[guitarczar]

Lately, and I mean a lot lately, I have been writing creative essays. I have grown to love them and they have grown into my style. I haven't been posting as much on this forum though, because I wasn't sure if they would fit. This is the first essay that got me into that whole random-thought association process, and I have to say, one of my favorites. Let me know what you think.

----
----

I am writing to inspire you. Listen closely; I am not intimidated by an empty page. I am not scared of the void—I only know how to fill it up. Watch closely, I’ve chosen my font and my s p a c i n g for maximum effect. It would only be right of me to do so, it would only be wrong of me to not. So what’s on your mind? You wouldn’t think that would be the approach I would take. Writer to his audience, teacher to his student, tutor to his pupil…You’re suppose to sit there like some mass cattle and apply the words that are allotted to you. But really, who’s interested in that? Self-reflection tends to run the gamut from angry rock songs to angst-filled poetry, and the headaches tend to correspond from a dull ache behind the temples to a raging migraine. I don’t know. Maybe you’re not ready for it, maybe my ideas will be perfect but my delivery less than satisfactory. You know, you’ll never really see this…maybe I’m saying that for my own piece of mind, or maybe I’m trying to trick myself into taking the pressure off. Speaking of off, you’re never suppose to end a preposition with a sentence, or so things seem when stalks replaces trees and you’re left wondering when a breeze felt like a hurricane. Did you catch the reference? Did I put it into a solid mass or was it more like a ball of yarn, set to unravel from the moment it left my hand. Yo-yo, flo-jo’s and dirty ho’s, that’s what I’m about, you think that you can do better then open your mouth—I wonder when rap is still freestyle and when it’s boxed in with the same damn luggage that you take to every business conference—nothing but necessity and pragmatism. Does that apply to poems as well? Let me ramble off some iambic pentameter for you:

The genius sets his body on the couch,
He turns his follicles north his eyebrows south,
He’d like to write the things that life’s about,
If only he’d actually live the here and now!

Well, I have to admit, that was a little less unpleasant and more present than I expected, perhaps one could understand what I meant about the follicles, but if I have to question it than maybe it’d be better to rip it up, which would be the equivalent of throwing my laptop out the window. I write long. Sentences are varied. Very descriptive. Maybe too hard. Maybe it’s better to quit while you’re ahead, or at least while you scope out ‘ahead’ with a 100X optical telescope. It’s always easier when you’re on the grassy knoll and the president’s in the parade. Then you can pop one off like a pop can and you won’t have to stick around to pick up the mess. Hmm…if this has been inspiring, than my purpose hasn’t worked. Shoot…I think this is leaning less and less towards the left and more and more toward the middle…it’s better to be one thing or another, lukewarm, like Luke warming his hands by the fire—it isn’t enough. You see, what Luke doesn’t understand is that in a capitalistic society, fires in barrels are only useful when they’re coming out of a gun. Then you’re either the same caliber as your enemy or you’re not. Lord knows you want to be returning the favor. Maybe we can mix it up Dick Tracy style, with a techno-gadget watch that only spouts off insider reports from the CIA and serves as a dictation device. Well, maybe that would be nice. Did you notice the Republicans were left out of the race? I’d say they were at the pub, but I think they’re hoarding all their peanuts. Far as I’m concerned, you can f*** the lot of them and serve ‘em as a hot dish. My guess is that the right will be steak served over a light bed of oil and vinegar, and the left will be food stamps. Damn it if you can’t turn them in past midnight, when else is a junkie gonna get his fix? But if you think that’s going too far, maybe they should’ve thought twice before they bought a car-full of drugs and left them at the playground. Kids like to go up, and they’d be able to swing forever.

