[4stringfreak]

Hi all. first post from my dorm!!! yay!

This question goes for dating as well as every day sorts of things.

let me begin by saying that Im a protestant, but I anmire Catholicism for it's beauty and guidance it gives people. I have nothing against my Catholic brothers and sisters.

BUT.....

ive never thought about this or even needed to until now. my question is : how does a Protestant interact with a Catholic and visa versa in areas of guy/girl relationships, as well as: how does one talk to someone from the other denomination without being offensive? My whole extended family is Roman Catholic from NY Bronx, but Ive never thought of our Theological conversations as anything other than Itilians talking, as theyre pron to do, alot.

if this makes no sense, just tell me how I can clarify..


-Phil

[tigerfan88]

Focus on the similarities maybe? Both denominations believe in the same Jesus and God. There are just smaller things they disagree on that separate them.

[Iceman-bass14]

I dont think i could date a catholic person.....thats just me.

[tht00]

Originally Posted by 4stringfreak

how does a Protestant interact with a Catholic and visa versa in areas of guy/girl relationships,

How would a Baptist interact with a Methodist? It'd be unrealistic to expect to 'date' within your denomination, and even then, there's going to be differences in belief and point of view.

Just the same, if you accept Catholicism as a valid Christian faith, I don't see a problem here.

Originally Posted by 4stringfreak

as well as: how does one talk to someone from the other denomination without being offensive?

Umm... I'm not quite sure what you're asking... Just be aware that there are differences in how you were taught and try to be open and learn about the other's viewpoint. Don't criticize -- learn.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by tht00

How would a Baptist interact with a Methodist? It'd be unrealistic to expect to 'date' within your denomination, and even then, there's going to be differences in belief and point of view.

Just the same, if you accept Catholicism as a valid Christian faith, I don't see a problem here.

I don't see how its unrealistic to expect to date someone from a denomination similar to your own. Obviously if you're just talking about going on a date, its not really an issue, but if you're talking about something more significant than that, then you have to think more long term. Long term a dating relationship can turn into marriage. Marriages generally yield children. I would hardly call a scenario ideal when a family is going back and fourth between two very different churches. It isn't ideal for a married couple to go to two different churches on Sunday morning.

Is there a verse which says you can't do it? Of course not. However, is it a wise thing to do? Relationships/marriages can be difficult enough to keep together without large theological differences.

[JerRocks2day]

I don't see how its unrealistic to expect to date someone from a denomination similar to your own. Obviously if you're just talking about going on a date, its not really an issue, but if you're talking about something more significant than that, then you have to think more long term. Long term a dating relationship can turn into marriage. Marriages generally yield children. I would hardly call a scenario ideal when a family is going back and fourth between two very different churches. It isn't ideal for a married couple to go to two different churches on Sunday morning.

Maybe they can work out a deal with each other by going to one church on Sunday, and next Sunday, go to the next.

Is there a verse which says you can't do it? Of course not. However, is it a wise thing to do? Relationships/marriages can be difficult enough to keep together without large theological differences.

Unless you're a Pentecostal marrying a Baptist, right?

[tht00]

Originally Posted by Sean

I don't see how its unrealistic to expect to date someone from a denomination similar to your own. Obviously if you're just talking about going on a date, its not really an issue, but if you're talking about something more significant than that, then you have to think more long term. Long term a dating relationship can turn into marriage. Marriages generally yield children. I would hardly call a scenario ideal when a family is going back and fourth between two very different churches. It isn't ideal for a married couple to go to two different churches on Sunday morning.

Yeah. I completely agree. You can't split a family like that.

I was more or less pointing out that issues like these can be compromised and resolved. Most people aren't dead-set in their denominational choice. Just like a lot of other things, it's something that needs discussed and worked out. If it can't be worked out, that's when the relationship needs re-evaluated -- and it's not that dissimilar from other life-topics that should be talked about either.

[Iceman-bass14]

Originally Posted by JerRocks2day

Maybe they can work out a deal with each other by going to one church on Sunday, and next Sunday, go to the next.

But if you have little kids i can imagine it would be very confusing for them going from one church to the next week by week.

[JerRocks2day]

But if you have little kids i can imagine it would be very confusing for them going from one church to the next week by week.

Unless they have an even number of kids and that the kids can swap back and forth each week.

