[Vespertine]

After my rant yesterday I went to bed and for some reason I felt a real peace. I think sometimes its important just to be upset or angry (as long as your not sinning) at whatever is frustrating you and then you come out of it feeling better. I definatly did. I spoke with my sister briefly who suggested I do something "crazy". It actually sounded like good advice so next chance I get I'll see what kind of crazy I can whip up.

Today I got up about 11 or so which made me very happy. Then I went with my mexican mum to take my mexican dad and brother to the airport because they were going to go spend the night in Los Angeles. My mexican dad is the president of the port authority here or something in Mazatlan which is a huge business so he has alot of money and has to travel alot. He is just going up for a meeting but is taking his son with him, no doubt they went first class.

After that I came home and helped my host mum make lunch then ate and went and watched telly and CGR'd for a while before I started a sermon. I also started a book which is like a goals/talents/career path kind of book which is really quite interesting. I'm hoping it will help guide my thinking as I continue figuring out where my degree will take me and career paths I have and how I can best serve God and do ministy through this.

After this I did my usual TV cocktail of Scrubs and Sienfeld back to back which was fantastic. Then I went running as usual with my host brother (the older one who isnt in LA) but I had arranged to meet my only christian friend who was keen for some excercise so we went running. It was great and we ended up going about 15km which was quite a run. I found it so encouraging and inspiring to finally talk with another christian after a long time. Anyway after that I came home and had sushi (praise Jesus) and here I am.

I'm feeling alot more inspired and in some ways refreshed after the whole thing over the last 2 days. Also I have a friend coming down from another city next weekend which I'm really looking foward to.

I've been thinking alot lately about healing and what the deal is with that. I started a thread in Theology about it which has some good responses. Its interesting that I've just arrived at 1 Corinthians 12 in my study of the book which gets into spiritual gifts. Funny how answers just seem to come sometimes.

I'm hoping that after such a long run today I'll be able to get up tomorrow but I'll definatly sleep well except for the fact I'm freaked out from one of those stupid look how cleaver I am I can make you stare at a screen and then go RAHHH and make you scared. Yeah I dont like those.

In closing, thank God for who He is and for teaching me to be thankful and that in my weakness He is strong.

Interesting how real such things can become.

[Vespertine]

Had a fantastic day yesterday. It was a Rotary fundraising thing that goes towards some charity... I cant actually remember which one. Anyway I spent the entire day helping serving carne asada which is basically just like chopped up steak in different styles. I spent a wonderful hour or so with a huge blade hacking steaks to bits which made me feel very manly and pretty awesome. After that I was covered in meat and sweat ect and then started making other stuff and just helping out until like 5pm. I was pretty tired afterwards and since a bunch of my friends were there we just hung out for a while.

After a while I went with 2 other guys to see Saw 4 but we got there like 20 minutes late and the theater was full so we had to sit up the front which meant that while trying to figure out the how many brutal deaths we had missed we also had to be staring up at a giant screen only several meters in front. Anyway I dont really like horror movies, even though Saw isnt really horror, but it wasn't too bad. Anyway I got home at like 10 and was really tired but didnt get to sleep until late so I didnt get up today until like 12. Thats basicallly the story of my life at the moment, trying to be tired enough at night so that I get to sleep early (before 1am) and as a result actually wake up or can get myself out of bed before like 9am the next day.

[bread man]

Man, I hate the Saw films. I love steak though.

[Vespertine]

Yeah it was pretty discusting. The streak on the other hand....

[Vespertine]

I was just having lunch and talking to my mexican mum who goes to me, "guess what? I saw I dead guy this morning" I was like and shes like yeah I was just walking along and there were all these people and I go to someone, "hey whats going on?" and she said "dead guy" and pointed to the dead guy. She mentioned that there were heaps of cops around and what I dont get is why they just leave the body there in broad daylight?? I mean I guess it has to stay there for investigation or something but at least they could close the area off...I mean its a body for goodness sake.

Then as she was telling the story she goes, yeah but its not the first time its happened. The last time I was walking at like 8am in the morning and a car drove by and shot a dude dead in front of everyone.

