[wjarmusch]

Originally Posted by passinthru

Saturday morning Guthrie asked me to marry him and I said yes. We're looking at around a year until we get married, date and country as yet to be determined.

I'm rather excited.

Wahoo! That's awesome. Congrats you guys.

[passinthru]

Originally Posted by Mara's Mom

Congratulations to you both! How soon will you be married? This is all so exciting!

Thanks We're going to have to wait about a year, date as yet to be determined because of the visa stuff. We would much rather get married and be able to stay together, rather than get married and spend a year apart from each other.

We just celebrated the marriage of two young people we simply adore, so I have marriage/weddings on the brain. It was such a significant event for our family that we've had many, many conversations about it, including reflecting on my own wedding eighteen years ago. I have a few words of advice if you don't mind. *smile*

I totally don't mind.

Attendants: I had one. My little sister was my maid of honor. Scott's brother-in-law was his best man. Not only did it keep expenses down, it made picture taking a breeze. It also cut down on the wedding "politics". I see wedding parties get really out of hand because once this person is asked, it only seems natural to ask this other person and on and on and on...

I hadn't stopped to think about all the politics - but you are so right.

Clothing: Suits are wonderful and are actually more of the current trend anyway. I would suggest that you do buy a dress for yourself rather than borrow one. You will have one wedding day and someday, even if for practical reasons you can't imagine it now, that dress will be meaningful to you. It doesn't need to be white, expensive or formal. Maybe just something a bit set apart from what you might normally wear.

I will keep that in mind. (and maybe do a little dress browsing every once in a while)

Reception: I think your BBQ/potluck idea sounds wonderful. Don't forget great music!

See this is the easy part for us. I had a cousin who did this and it worked out so well. Music is a definite must - we're considering setting music up on an MP3 player or laptop before hand with music we want played, sticking it on random and hooking it up to an amp and speaker set up.

Photographer: This is one area where I wish we'd been willing to spend some money. In hindsight, I would gladly give up something else so that we could have hired a professional. If you are going really informal with both the ceremony and the reception it may not be necessary to have a professional photographer there, but at least make sure you'll have a few friends/family there with digital cameras to capture the moment. And in that case, I would consider professional engagement photos of the two of you. Just something to think about. Make sure you check out Skeeter and Rachel's pics. They're around here somewhere and they are awesome.

We will have friends there with digital cameras to get pictures for us. See this whole engagement photos that I've read about on here - well here is the first place I've heard of that. It's not something that people really do where I come from. It sounds like a bit of a cool idea. I'm gonna mention it to Guthrie when he gets home from work tonight and see what he thinks.

Honeymoon: I am all for getting away, but there is also nothing wrong with just being at your first new home together. Quite frankly, you're really not going to care where you are as long as you're together. Especially after having a long-distance engagement. You could always start saving for a trip on your first anniversary or something.

Exactly. I like the way you think Mrs. D.

I admire your willingness to be practical, but do remember this is a once-in-a-lifetime event for you. It's OK to be a bit frivolous in some areas even if that means a bit more sacrifice in others. You are so right about it being about the marriage, not the wedding and I can see that is your heart. Just don't forget to make the day one that is set apart by including some things to make you feel special. You will not regret that in the long run. *smile*

In some ways it still seems a little unreal that we're actually going to be married. I was never one of those little girls who planned her wedding out - I didn't think I'd ever get married. But God had other plans.

We may also have a progressive wedding - by that I mean once the visa comes through, move us into the same country, get legally married with just our attendants present - and then have the actual ceremony with friends and family at a time that works. If I come to the US once my visa is granted we'll have 90 days to get married. Three months isn't bad - but for friends and family on my side to make plans and get there especially depending on what time of year it is, could prove interesting. It's an idea that we're tossing around.

No way! It's exciting and people want to share in it with you!

k *squee*

Originally Posted by leiarose

You sound much more "at peace" or at least a bit more hopeful about the whole process. *smile* I'm sure you'll make it through great if you just do a step at a time.

Good luck and best wishes on planning! Sounds like you have a good idea of what you want and you have plenty of time for particulars.

I am getting to a place of peace with it. There are moments when it feels like oh dear God what are we doing and how will it all work - and I tend to get a little frantic. Then I turn on some good music and take a bath with a good book - or hop online and chat with some of my girl friends back home and go, oh yeah, this is so worth it and it will all work out cause look at all the things that God has already put into place that seemed like they would never happen.

Yup, it's funny cause I seem to have this expectation of myself that I can plan this all out in a couple of days - and talking with Guthrie last night he reminded me that I don't have to have it all figured out yet, which is good. I just know that once I get back home, school will start up and I'll go back to working and leading worship. I have an offer for a second job if I want to take it. I've also been asked if I want to peer tutor at the college - and I know that I don't have time to do all of that - but I don't want to run myself ragged and school does come first. So the more rough plans that can be done now, the better. We can fine tune as we go.

Originally Posted by Praisey

Jase and I are so happy for you guys and we'll continue to pray for all of those immigration stuff which are very irritating and frustrating. I would recommend the fiancee visa, since it's faster to process than the spouse's visa (US). That will be like a walk in the park in terms of the paperwork because you have a lot of "proof" of your engagement (like pictures, letters, phone bills, IMs, emails etc. etc.) If G can't afford the financial sponsorship, he can always ask his parents as a guarantor or co-sponsor or a friend (in our case it was Jason's friend who acted as a co-sponsor).

See, as hard as I know that it was for you and Jase to end up together - it is so nice to know that I"m not the first one to have to do all of this immigration stuff and to have a friend who has done it, albeit with somewhat different circumstances.