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Babylon.(RC)

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Old 06-27-2007, 08:53 PM   #1
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Babylon.(RC)
Verse 1:

Babylon!

A gravestone marks your life ambition
Live and die for position
Got to make your way to the head
What will it profit when you're dead?

Verse 2:

Babylon!

We're in a war, another fight
Gonna nuke someone tonight
Devastation - will the sun/Son rise again?
Indeed He has, but you turned your back on Him


Chorus:
Only you through Jesus Christ
Can change the outcome of your life
This world is damned,and in decay
But you don't have to go that way

*Edit* Made the chorus shorter.

Bridge:
Babylon the great, are world emulates
Hypocrisy, sodomy, murder and whores
Run for cover, lock your doors

Babylon!
Babylon!

Outro:
Our degenerate world has cast out God
Will you just follow? be one of the mob?
Run like lemmings to your ends
Time runs out when Christ descends





First song, tell me what you think. Any corrections/ideas very welcome. Supposed to be intense..UnderOath, Project 86 intense.

Last edited by monkeysmile; 09-26-2007 at 02:00 PM. Reason: Took out 2nd title.
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Old 06-27-2007, 09:52 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeysmile View Post
[bSupposed to be intense...[/b]UnderOath, Project 86 intense.
I got that feeling from this song. I like it. I do not listen to much Screamo stuff, but this has a good feeling to it.
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Old 06-27-2007, 10:10 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B429R View Post
I got that feeling from this song. I like it. I do not listen to much Screamo stuff, but this has a good feeling to it.
Cool. Thank you.
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Old 06-28-2007, 12:03 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeysmile View Post
Verse 1:

Babylon!

A gravestone marks your life ambition
Live and die for position
Got to make your way to the head
What will it profit when you're dead?
Dude, that's awesome. You made connections right here, and this is a great opener. One of the best I've heard in a while.
Quote:
Verse 2:

Babylon!

We're in a war, another fight
Gonna nuke someone tonight
Devastation - will the sun/Son rise again?
Indeed He has, but you turned your back on Him
Ah, clever wordplay in the second half, and I love the lines "We're in a war, another fight/Gonna nuke someone tonight"

Quote:
Chorus:
Only you through Jesus Christ
Can change the outcome of your life
Don't live your life in a daze
Blink your eyes, look through the haze
There's more to life than monetary gain
More to life than wars and pain
This world is damned, in decay
But you don't have to go that way
This is a lot of what's already been covered by Christian bands, but not too bad.
Quote:
Bridge:
Babylon the great, are world emulates
Hypocrisy, sodomy, murder and whores
Run for cover, lock your doors

Babylon!
Babylon!
Nice, intense bridge.
Quote:
Outro:
Our degenerate world has cast out God
Will you just follow? be one of the mob?
Run like lemmings to your ends
Time runs out when Christ descends
Nice, and the line about lemmings is just pure genius, IMO.

Good song, has its few weak points, but I like it. It's nice to read another hardcore/screamo song on here besides mine.
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Old 06-28-2007, 02:31 PM   #5
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Thanks for the critique.
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Old 06-28-2007, 10:33 PM   #6
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I admire you.
This song rawks!!!!! w00t w00t I really like it. Fantastic job
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Old 06-28-2007, 11:41 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruelty*free View Post
I admire you.
This song rawks!!!!! w00t w00t I really like it. Fantastic job

Thank you.
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