original poster went to an event about abstinence. They didn't just stop in the store and buy a ring and put it on. It's quite likely that some of the very things you think aren't being talked about were talked about at this event. You don't know whether these rings are being used as a substitute for sexual education or not. I would guess they are not. If they are, however, I would agree there's a problem, but it has nothing to do with the rings. It's just, as you said, a general lack of proper sexual education.

Iceman-bass14 · 02-01-2008, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastRedPonyCar

Also, things like jumping up and down and dancing during the music of the contemporary youth service on Wednesday nights were unheard of at my wife's church when she was growing up. At disciple now and other youth events, when the bands played songs and people would start doing that, they would purposely sit down to silently voice their disapproval. Personally, I see no problem with it as it seems like they have a great time with it but she sees it as a distraction keeping focus off God. We obviously share differing opinions on the issue and my point is that it's the same way here with these rings. Seems to me that they're a poor substitute (in most cases) of proper sex education... a practice that actually has evidence to support it's effectiveness. When I was growing up, our youth minister told us to abstain from sex "Becuase God says so". Now honestly... what in the world good is that going to do? Exactly. Not all situations regarding promise rings are like this but I know that in the past, I've heard it explained this way with no logical reasoning behind their statements. Explaining the dangers of STD's, unexpected pregnancies, high rates of birth defects for adolescent teen mothers, expenses of raising a child, etc... it seems like schools now totally ignore this. And I KNOW churches ignore it.

Personally if God tells me not to do something....im gonna do my best to follow that.Isnt he our ultimate authority?

And i realize what your saying about sex-ed but as bob stated you seem to assume that all of us have no idea of the risk of sex before marriage.(When i was 13 at our D-Now weekend we had the girls stay in one house and the guys stay in another and both houses watched a video on stuff like that [i forget the ladies name but she goes around to high schools teaching about it]).Do i wear the ring because of the risks?Yes and no.I realize the risks but its more to show people that iam doing this because iam Gods and i love God.Yes thats not everyones style and if its not thats fine it doesnt mean your not saving yourself for marriage.This is just something im passionate about and want to do.

FastRedPonyCar · 02-01-2008, 08:40 AM

The churches I've visited and attended have had these types of ceremonies and out of probably 6 or 7 of these purity ring seminars, not one of them said anything about the personal, health and societal risks of pre-marital sex.

They did all do a great job of going in depth in the scripture regarding obedience to God quoting verse after verse about commiting themselves to His will but never did I ever hear anything about "real world" repercussions of the actions... how they will be viewed by their peers at school, their parents, their friend's parents, how it can lead to guys taking advantage of them, how their lives can be affected by unplanned teen pregnancy... all of these things that are so important, NEVER did I hear any of this mentioned... It's like they were just totally clueless! And the poor kids!

I felt the worst for the kids in the seminars that weren't Christians. How do they expect these non Christian kids to comprehend ideals and scripture that they haven't yet been taught or exposed to yet?? Why not discuss the dangers of the more damaging habits that can easily form if sexual purity is not maintained? There were no talks of how sex can be addictive and almost uncontrollable and how it can snowball into other bad habits such as drugs and drinking... It all goes hand in hand and lack of explanation of these very important and very real dangers to teens is why I have a problem with these seminars and rings.

I know that not all of them are the same... but so far, there's been a 100% disappointment rate at these seminars for me and I TRULY hope that it's not the same for these other people here on the forum. I really do. If they DO talk about these dangers, that's great and I applaud them but simply from my experience with them, they're ineffective becuase the children aren't properly educated on WHY the purity that the ring symbolizes is important other than "because it will make God happy and here are lots of bible verses talking about making God happy."

Now, one thing I do think is pretty cool is the promise rings that dad's give their daughters. A couple of the girls my wife teaches have these but according to the girls that wear them, they represent more of a respect of the parents' authority and obedience than towards that of God.

There's nothing wrong with that becuase I believe that sexual purity (if the child is taught to remain abstinate) is just as much a respect for the parents rules as it is for God's rules. (not trying to Belittle God's rules though) but you know what I mean.

**beanbag** · 02-01-2008, 01:37 PM

I personally don't see a difference between purity rings and promise rings; to me, they are the same thing under different names.

and I'm sorry that the conferences you (you being fastredponycar) attended were so sadly lacking in "real world" education about abstinence. my old church did a six-week session called LSD (Love, Sex & Dating) during jr. high. my mom kept me back in 7th grade, but I went in 8th grade. there was a married couple at our church who were a doctor and nurse, respectively, and worked in the field of ob/gyn and STDs. we got to see some lovely pictures of what STDs can look like if you develop them. our instruction was Biblically grounded and included a lot of Scripture about what God commands in terms of sexual purity, but it also had a LOT of medically-supported information and visual images.

I was one of the kids who signed a purity pledge. 8 years later, I still have it in my Bible, and 8 years later, I'm still holding to what I said I would when I was an 8th grader.

not all churches fail in their responsibility to present the whole picture when it comes to abstinence and medical support for abstinence. I'm sorry you had a sour experience, fastredponycar, but please don't take your experience and apply it to everyone else here and automatically assume that we're all uneducated about purity (and the representative jewelry) or that our churches did us wrong.

Karvid · 02-01-2008, 07:51 PM

Wow... sorry, I didn't mean to bring a whole argument about the idea of purity rings. I don't think they're bad or wrong at all, I just can't see myself wearing one, even though I strongly agree with the message.

Katze · 02-01-2008, 10:16 PM

I have one, but there's a different story behind it. Although I vaguely knew that sex was to be saved for marriage, my parents NEVER talked about it at all. I was homeschooled, didn't go to youth group, was generally over-sheltered, so I really had no idea about why kids wore purity rings. When I was 16, God totally changed my life, and I started to wear a purity ring as more of a promise to God than as a reminder. It was a choice that I had to come to all on my own, without the support of family or friends.
The one I had was cheap costume jewelry, and wore out within a year. Last August, I was in the Dullus airport, and I found a beautiful ring from a vendor there. It's a wide silver band, with a Christian fish engraved in it.

Currently, it's lost somewhere in my piles and piles of junk (I just moved), but I'll wear it again as soon as I find it. Someday, hopefully not too far out, I'll give it to a young man in exchange for my wedding ring.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 02-02-2008, 05:02 AM

I am really shocked by some of the attitudes in this thread. One thing gets me more than any other, why the heck does anyone assume that because someone wears a purity ring, they are naive about the dangers of premarital sex. To be honest, I grew up in an uber conservative church, homeschooled, and still knew all the lovely dangers of STDs, kids out of wedlock, and saw a girl in my youth group innocently die of AIDS. (Got it from a soccer coach when her compound fracture sliced his hand)

I never wore a ring till I got married, but my wife did. I wear it as a necklace sometimes. To be honest, she did have it as a reminder, and it helped her.

I know, biblically, obedience to parents is far eclipsed by obedience to God in importance. As a teen I certainly had no fear of my parents. I did however retain a fear of God. As you may know, they do not always correlate at all.

My parents were far from biblical in their approach to many things, and many parents' views are far from biblical.