How long?

4Glory · 09-25-2007, 10:53 AM

Just from personal expereince, I was engaged (dated 3 years) and she broke it off.
That hurt
It took me a least 6 months to recover, another 6 to get my head and heart back in the right place for a relationship.

Be her friend, it's the best thing and it's really what she needs at the moment (and likely for a month or two) she's not ready for a relationship just yet (even if you are, or if you think she is) But being friends can have all the benifits she needs, none of the hurt or awkwardness of being in a formal relationshiop. Chances are, if you've been her friend in an appropriate way, she'll come to appreicate you more than other guys, and it would put you in for the first one in line for a relationship (when she's ready)
Just some thoughts...

Tmurrin · 09-26-2007, 05:42 PM

you also need to say was what they had serious, semi serious or just for "fun". You also need to look at why they broke up. Was it mutual or did he suddenly end it did she? and right now be a friend and even though you like her make sure that she is completly over the guy completly or you will just be a rebound

tht00 · 09-26-2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmurrin

you also need to say was what they had serious, semi serious or just for "fun". You also need to look at why they broke up. Was it mutual or did he suddenly end it did she?

I don't think he has the answers to any of those questions... and it's been covered that it'd be no good prying into this sort of thing. (And really, the answers to those questions really wouldn't change much.)

**The wirerat** · 09-27-2007, 10:01 AM

Like I said, I didn't push the issue. If they were together for 4 years, I'm not going to start asking those questions. Maybe if I'd known her for longer, but its only been a couple months since we met.
Right now, I'm just being a typical friendly co-worker. I'm trying to make sure that she doesn't now how I feel right now.

**The wirerat** · 10-04-2007, 12:04 AM

Today, I sat down and talked with her a little more. She's been really friendly, very nice, and she seems willing to talk, so we'll see whats going on. I just let her know that I enjoy talking to her. The feeling seems mutual.

**The wirerat** · 10-08-2007, 09:01 PM

Okay, so basically, we are both interested, she just wants time to heal. She said that she'll let me know. She doesn't want me to end up as a rebound guy so..... that's a good sign?

**DaGeek** · 10-08-2007, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The wirerat

Okay, so basically, we are both interested, she just wants time to heal. She said that she'll let me know. She doesn't want me to end up as a rebound guy so..... that's a good sign?

I'd take it as one, yes. It's good that she can recognize that she's not ready right now. However, continue to take it slowly if/when she starts to say she's ready. No need to rush these things

.

**Rainer.** · 10-08-2007, 09:25 PM

Just remember that you ought to keep her to her word for you not to end up the "rebound guy", if she starts moving closer, and you don't think she or you are ready, then be prepared to pull back. Best of luck, though.

**The wirerat** · 10-08-2007, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer.

Just remember that you ought to keep her to her word for you not to end up the "rebound guy", if she starts moving closer, and you don't think she or you are ready, then be prepared to pull back. Best of luck, though.

Yeah, I'm kinda on eggshells right now. Since this is my first real attempt at a relationship this way, I'm kinda nervous and I really don't want to mess up.

Katze · 10-09-2007, 08:44 AM

This has already been said several times, but I'll say it again. When in doubt, go slow. It's always easier to back off if you've proceeded slowly, and it's also easier to see potential problems that way, too.

Best of luck, and I'm praying for you.