Guess what? I'm wearing a KILT!

leenieweenie · 07-23-2007, 12:04 AM

Some pics of my hair, sadly all of my "before" pics are on the other computer so I won't be able to post those. Oh well, you can still tell how awesome it is. The last one is me and my sister.

Edit: Pics are gone, because of the breach.

leenieweenie · 07-23-2007, 05:30 PM

Well, as stated in the prayer request forum, I was supposed to have an interview at K-Mart for a job, but they called today and said that they filled all of their positions. So I am still looking.

I am also thinking about moving to either Dallas Oregon or Phoenix Arizona. If I move to Dallas I would have to find a job, but if I move to Arizona I could get a job with my uncle as a computer tech. Still only thinking about it though, I am not really sure if I want to move or not. I think it would be good for me, a change of pace and scenery.

And my knees have been hurting pretty badly lately, I am not sure why. They don't normally hurt this bad unless there is some sort of enormous weather change about to happen, but fit doesn't seem like there is.

Edit: Oh and hey I got my song up in the songwriting forum, you can check it out here

glorify_theLord · 07-24-2007, 07:50 AM

Hey Brian!

Last post in your blog until a loooong time. Ill keep praying about your job issue. Take care and God bless!

Oh, I must applaud your new song. Its wonderful.

Rachel

leenieweenie · 07-25-2007, 01:48 PM

Well, I didn't sleep much last night. Due to the fact that I stayed up reading Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. Which I have to say was quite amazing. By far my favorite of all seven books.

I have got a load of stuff to do today.

Oh, and I figure I should say, I am going to be gone for a week in about two weeks. Going to kids camp as a counselor. I had a lot of fun last year annd at winter camp, I hope this year is just as cool.

leenieweenie · 07-26-2007, 11:31 PM

Today was a pretty cool, had a lot of work to do around the house. Building stuff, repairing stuff. My grandpa tried to kill me. I had to climb a ladder and hold something in place while he nailed it down. He hit me in the chest with the back end of the hammer, and did pierce the skin. It has given me one nasty looking bruise. Oh well. Tomorrow there is more work to be done. And it was oddly cool today. The last few weeks have been 100+ degrees, but today it only got to about 80. Hmm, it is supposed to go back up tomorrow though.

Oh plus, I HATE DIAL-UP INTERNET, seriously. We can't get any sort of dsl, or cable because we leave to far away from anything. We can't get satellite either because it is uber expensive, and there are too many trees anyways.

JesusFrEaK0077 · 07-27-2007, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leenieweenie

Oh plus, I HATE DIAL-UP INTERNET, seriously. We can't get any sort of dsl, or cable because we leave to far away from anything. We can't get satellite either because it is uber expensive, and there are too many trees anyways.

Lol, we used to have dial-up... It did suck, so I know how you feel. But my mom finally found a package that wasn't wayyy expensive, because we live in a small town about 30 miles away from anything...

leenieweenie · 07-27-2007, 09:41 PM

I don't even live in a small town. I live in the mountains 30 minutes away from a very small town...It is extremely lame!

Well, still looking into moving. Although some obstacles are in the way. But still working on it.

leenieweenie · 07-29-2007, 02:29 AM

Well, today I watched an old movie extravaganza, hosted by your's truly. I watched, "The Pagemaster", "The Little Mermaid", and "Mary Poppins". In that order. It was fantastic! Tomorrow night, er, tonight, I very well may continue this extravaganza with a few selections to be announced.

Other than that though my day was quite bland. Leading worship tomorrow, which means I have to play the piano, although I would rather be playing guitar. Oh well, we are also having a "singspiration" service tomorrow night. Mostly a bunch of older people getting together and singing gospel music, with some newer stuff mixed in. It will be cool mostly because on a few songs I get to play electric, and bust out with my mad self. I am seriously debating whether or not I should bust out a mad solo on stage and see what everyone has to say. Considering almost 99% of everyone there will be over sixty I doubt I will. Although it would be awesome.

Oooh, more news, two friends of mine from church and I are putting a band together. It is going to be awesome! Although so far I am the only one under 30 in it, unless the keyboard player gets his son to play some guitar. Still debating whether I will play bass or guitar. I would prefer the latter, but if we cannot get a bassist I will play. It depends on what happens I guess.

leenieweenie · 07-30-2007, 12:55 PM

I didn't get to continue my extravaganza but it's all good. Te singspiration service was pretty cool, I had a lot of fun. Today I get to do nothing, cuz I am lame.

leenieweenie · 08-01-2007, 02:52 AM

Well, I guess I am lonely again, for shame.

