[Tmurrin]

hey thanks for reading. Look my and my g/f are having a hard time right now and i dont know how to adress it. See we are in a long distance relationship and we still really like each other alot. but its really starting to get me a little ticked cause we arent talking as much. And i feel like she puts alot more importance on talkin to her friends there where she is. And i told her and she said that she always puts her friends above her Bfs and thats fine i respect that cause alot of people forget about they're friends. but arent we still friends? i mean thats the point of a relationship to get to know someone alot more and get closer. And then she said she felt like she cant open up to me like she used to since we are dating she said its that way with all her bfs but that doesnt seem right to me either. Look i really like this girl maybe even love but im not sure how to handle this please any advice is great.

[Iceman-bass14]

Originally Posted by Tmurrin

hey thanks for reading. Look my and my g/f are having a hard time right now and i dont know how to adress it. See we are in a long distance relationship and we still really like each other alot. but its really starting to get me a little ticked cause we arent talking as much. And i feel like she puts alot more importance on talkin to her friends there where she is. And i told her and she said that she always puts her friends above her Bfs and thats fine i respect that cause alot of people forget about they're friends. but arent we still friends? i mean thats the point of a relationship to get to know someone alot more and get closer. And then she said she felt like she cant open up to me like she used to since we are dating she said its that way with all her bfs but that doesnt seem right to me either. Look i really like this girl maybe even love but im not sure how to handle this please any advice is great.

First off you have the wrong attitude going in.(at least this reads that way)It sounds like you think she should pay more attention to you.I mean first off i think long distance relationships are a bad idea.Its too much pressure to handle and besides the fact you dont see her on a regular basis.I mean right now i honestly think she should spend more time with her friends because theyre with her and you arent.I know it stinks but thats life.And i would find it difficult opening up to someone a long distance away even if it was my gf.(and maybe she just doesnt want you to worry about her problems since you cant do anything about them?)

[Tmurrin]

Originally Posted by Iceman-bass14

First off you have the wrong attitude going in.(at least this reads that way)It sounds like you think she should pay more attention to you.I mean first off i think long distance relationships are a bad idea.Its too much pressure to handle and besides the fact you dont see her on a regular basis.I mean right now i honestly think she should spend more time with her friends because theyre with her and you arent.I know it stinks but thats life.And i would find it difficult opening up to someone a long distance away even if it was my gf.(and maybe she just doesnt want you to worry about her problems since you cant do anything about them?)

thats what i think to that she needs to pay more attention to me which has made me think of ending it cause i talked to her about it but shes the same. And i know what you mean bout long distance relationships but i really think that we might be able to make it work. idk im really confused right now. And your right she should be spending more time with her friends but we still need to talk. We talk alot on msn and some on the phone but what i meant was that if her friend got on she would talk to her more. And right now i know this is mostly pointing to ending it but i dont wanna give up. Do i need to just tell her everything i mean she agrees that we dont talk as much and we need to talk more. Maybe i need to work more?

[DaGeek]

Man... Both of you are good at making difficult-to-read posts.

How old are you? Are you old enough and ready for a serious relationship? From observation and experience, at a younger age it's hugely difficult to have a serious relationship where you lean on the person and they lean on you. To me, it sounds like she isn't ready for a real, serious, intimate relationship right now. Honestly, in a serious relationship, both need to be eachother's numero uno. Your spouse/significant other should be your best friend, otherwise there can be quite a few problems (just look at all the marriages that don't work out because the two can't really stand eachother).

My advice: Talk to her about this like, but approach it in love and humility. The problem isn't always on their end, it could be something you're doing differently. Be open about it, but recognize that if you two can't communicate, unless you both learn how to, a real relationship just isn't possible. It may be that she just wants to be friends for now, and that's fine. Try not to force anything that she's not ready for .

That's just my two cents...

[Iceman-bass14]

Originally Posted by Tmurrin

thats what i think to that she needs to pay more attention to me which has made me think of ending it cause i talked to her about it but shes the same.

This sounds kinda selfish dude....remember love is patient,kind....you know the rest.Now im not saying your saying that you love her but if you do care for her you can be more understanding.

And i know what you mean bout long distance relationships but i really think that we might be able to make it work. idk im really confused right now. And your right she should be spending more time with her friends but we still need to talk. We talk alot on msn and some on the phone but what i meant was that if her friend got on she would talk to her more. And right now i know this is mostly pointing to ending it but i dont wanna give up. Do i need to just tell her everything i mean she agrees that we dont talk as much and we need to talk more. Maybe i need to work more?

It sounds like your telling her how you feel for the most part.I would say if she knows how you truly feel and you want more attention than yes it sounds like its headed no where.If you want more attention i'd suggest getting a gf that you see on a regular basis.(And i assume you know this but....)Dont be bitter if you break up.It sounds like ya'll have a good thing and it'd be a shame if it ends bitterly for either of you.

[Tmurrin]

thanks guys both of you are right. I wasnt tryin to sound selfish instead the opposite i really wanna be there for her like haha i really dont care if she asks me how im doing but i want to talk to her more and help her through things it did sound really selfish i just read it again. I have asked her like you said if its me. Theres a great chance it is and i know that the problem could be either side but she said shes not mad at me for anything. Maybe ill just have to see how this goes since we talked.

[Tmurrin]

i mean what i really want is a real reltaionship but maybe she isnt ready or maybe im not? i guess i just need to realy think and pray about it

[Tmurrin]

thanks alot guys for the help
i didnt mean to sound selfish at all. im sorry if i came across that way. I have just been feeling that im the one keeping the relationship alive. But maybe the problem is me i just need to relaly pray bout it