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P.A.G. (people against gravity)

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Old 06-19-2007, 12:04 PM   #1
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P.A.G. (people against gravity)
Have you ever wanted to play professional basketball, or hit a homerun at Yankee Stadium? I know I did. One day I asked myself "What's stopping me, besides a complete lack of talent, effort, and arms?" Then I realized the answer was simple: gravity. Those things would be easy if it wasn't for gravity holding me down all the time! Some people still ask "Why gravity?". Here's a quick list, off the top of my head, of atrocities committed by gravity.

Gravity is suspected in the murders of John F. Kennedy Jr., John Denver, and Sonny Bono.

Gravity is directly responsible for the crash of TWA Flight 800.

With malicious intent, gravity brought down a tower of logs onto Texas A&M students, killing twelve and injuring dozens.

It is estimated that gravity is responsible for 98% of all litter.

Gravity held down the cast and crew of Home Alone 3 long enough for the movie to be produced.

Once in ninth grade, friend and all around good guy Billy Miller tripped and scraped his knee. Many similar incidents have been reported

Charles Manson was and still is under the influence of gravity.

Ever spill a glass of milk? Blame gravity. That's what I do.

Gravity is responsible for Titanic - the ship and the movie.

OJ Simpson is usually blamed for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. What the government doesn't want you to know is that
OJ couldn't have done it without gravity.

Besides for Mussolini, one of Hitler's main allies was gravity, whom he counted on to keep his troops from flying into space.

99% of all thefts couldn't be committed unless the thief had gravity.

Gravity knows this, but refuses to let the rapists of the world float into space. You have to wonder - who is gravity working for?

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Old 06-19-2007, 12:06 PM   #2
Not never but now.
 
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:08 PM   #3
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Obey gravity... It's the LAW!
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:09 PM   #4
Not never but now.
 
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:30 PM   #5
A simple guy
 
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Gravity is for posers.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:35 PM   #6
Фантастика
 
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A world without friction gravity would be... dangerous.
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:34 PM   #7
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Well...
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:18 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RB+Gravity View Post
Well...
I'm against you.
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:20 PM   #9
A simple guy
 
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What's RB? Root Beer?
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:25 PM   #10
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Rotting bananas.
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:28 PM   #11
A simple guy
 
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Oh fun, a game!

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Old 06-19-2007, 05:04 PM   #12
Фантастика
 
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:31 PM   #13
the Anti-Chick
 
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Gravity is responsible for:

-keeping our atmosphere from disappating into space*
-keeping us from floating off of our planet and into space*
-keeping our planet together
-keeping all planets, stars, and galaxies together
-keeping the big bang from just being a spark

*(which would result in us exploding from the lack of pressure created by our atmosphere)
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:55 PM   #14
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Rubber Bands
Right.
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:27 AM   #15
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Gravity gets a bad rap. The Nigerians have done tons of research into it. It causes them wahallah
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