[Opie]

Memphis, I knew your name
20 days later nothin seems the same
and I can't find those same streets we walked and walked upon
The soles of my shoes are riddled with holes
like a burned old flag or the condition of my soul
and the 220 bus takes me inside the city like the inside of the city must be growin old fast

I've seen a few things
I've walked a few miles
so hey, baby, baby
show me that smile
cuz I do think that whatever shines
seems to fade away
and I could use some company
as I go about my day to day...
I do think that the sun never sets
oh the sun never sets
well if it does...oh, it'll come around again
oh, you'll come around again

Louie, you were the king
the little blues licks, and the way that you sing
and I can play those notes with my eyes closed, mind closed
and I've heard an act or two
but none of those fakes do it like you do
so whaddya say you and me and me and you give em something to fake and something to do

and I'm high as a kite for the song that you sing
and this night, no this night won't end
and I'd walk all those miles for the love you bring
and tomorrow, we'll bring this town down again

[rock_show_host]

I love this. I don't have time for a detailed RC right now, but the concepts and symbols are really creative, and it's a nice mix of familiar and unusual phrases. The rhythms sound like they could make for an interesting vocal as well.

If I can make one minor suggestion -- maybe change "condition of my soul" to "state of my soul." Condition just seems like an awkwardly bulky word in the midst of that phrase. Just personal preference though, maybe it fits better with the melody. Either way, great song.

[Opie]

I struggled with the condition...but it did in fact gel with the melody better than I had hoped

[Nate]

I really really like the two verses. The chorus is alright, but could stand to be more concise, I think. Some of the lines just seem like filler.

Originally Posted by Opie

The soles of my shoes are riddled with holes
like a burned old flag or the condition of my soul

I'm also going to object to "condition of my soul," but for a different reason: grammar.

The way it reads now, you're saying that your soul's condition is riddled with holes, as in the condition itself is riddled with holes, not that your soul's condition is that it's riddled with holes. Does that make any sense? "Soul" is what, presumably, you're trying to make "riddled with holes" modify, but your construction does not match that intention. "Soul" needs to be the object of "like" (along with "flag") and not the object of the prepositional phrase "of."

I've seen a few things
I've walked a few miles
so hey, baby, baby
show me that smile
cuz I do think that whatever shines
seems to fade away
and I could use some company
as I go about my day to day...
I do think that the sun never sets
oh the sun never sets
well if it does...oh, it'll come around again
oh, you'll come around again

This seems like one quattrain too many to me. I think the first set of four lines would be my choice for dropping one out, but then you bring back the "walked a few miles" thing in the bridge, so I don't know. It just seems way too wordy to be a strong chorus, but I guess that could also depend on the style. Really, I'd probably just leave it at the last four lines and stop while you're ahead.

and I can play those notes with my eyes closed, mind closed

Best line of the song.

so whaddya say you and me and me and you give em something to fake and something to do

Haha... whenever I see "you and me and me and you," I can't help but think of "So happy toGETHERRRRRR!!" It's seems kind of like a cheeky construction, but who knows.

and this night, no this night won't end

This is kind of confusing... if the "sun never sets," then how is the "night" not going to end (let alone begin)?