I'm curious

**thesteve** · 01-11-2008, 12:04 AM

This is a great parallel Jon

Quote:

I'd draw the parallel to buying a house. Of course, God knows what house you'll be in, and there is a plan of where he wants you to be, there are indeed many houses that you could possibly be happy living in. So, while shopping for the house, you come up with very practical matters of what you want in a house, and there will be a list of houses that fit your criteria. Why you would pick one house over another may be on a complete whim, and you could be happy with either, but in the end, you'll go with one, and probably end up living there for a long time, making memories and personalizing your house until it indeed becomes your home.

because it's exactly like that.

soul-mates is silly. Love is action...love is a choice. When you say your wedding vows you are saying, in front of witnesses, "this is the person I will choose to love until death ends the relationship."

So if you met two people at the same time that could be a good fit, you go with one and eventually the memory of the other will go away and as time and action solidify your bonds of love you will say, "this is the person I was meant to love forever." In the end it doesn't matter who you fit with, just who you choose to love.

**Rainer.** · 01-11-2008, 12:16 AM

And Steve's married, by the way.

mikeboyette · 01-11-2008, 12:57 AM

I ve been married for 27yrs. It could be that there are more than one person who is compatible with you, but when you find someone, and the two of you enter into marriage and apply Gods rules for the union, that person can become your soulmate. I know that is the case for me. My wife is my soul mate. The main thing is to apply Gods law's in your life, and I believe He will bless the marriage. I believe there is a clear precedent for this in the scriptures.

**RK_lover** · 01-11-2008, 08:35 AM

Thanks alot guys, I think this takes care of my curiosity (on this subject). I'll leave the thread open in case someone has something else to add though.

adamkaboom · 01-11-2008, 09:26 AM

Kinda going back to the comment about predestination vs freewill... I'm not gonna get going on it fyi...

But I think that ultimately there may be many people compatible with you, that you could potentially marry... that there is one person that is meant for you; in the sense that God is all knowing and knows what is going to happen before it does. I don't believe in PD, but God knows what choices we are going to make before we make them, he knows our hearts. So I do believe that he can lead us to someone. Granted, we still have to make the choice to love them and to commit, but I think God can lead us to a "certain someone" that He has in mind. We have to tread careful on this subject because I don't want to put God in a box and say what he can and can't do.

Nate · 01-11-2008, 09:32 AM

I fully believe that God "works all things according to the counsel of His will" (Ephesians 1:11), and, thus, believe that there is one (if any, or possibly many if you remarry or if you were a looney polygamist like the OT folks) person "for you" out there.

I don't believe, however, that you have to search and question and stress about who it is. Predestination doesn't work like that; it doesn't require our input. That's kind of the point of it, after all. Whoever you end up marrying (if anyone) is the "person God has chose for you" by definition, because it literally couldn't have happened any other way.

What this means in practice is this: Make your decisions as best you can, and trust that God has the outcomes under control. Don't worry about whether a particular decision is going to ruin God's "plan for your life," because that simply isn't possible.

Note: I am married. I do believe my wife is my "soulmate." I do believe she is the "only one for me." That all said, we are most definitely not "extremely compatible" or anything that even comes close. Honestly, I think that was part of God's plan for us.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 01-13-2008, 04:41 PM

my wife and I are extremely compatible, but I will just say right now, I am not an easy husband to live with. I have some physical issues. I tend to struggle with my own past, and have a very quirky sense of humor and am someone who values loyalty and authenticity very highly. In short, I am not compatible with many women quite honestly. I am a good friend to a lot of people, but I know I would drive a lot of people up the wall with my silliness and somberness. I am both, sometimes at the same time. My sense of humor can be very dark, and sometimes scares people. I scare people accidentally routinely. I will say this, if my wife is not completely unique in her love for me and ability to enjoy my company from contemplations of kierkegaard, to dancing around the living room like a monkey for the heck of it to get a laugh.

**MtlMom** · 01-13-2008, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeboyette

I ve been married for 27yrs. It could be that there are more than one person who is compatible with you, but when you find someone, and the two of you enter into marriage and apply Gods rules for the union, that person can become your soulmate. I know that is the case for me. My wife is my soul mate. The main thing is to apply Gods law's in your life, and I believe He will bless the marriage. I believe there is a clear precedent for this in the scriptures.

Exactly. It is the commitment to God and to each other that makes two people soulmates.
(almost 30 years of marriage here).

**beanbag** · 01-13-2008, 05:12 PM

I think there are different kinds of soulmates. (upfront: yes, I'm single.)

personally, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and I believe in soul mates and I believe that there is (or perhaps is not) one specific man meant for me, and vice versa.