Maybe it would too confusing.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by JerRocks2day

Maybe they can work out a deal with each other by going to one church on Sunday, and next Sunday, go to the next.

I wouldn't call that an ideal situation, and its difficult to be really connected to a church when you skip every other week.

Unless you're a Pentecostal marrying a Baptist, right?

Depends. A staunch oneness pentecostal and a staunch Reformed Baptist are going to run into problems.

Unless they have an even number of kids and that the kids can swap back and forth each week.

Maybe it would too confusing.

I certainly wouldn't call that an ideal situation.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by tht00

Yeah. I completely agree. You can't split a family like that.

I was more or less pointing out that issues like these can be compromised and resolved. Most people aren't dead-set in their denominational choice. Just like a lot of other things, it's something that needs discussed and worked out. If it can't be worked out, that's when the relationship needs re-evaluated -- and it's not that dissimilar from other life-topics that should be talked about either.

Definitely.

[tigerfan88]

As far as dating, I think you just need to be careful. You need to let the other person know what you expect, denomination-wise. There has to be some compromise. As long as you can agree on what a potential marriage might entail, plus how any possibly kids may be raised, then I think a Catholic/non-Catholic Christian relationship can work.

[SccHarpGirl]

As a Catholic girl I say that you should be careful. They can work but there can also be pretty deep rooted problems with such a relationship.

Don't try to actively convert one another. It's fine to read scripture together (in fact, it's a great idea!) and pray together, and talk about why you believe what you believe. But trying to push someone into believing the same way you do is a surefire way to inspire resentment and in fact entrench them further in their position. Don't ignore differences, but seek to enlighten and grow in your faith, not to prove that you are "right".

Be very, very clear about what you believe the positions for a man/woman in a relationship are. This is an issue I've seen come up in protestant/Catholic relationships. Protestants on average take the issue of male headship more literally than your average Catholic. As you can imagine this can get nasty if the one partner tries to be what he thinks is a good head of the relationship and the other feels stifiled/controlled (or vice versa - one wants the other to lead and be the "head" while the other is reluctant to do so). Just be clear up front about decisions and what you expect from one another (this is a good idea in any relationship but especially in a case where expectations might be different!)

Talk early about kids and what church,e tc. I knew a couple that dated for something crazy like 4 or 5 years, but broke up because she (a Catholic) wanted to be married in the Church, which requires you to promise to raise the children Catholic, and he (a Protestant) was not willing to do that. Taking children both to Mass and to services could work, I guess, but think about how you'll handle questions about conflicting teachings. It's a good idea to find out of there are going to be irreconcilible differences Before things get serious, rather than after where there are going to be serious broken hearts involved.

It definitely can work -- I've seen examples of very faithful, wonderful protestant/Catholic couples. Just understand what you're getting into and whether you can deal with it before diving headfirst

~Noelle~

[Rainer.]

Indeed, I agree 100% with Noelle.

You main issue here isn't going to be whether or not it's "alright" for a Protestant to date/marry a Catholic. It entirely depends on the two people involved, their beliefs and convictions, and how they view dating and relationships in general.

Now, combining Protestants and Catholics isn't going th necessarily be a bad thing, or something doomed to failure. However, getting into that sort of relationship causes a sticky situation right of the bat, and there will be a lot of issues that the couple would need to work out right away in terms of really finding out whether or not the relationship could be made to work.

It's workable, yes. This type of relationship can be rather volatile under stress, though, which is why in a situation such as that, there has to be a lot of serious dialogue and discussion and prayer that must occur.

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by 4stringfreak

ive never thought about this or even needed to until now. my question is : how does a Protestant interact with a Catholic and visa versa in areas of guy/girl relationships, as well as: how does one talk to someone from the other denomination without being offensive? My whole extended family is Roman Catholic from NY Bronx, but Ive never thought of our Theological conversations as anything other than Itilians talking, as theyre pron to do, alot.

if this makes no sense, just tell me how I can clarify..


-Phil

Are you asking how to talk to Catholics without offending them? Um... just don't say, "YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!" Honestly, I don't see much possibility of offense in normal everyday conversation. I don't think it's really something to worry that much about.

Now, on the question that is also being discussed here, whether Catholics and Protestants should date, I say no under almost all circumstances.