What kind of place is it normal to see people being shot at 8am on the main road where everyone is going for there morning walks?? I mean this isnt even like a dangerous city. I feel safe walking home at 3am in the morning along this main road.

Mexico is a great country....

Onto other news its 2pm and I'm still in my boxers which is a sign of a good day. I haven't done a whole lot today, just some study, watching House...enjoying the life. In an hour or so I'll offically start the day by showering, shaving and getting dressed to go to my 2 hours of music classses in the afternoon.

I saw A Mighty Heart again last night and enjoyed it the second time. I thought there would be more in it to see the second time after I left the first time feeling I had missed stuff but I didnt really. Anyway, worth a watch.

[Vespertine]

I've had a wonderful few days basically spent some time catching up with stuff thats come out on the screen this year. Yesterday afternoon I spent watching Dan in Real Life which I thought was a fantastic and fresh love story. It had a lot of good points around the theme of family. Then at night I watched some Scrubs, Seinfeld and half a new House episode.

This morning I watched Music and Lyrics which I also found really fantastic. I had wanted to see it ages ago and should of, but I decided not to after someone said it sucked. An interesting look into the music industry but more importantly a beautiful love story that hardly needed any romantic dialogue.

[natedawg5280]

I've actually seen a few movies lately myself, in theaters though. Gone Baby Gone was shockingly great. I want to see Dan In Real Life, but I need more money.

That is pretty freaky about the Mexican dead dude. A little creepy if you ask me.

What is your avatar of?

[Vespertine]

Tell me about it. People get shot here all the time though, not really here but in other cities. Dan In Real Life was definatly worth the money.

Its from the final scene of Vanilla Sky, another fantastic movie.

[Vespertine]

Last night I got home after 5 days at a Rotary conference. It was with 500 students from all over the world living in Mexico. It was a fantastic experiance and met heaps of new people. We arrived home at about 4am this morning since its a 16 hour bus ride between cities.

Because of that its now 3.45am and I'm not really in the mood for going to bed. I think I might just stay up all night and not sleep at all. Is that a bad thing? Someone once told me that if you dont sleep one night it takes a really long time for your body to totally get back into a decent pattern of sleeping.

Its too late to really write anything interesting.

[Vespertine]

I'm just devestaed to be honest. Yesterday I connect my iPod to my computer, recieve an error message so I quickly disconnect but apparently your computer CAN erase your ENTIRE 30GB iPod in just a few seconds. Thats right it only needs a quick look and you'll be left caught with your pants down, so to speak, looking at a white screen wondering what your going to do with yourself over the next 34 days that your almost as far as you could possibly be from your own iTunes.

Not a happy time here, officially going into mourning.

[natedawg5280]

I'll be praying for you...

[Vespertine]

Thanks man, appriciate it. May the Lord guide me through this difficult time.

[Vespertine]

I had a fantastic night last night. I wasn't really very keen on going out but all my friends were going and I felt that since my days here are running out I want to make the most of it. We were just going to go to a bar/disco but during the day we arranged to meet at an Egyptian Cafe before. We went at about 9pm or so and ordered Egyptian food I guess it was and coffe and sat around smoking Hookah's. It was the first time I'd smoked one but they were really nice. I also had a fantastic turkish coffe. We sat around for like 2 or 3 hours just chatting and smoking and drinking coffe, loved it.

Afterwards we went to the club where we had a reservation but we were there like 8 minutes late so apparently it was cancelled and they wanted us to pay so the others decided to go to another club but I really wasn't keen so I just went home about 12. I was happy I got to hang out and miss the part of the night I didn't want to do anyway so it was good.

Unfortunantly I didn't get to sleep until 5am because of a very loud party accross the road, they didn't have horses this time but it was so loud. The cops came at like 1am but they just got paid off and left without doing anything. We called the police all night but gave up cause they never came.

I've finished a 30 sermon series on 1st Corinthians and am going to do about 8 sermons from Mars Hill church Resurgance conference last year which I've already started then study 1 John and Ruth before going home. Looking foward to a solid month of bible study.