I do believe in soul mates outside of the realm of marriage though. before anyone freaks out on me, this is what I mean:

when I was a child, I heard my mother once describe my grandmother and me as "soul mates." she didn't mean what the term usually means, but instead meant what Anne Shirley referred to as "kindred spirits." I think that soul mates are formed when you connect with a person so deeply that it feels like your souls are intertwined and you just know in your heart of hearts that is a person who will profoundly affect your life. my grandmother was and remains one of my deepest soul mates. my best friend is another soul mate. I think this type of "soul mate" certainly can apply to healthy marriage, as well as it can to deep friendships.

Iceman-bass14 · 01-13-2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeboyette

I ve been married for 27yrs. It could be that there are more than one person who is compatible with you, but when you find someone, and the two of you enter into marriage and apply Gods rules for the union, that person can become your soulmate. I know that is the case for me. My wife is my soul mate. The main thing is to apply Gods law's in your life, and I believe He will bless the marriage. I believe there is a clear precedent for this in the scriptures.

So even if she does die (God forbid) you wouldnt remarry?

Andrew · 01-13-2008, 08:12 PM

I got married in October, so I am not as experienced as some of the others here. BUT, love is an action, not a chanced feeling. Sure, there are many people I might have married, other than my wife, and gotten along with just fine. BUT, I married Laura, and God has ordained our marriage. As a result, Laura is the ultimate in compatibility and union with me, because we chose each other. To me, that is the extent of what a "soul mate" is. Someone you chose to love.

mikeboyette · 01-14-2008, 01:52 AM

Quote:

So even if she does die (God forbid) you wouldnt remarry?

I doubt it, but honestly, I dont know. I have three grown daughters and four grandkids and another on the way(sofar), so my life is very full. But, If I did re-marry, I believe that God would bless that union, if we were to apply His rules concerning marriage. Keep in mind, as far as applying the teachings, it takes both partys for it to work. I can tell you that the mere thought of loosing her makes me cry.

Quote:

got married in October, so I am not as experienced as some of the others here. BUT, love is an action, not a chanced feeling. Sure, there are many people I might have married, other than my wife, and gotten along with just fine. BUT, I married Laura, and God has ordained our marriage. As a result, Laura is the ultimate in compatibility and union with me, because we chose each other. To me, that is the extent of what a "soul mate" is. Someone you chose to love.

Theres something kind of magical that happens over time. There a trust issue. Theres the shared experience of life that over time, creates a bonding between two people that is very deep. Your relationship, with the application of Gods rules and time, will grow into a union were two become one. Yes you make a decision, you pick a mate, as best you can, but, it doesnt have to stop there. Let grow.

j2_da_k · 01-14-2008, 04:34 AM

I personally think God knows exactly who He wants you to marry, and He will let you know if you are patient.

FastRedPonyCar · 01-31-2008, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RK_lover

But wouldn't it all be up to God anyway? If there's only one, then He would lead the two of you together, if you were "meant to be".

If you believe this, then yes. Personally, I think God did this for me. I thought that I had my ex figured out and that we would live happy ever after and I thought she was my soul mate, etc...

I was wrong. It was clearly not Gods intent for me to spend my life with her becuase he started tugging at my heart in that relationship and I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship to be in so I ended it.

Later on, I just happend to go visit a friend at a college football game and my wife was her little sister in her sorority. It was "love at first sight" pretty much. We just talked and talked and it started to rain so she went up with me to sit with my friends under an awning and her sister came and sat with us and I got to meet her and I never got her phone number or her last name but knew her sorority and first name and emailed her hoping I had the right girl (as there were a couple of girls with her first name in her sorority).

It was her and my email thanked her for her company and said where our friends would be hanging out tailgating before the next game and if she wanted to come say hey she could.. and she did and the rest is history.

I didn't specifically set out to find my soul mate. She just happened and she was able to totallly turn my life around. She completed me (corny I know but true). To me, that is what a soul mate is. Very different but very similar at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine how my life would be if I had never met her.

My advice to you would be to not try and focus on it so much. I was in my last relationship and it didn't work. If God has a girl for you (which I know he does), don't try and guess who it is or assume who it is. Whoever it is will happen and you'll "just know". Once you go through the good times and the bad, a soul mate will still be at your side stronger than ever. Don't think too hard about the predestination stuff... just live your life trusting God and let what happens, happen. you may not like some of the stuff that happens but always remember that it's ultimately part of God's plan. I didn't necessarily want to break up with my ex until I really realized that God just didn't want me with her. he had another.