My friend and cursing

saveferris1643 · 07-18-2007, 11:36 AM

This is about one of my best friends. He has been a Christian all his life, and he used to never curse or anything like that. But since we have gotten into highschool, he has begun to curse all the time just because he thinks it makes him look cooler. For instance, a couple months ago he wanted to see my new cellphone in study hall, but when he was looking at it, the teacher saw him and took it. Instead of saying sorry or my bad, all he said was "I feel like a d***" about 10 times, only i think because one of my non-christian friends was sitting right there. He has also begun saying what the hell and b**** all the time. It has even gotten to the point where some girls have come to me and asked me to talk to him about it. I have tried to confront him about it, and tell him it wasn't a good witness to curse and stuff, but he just snapped at me. How should I talk to him about this without him just shrugging it off and getting mad at me?

Cruelty*free · 07-18-2007, 11:52 AM

Well....there is alot of pier pressure and stuff and many things have influences that might not always be the best. I always tell my friends to stop cursing but they just ignore me and call someone else a b!t(h. I got tired of it..almost to the fact i didnt want to be around them anymore. Unfortunatley it started to rub of me *yikes*. I think that u shouldnt curse (if you do) just to give him good surroundings and an influence that says "Im cool and i dont need to curse". Even though idk if thats the best. You could right him a letter explaining his fault because maybe it'll be better than face to face. hmmmmmmm......

bobthecockroach · 07-18-2007, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saveferris1643

How should I talk to him about this without him just shrugging it off and getting mad at me?

You can't control his responses regardless how you talk to him about it.

It would seem the issue is not that you think he's being a bad witness (though you may think this is true), but that you and your friends are bothered by his cussing. This is what, if anything, you should tell him. You could say something like, "You know, it really bothers me and some of your other friends when you talk like that." How he responds is totally up to him. Personally, I don't think it's wrong to say "what the hell" or even "what the ****" for that matter. Words are words. Now, certainly, there are contexts in which saying such things may be inappropriate. In fact, it is possible that the context in which saying "what the ****" is inappropriate is EVERY context. However, that is another issue for another day. What I definitely DO have a problem with is cussing at other people. If your friend calls someone a b**** (in a non-joking way), you should talk to him about it. If he insists on his right to put people down with such harsh language, you should stop being his friend.

**Rainer.** · 07-18-2007, 12:16 PM

And also bear in mind that it could be a phase. I have many friends that went through, I suppose you would call it a potty-mouth phase. When he realizes that it's getting old, he may stop. Or you could just tell him that it's getting old, because it probably is.

I'm personally agreed with the above, I don't think it's wrong to use those words per se, it's just not polite.

passinthru · 07-18-2007, 02:17 PM

As someone who swears often herself, I've had friends come up to me and ask me to watch my language around them as it is offensive to them. So I do watch my language around a lot of people out of respect for them. personally I don't see the issue with cussing, but that is a debate for a different thread.

Just ask your friend to not cuss around you as it is offensive to you. As for others coming to you to ask him to stop, tell them that if it bothers them, they need to ask him to stop, not ask you to ask him to stop.

Gsus_Rawks · 07-18-2007, 02:28 PM

I am just getting over my phase of cussing right now, and what helped me most was simply being told that it is shallow and immature and that it doesn't make me look intelligent - along with some maturity and sensitivity to the people around me.

saveferris1643 · 07-18-2007, 03:14 PM

It doesn't really bother me that hes cursing it is mostly that he is just doing it to be cool and to fit in at a public school. I just need a way to show him that it doesn't make you any cooler.

passinthru · 07-18-2007, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saveferris1643

It doesn't really bother me that hes cursing it is mostly that he is just doing it to be cool and to fit in at a public school. I just need a way to show him that it doesn't make you any cooler.

Well if it isn't bothering you, then leave it be. He'll learn on his own that it doesn't make you cool.

Tmurrin · 07-18-2007, 09:26 PM

maybe hes not that concerned about being a witness right now i mean does he seem to be walking with God. Maybe ask him not to swere round you but then again if it doesnt bother you then i agree with passinthru let him go you tried