[Vespertine]

Really tired today. Last night I decided I would break my bad sleeping habbits and try get myself into a better pattern. I went to bed at 12 but didn't get to sleep until about 3am so I slept until about 9am and got myself up feeling really tired. Since 9am is like usually the time of my deepest sleeping it was really hard and I wasn't feeling the best. I ate a good breakfast which was good and something I dont often get to do. Then I went for a drive somewhere, came back and started another sermon. It was good but it was hard to concentrate because of my tiredness and I almost just gave up and went back to bed. The thing is if I do that, I wont be tired tonight and wont sleep until late and the plan is ruined. The idea is to be really tired about 10pm tonight and just be able to crash, sleep a normal 8 hours and get up at a good time.

Anyway about half way through my sermon and as I was taking notes I accidently flicked and my pen hit my phone and drew on it a bit. I hate stuff like this and it just really irritated me so I got up and tried to get it off using water then an old toothbrush but it jsut wouldnt go so get this. I took my swiss army knife and cut out the part that I had drawn on. Someone tell me I'm not crazy.

I think it was partly to do with being increibly tired but I'm kind of like that anyway, just really picky about stuff like that and I haaate it. Also I am a bit wierd....obviously.

Anyway after my sermon I went for a 7km run at like 1pm, hottest time of the day and even though its winter Mexico doesn't know what winter is so its like 30 degrees celsius during the day still. After that I went for a swim and the water was freezing so it was actually nice and I was all happy until something started eating my foot...I mean come on! only in Mexico do you go swimming and strange animals come and bite you on the foot. I cant wait to be home to a clean ocean where I can swim and surf without the fear of rubbish or unseen animals that bite you when your just trying to cool off.

Its now 3.10pm and so I've got about 6 or 7 hours before I sleep. I'm going to continue with another sermon, study some spanish, do some reading and when I start feeling tired again I'm walking down to the store to by a tall black coffee for only like 10 pesos.

[Vespertine]

Its funny, I got an awesome coffee and sat down for another hour and a half of teaching in the afternoon. I almost put a pen mark on my iPod which would have sucked cause I like my iPod and even though its been wiped of all its music I didn't want to have to cut bits off it. I did however mark my finger....thankfully it came off with a quick wipe.

Great teaching basically on the cross going into more detail on the doctorine of propitiaton and subsitutionary atonement. Took some time to explain the difference between propitiation and expiation. Trying to understand that after Gods wrath has passed over us through Jesus being the propitiation for our sins, we are still sinners and so we must understand the expiation and that our sins are atoned for and so the defilment of sin is cleansed through the act of christ dying on the cross.

My thinking has really been challenged over the past few days. I've also been looking at motives for living a holy life and I feel I have been convicted to honestly examen my motives for avoiding sin.

Another thing I've had to think about is my position on pre-destination, I don't want to become a reductionist and look at positions on limited/unlimited atonment over much much more important things. It just interests me and I have never taken the time to properly understand why I sway to "true" calvinism over other positions and what this means I actually believe.

Lately I've also been driven to become more knowledgable. After doing a study on spiritual gifts I started thinking about where I feel God has gifted me with natural gifts and what spiritual gift/s He has given me to use in ministy. Knowledge comes to mind because I love knowing, not for the sake of just knowing but for the sake of being able to teaching and helping others to understand. I think I may have some pride issues here to be totally honest but take that away and I still believe I have a true and somewhat godly desire to teach people the bible. The thing is that I would much prefer to just understand stuff, I have trouble sometimes reading a book, although I love books, over a long period of time because I get distracted mainly because I get really excited over learning new things and understanding biblical concepts better but sometimes it seems once that excitment passes I want to jump onto something else rather than pursue a particular issue, or book for that matter, to its entirety.

Don't get me wrong, I'm also a freak when it comes to having things nice and ordered and so I will hardly ever start reading a book and not finish it because I want to have it marked in my brain as DONE and an issue that I've covered, so even if I do finish books, I sometimes just read the parts that don't interest me more as obligation and so its kind of a waste of time.

I'm probably writing more than usual because I'm hyped up on coffee and little sleep but I do like writing my thoughts down, it helps me to order them more.