Damn, let me catch a breath. Let me catch your brain and see if it can still respond with its cognitive impulses…wait, you say this is all instinct. How animal of you…I bet you’re room is decorated with lion spreads and ‘gators from the Congo. So what if that’s not their natural environment? F*** sports, I despise them, and if Florida can take something untamable and cage it, then I can take something irrational and free it. Free it indeed, to be exactly what it needs. Sometimes we ignore the need, delegating it to want. I need to do my job, but I only want to live. S***, we need it the other way around, or I’m gonna hop a greyhound to Hibbing and hang out with Dylan till you cats get it all straight. Just cause I’ve lost weight doesn’t mean I’m sweating it out, and even if I am I’m writing more verses than you could with coke, cause the coke doesn’t appreciate you and I’m inclined to it. Well, what do you have to say for yourself? Are you done talking? I’d like to think that you’d think about this, but I wonder if there’s something amiss when I describe your eyes as glazed and you start looking for your monthly discount to Krispy Crème. S***, if you saw it coming and you still wolf down those dough-bombs like some animals eat their babies, then get out. Go purge yourself in St. Patrick’s and come out with some glow sticks that smell slightly like incense. I heard McDonald’s is paving way for an auditorium near you, now you can worship the Lord with your spirit and your size. Super? Put down that sugar-cake you fat ass.

[Ordinary Sarah]

I love this. I am really drawn to these kinds of essays, and I really think I should take your example and try writing some myself. I think you posted a link to your blog in another of these threads, and I really liked what you wrote there, as well. You're very clever, saying things in a way I hadn't really thought about before. I like that a lot.


Anyway, good job. I really look forward to reading more of the same from you in this forum!

[guitarczar]

Thanks, I appreciate it. I wonder if it's a product of living in the post-modern age...very scattered, random...I want you to be a little disoriented by the time you finish.

[+Donny]

I didn't feel so much disoriented as entirely blank... and insulted, without a clue as to why you're mad at me. If there was a point or direction to this, I lost it early on and by the time I got near the end, I just thought you were perturbed at the world in general.

Maybe I'm missing something, but I would think if you could tie the style together a bit more on the larger level to a discernable purpose, I could get into it. Right now it just feels like freestyle with thought association (the end of your first paragraph). You had some really good lines and some good links, but I don't get the point. Sort of like a musician playing scales or rudiments really fast; it's impressive, but I want to see you do something with it, because I'm sure you could given some time and fleshing out, and that would be much more memorable.

[guitarczar]

Originally Posted by +Donny

I didn't feel so much disoriented as entirely blank... and insulted, without a clue as to why you're mad at me. If there was a point or direction to this, I lost it early on and by the time I got near the end, I just thought you were perturbed at the world in general.

Maybe I'm missing something, but I would think if you could tie the style together a bit more on the larger level to a discernable purpose, I could get into it. Right now it just feels like freestyle with thought association (the end of your first paragraph). You had some really good lines and some good links, but I don't get the point. Sort of like a musician playing scales or rudiments really fast; it's impressive, but I want to see you do something with it, because I'm sure you could given some time and fleshing out, and that would be much more memorable.

Hmmm...I may go back and change it, but I don't know...the whole point of the piece was arrogance, i.e. you're going to be inspired, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not, it's just too damn good not to. In a way it's a subtle FU to the reader (not you guys, just theoretically speaking). But I do take your point in consideration. I've been writing a lot like this, and I've been thinking about how to connect it to larger themes (though my other ones aren't as offensive and maybe more 'redeeming' in that sense--though redemption wasn't my purpose here).

But the other major point is the experience, and that's why I didn't think a theme was as important, unless the theme is that there's no theme, just a crazy, f***ed-up world.

I'll have to post some more of my essays and see what you think. If your response is still the same, maybe it's just the style that you don't like. Or maybe the error lies on my end.

[+Donny]

Yeah, definitely toss some more stuff up; I like the fact that we're getting some stuff that isn't just poetry.

[guitarczar]

Originally Posted by +Donny

Yeah, definitely toss some more stuff up; I like the fact that we're getting some stuff that isn't just poetry.

Will do. I might have some up by tonight.

[Ordinary Sarah]

I got the impression that the individual you were addressing, and hence insulting, in a way, was the very person who wouldn't read this. Or at least early on it felt that way. It seemed like you were saying, "Hey, you're never going to read this because you won't take the time to appreciate anything good, but you really should read it because you need some inspiration, you lousy, ignorant whoever."

But towards the end it definitely took on more of a theme like what you said it was supposed to be. Either way... I guess I just really like those insulting, critical things about it. Haha. And I agree, I think it is a result of post modernity.