Anyway, I, for the first time in a great while, had some good sleep the other night, but now I cannot sleep again. I am seriously getting annoyed with not sleeping. I normally get from 3-4 hours a night. That's it. I really wish I could sleep. I have had problems sleeping for as long as I can remember but since about when I turned 17 it got incredibly worse. I can get as tired as all get out but I can't sleep. I have even gone nine nights in a row without sleep. That was a freaky experience, I started hallucinating. Not fun. The doctors can't figure out why, but they think it may have to do with my thyroid, or my heart arrhythmia. And, don't even get me started on the arrhythmia. I spent several months in and out of doctor's offices trying to figure out what it was. It is a very odd arrhythmia, instead of thump thump, thump thump. My heart goes thump thump thump, thu thump thump thump. Then it stops for a second or two. It beats in sets of three or four very rapidly and then quits for a bit like it got confused. Sorry about the rant, I am really tired.

In other news, I started working on a new song. It is going to rock. Still looking for a job, although I might have one lined up in Arizona. If it works out I will be moving there in a few weeks. Which will be awesome because I love Arizona.

leenieweenie · 08-02-2007, 04:46 AM

I have felt this way for a while now, and wrote this. Well, I more or less vomited out words. The main point of this however was to get it out in the open. It has been in my brain, but that is not enough. I needed to say it (or type it).

Just now I was sitting here lurking, like I normally do. However, this time I realized something while reading a different thread. I have become increasingly petty, and immature. I cannot recall when it started, all I know is that it has.

My contemptible attitude has caused me to be alone and destitute. I realize how estranged I am, and it depresses me. I have been foolish. Which is mildly amusing because many a person has told me how wise I am sometimes. My person has become an abandoned cellar: cold, dark, and empty. It frightens me. I do not wish to be this way. I lack companionship, and I desire, so much, to be loved by someone. I used to not be this way; there was a time when I was surrounded by loyal comrades. Now it seems as if I have deserted them, myself, and the world. The worst part being that I seem to have lost all desire to better myself, in this respect.

I pray to God, I read his word, ask him to help me out of this pit I have crawled into. It seems to have no effect. I stay awake at night longing for what I used to be. I weep endlessly in my mind. I wish that the enemy would relinquish his hold on me. I struggle in vain. I seek the Almighty with my entire being. This feeling will not abate, it's firm grip enslaves me still.

I realize how worthless I have become. I sit and accomplish nothing. This world has become meaningless to me. How hollow I have become! How empty and barren my heart is! This bleak void that is my soul! I look in the mirror and see nothing but a tenebrous shadow; a heartless shadow consuming me like fire. It's cold blue flame surrounds me, flowing from within, where there once was a kind, loving heart. Warm and beating it used to be.

I am a monster, lurking in shadows. Seeking and befriending no one. Sleek and cunning, I move avoiding whatever may threaten me. Hiding, I escape my own conscience. This time, however, it found me, and here I am facing my self. Looking at what I am now, horrified. My decrepit existence now scares me like nothing ever has. I told myself once I would not be this. I said I would not let loneliness take over my soul. It seem I have, and I don't know how to reverse it. The path I have chosen was wrong, and I can't seem to find the right one.

Oh Lord, please help me. Guide me through these troubled times. Aid my quest to reverse what I have done.

leenieweenie · 08-02-2007, 10:47 PM

Well, I have to say I had an amazing day! The thing I wrote last night no longer applies. As the day went on I spent a lot of time in serious prayer and study time. While I was doing this I just started to feel better. The weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It really started last night when I wrote the above post. At first I felt so aweful, and then decided that I was done, that is where the last few lines came from. It was me actually asking God for help. I have no one to thank except God for this either. I know it was Him that lifted me out of this.

I never thought it would happen so fast. I realized how wretched I was and then almost all at once (in the grand scheme of things) I felt better.

leenieweenie · 08-03-2007, 04:32 AM

It would seem, that I have been deserted. Since jesusfreak seems to have left me, and glorify_theLord is gone. Oh well.

After thinking, I realize that my aloneness and depression were my own doing. It was self induced, although subconsciously.

I leave for kids camp in a week and a half. That should be a lot of fun. I was a counselor last summer, and for winter camp. It was an absolute blast both times. Not only chillin with the kids, but after they went to bed us counsellors would go and chill until the wee hours of the morning playing awesome games, such as, extreme spoons, uno, all sorts of card games. Not to mention some of the friends I made. Although I have to admit, I am saddened. I will not be playing anything with the praise team. I was going to play drums because their usual drummer wasn't going to be able to go, but found out he can. I might be able to play guitar, but that is not likely.

leenieweenie · 08-04-2007, 03:45 PM

Chillin at a family friends right now. They have dsl! I actualy can stream video and such. It makes me happier than a hamster on a jelly filled wheel. I don't have to wait ten minutes for things to load!!

Anyways in other news, I am kinda hungry, I may just eat something. Other than that I really have no news. Lame

leenieweenie · 08-05-2007, 04:13 AM

9 posts in a row, without anyone else postinating...

Anyways, I can't sleep. I had a blast while I was gone Friday and Saturday. Played some basketball, played with my 5 year old "cousin" (not really my cousin, but thier family is just like family anyways.) Although I hurt my foot sometime playing basketball. I guess that is what I get for running around barefoot on concrete.

I leave for kids camp in a week, next Sunday right after church service. That should be fun, although I for sure don't get to play anything.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Until next time.