How do I talk to my parents getting engaged? (uber long)

FastRedPonyCar · 02-01-2008, 08:20 AM

http://www.heraldmag.org/literature/chliv_9.htm

bobthecockroach · 02-01-2008, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastRedPonyCar

http://www.heraldmag.org/literature/chliv_9.htm

I stopped reading at: "And we have all witnessed the Civil Rights movement regarding equality for women in the work place, not to mention a general breakdown of the family unit due, in part, to many women choosing to pursue careers." Sorry, after sexism, there's just no recovery.

In any event, I'd much rather hear what you have to say than read something written by someone else. That's why I have CGR opened any time I'm online and only rarely read the news.

bobthecockroach · 02-01-2008, 08:35 AM

Alright, I went back and read it all the way to be fair (which, mind you, was difficult seeing as they couldn't be bothered to use an English translation of the Bible). Honestly, I'm not sure what bearing it has on the conversation at hand. It's almost entirely about the roles of the man and woman in a relationship, which has little or nothing to do with the current topic. What were you trying to say with this article?

FastRedPonyCar · 02-01-2008, 09:11 AM

It DOES have something to do with this. It has everything to do with this topic. It only re-enforces the idea that it's so much bigger of a commitment to the spouse than most young people realize.

This infatuation with the other person in the relationship is SO common in almost all relationships. I know it's been there in all of my relationships but any marriage I tried with any of the preivous relationships would have been met with certain failure simply because the two of us were unevenly yoked as the article described.

There is always SO much more to knowing a person, really KNOWING someone than most young couples realize. and it's just the tip of the iceberg. As I mentioned earlier, financial stablity, career stablity, LIFE stability... they're all so critical and almost never is a couple this young either in simply their age or their relationship with each other.

When I was 16, I thought I knew everything... I thought I had been there and saw it all and that there wouldn't be any more surprises in life that would have potentially destroyed a marriage if I were in one but I couldn't have been more wrong. There were so many difficult situations and relationship problems that I never saw coming I had to experience to make me as strong of a person as I am and these were critical for me to have the wisdom and insight to both handle them in my own life should they occur again but more importantly, I think, to be able to handle them in others lives... young students at our church, friends, relatives, etc.

when the 16/17 year olds I teach apprach me with problems, I take them VERY seriously becuase I remember how huge they were when I was their age and how I had few people to turn to, no mentors or peers who had any wisdom or insight to these problems. so when they approach me with these issues, it's something I get to teach them life lessons on so they don't have to learn them the hard way that I learned them... and I know I can't help all of them solve all of their problems but when they approach me, I meet the challenge with respect for the problem but also real honesty. That honest that's not sugar coated is what they thank me for above anything else. and although for most of them, it's shocking to hear at first, they all end up appreciating it and thanking me for it becuase it provides the clearest interpretation and insight without leaving anything to guessing.

If these two feel they should spend the rest of their lives together, that's outstanding and I'm happy for them but there's no reason to get married (or engaged) this soon. There's no expiration date on the relationship if they don't get married by a certain date.

I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with my wife 5 or 6 months into our relationship but I didn't rush out and buy a ring to prove it. I waited and we got to know each other. We gave the friendship and relationship the time that it needed to fully bloom and we gave each other time to become equally yoked before making a commitment. I waited until all of the major issues in our relationship and life circumstances were in place and situated before making the engagement becuase the engagement signifies that the two are equally yoked and ready to be wed.

Not having a full education, proper job that can pay for a child (since there has been no mention of one yet, I can only guess this is the scenario), and not having gone through the bad times with each other is what is wrong here.

this infatuation with each other is still what it is becuase there have been no major issues arise in the relationship yet and THATS when you find out if the relationship was made to last or not. Overcoming the problems in the relationship before marriage is what helps ironclad a couple and it usually takes more than 6 months before these types of problems occur because when the two are still totally head over heels with each other and "delusional", major problems and issues are often ignored and supressed and they can only remain this way for so long before they become big, potential relationship ending problems. That is the problem with "puppy love" in relationships this short and undeveloped and unevenly yoked. It's easy to become lulled into a false sense of security and THINK the yoke is even but when things start going wrong and the relationship is put to the test and you have to experience dealing with a problem and perhaps a different way the other in the relationship deals with the problem, that's when you really discover if it was meant to be or not and how even the yokes really are.