[wjarmusch]

Originally Posted by Cruelty*free

I dont agree with people that say you dont need one. When you feel you are ready then you are.

Huh? So if a ten year old feels she's ready for a boyfriend that means she is?

Especially if you find a godd christian girl then that's just perfect.

I know a TON of good christian girls. So theoretically I could date any of them if I wanted to. That's not the point. If you date the first nice christian girl you find I think you've missed the mark.

You could find them at church, school, concerts, fairs, etc.

Now this I agree with. You can find a lot of good christian friends pretty much anywhere. Christian events are good places to start. But, if you're going there to find a girlfriend/boyfriend you're there for the wrong reason.

[Sean]

Originally Posted by Cruelty*free

I dont agree with people that say you dont need one.

So you think people DO need a boyfriend/girlfriend at 16? I didn't have a girlfriend at 16. Was I missing my basic needs?

When you feel you are ready then you are.

Your basic guidelines for whether someone is ready to date boils down to "if it feels right, do it"? I'm sorry but I can't see any wisdom in telling people that they're ready to date if they feel they are regardless of their maturity, experiences, issues or poor judgment. Some people have the discernment to know whether they're ready to date or not. Other people are do not. I could easily look up statistics to show the percentages of Christian teenagers getting pregnent and having sex outside of wedlock. Clearly, they weren't ready to be dating even though they felt they were.

[tigerfan88]

Originally Posted by -[R]-ChurchPunk

Cruelty was wrong. Alright, let's go through her post, shall we?

I think perhaps Cruelty mis-worded what she meant. I don't think she meant that people need a boyfriend or girlfriend at 16, but rather that it works for some and doesn't work for others. Even if she meant what she said, she is entitled to an opinion, even if no one agrees with it.

I'm not saying her post was right. All I'm saying is that it IS possible for someone to be mature enough for a relationship at 16. I've seen it happen. To say that no one should ever date at 16 is to deny the successful relationships that begin at that age. Yes, it does work, but like I said, a lot of times it doesn't.

[Toadazzoffa]

My wife and I are doing this study on "Song of Soloman" which the presenter explains is the guide to love and lasting romantic relationships. There is so much great information on dating, courtship, self-restraint...

The main thing is respect. If you date someone you don't respect, it won't last (and vice versa - if she doesn't respect you...). I think most anything can be worked through as long as there is mutual respect.

One of the first things that really caught me off guard in the study was that he stated there is no "one soulmate" that will make your life complete. There are also alot of people out there who should never date and (eventually) get married (TRUE).

Oh, and here's a shocker, and I know it sounds old-fashioned (because the world is against this view), but you should date with intent to marry. Even on the dating level, it is a commitment. And believe me I've been on the flip side of what is normal and a woman did not want to commit, and that is a very frustrating relationship for someone who does want to commit.

Give it time. I'm 33, I got married at 30, and we're about to have my first child. Build a relationship on mutual faith, respect, common goals and interests (note faith first/interests last...), and you'll be able to have that 50th anniversery.

[-[R]-ChurchPunk]

Originally Posted by tigerfan88

Even if she meant what she said, she is entitled to an opinion, even if no one agree with it.

True, but I'm also entitled to tell her that her opinion is wrong. =)

[Sean]

Originally Posted by tigerfan88

Even if she meant what she said, she is entitled to an opinion, even if no one agree with it.

You'd probably have a real hard time defending that statement with scripture. Further, this is an advise forum. I'm more concerned with making sure good, sound, biblical advise is being given than checking to make sure everyone is getting to voice their opinion.

[tigerfan88]

Defending my statement with scripture that people are entitled to an opinion? I really don't see the point, however, if I had to, I could.

I'm not saying that dating at 16 is the ideal thing, because it's not. My only point has been that it can and does work for some. Not for everyone. And you definitely shouldn't go out specifically looking for someone. God kinda takes care of that for you. That applies not just to younger people, but to people who are older, too. But if God puts someone into your life when you're 16, why would you reject that because some people think you shouldn't begin a relationship at that age?

[Sean]

Originally Posted by tigerfan88

Defending my statement with scripture that people are entitled to an opinion? I really don't see the point, however, if I had to, I could.

Really? Can you give me a hint as to how you would attempt to do this?

[Cruelty*free]

Originally Posted by wjarmusch

Huh? So if a ten year old feels she's ready for a boyfriend that means she is?


I know a TON of good christian girls. So theoretically I could date any of them if I wanted to. That's not the point. If you date the first nice christian girl you find I think you've missed the mark.


Now this I agree with. You can find a lot of good christian friends pretty much anywhere. Christian events are good places to start. But, if you're going there to find a girlfriend/boyfriend you're there for the wrong reason.

I knew this was coming
I was referrring specifically to the 17 year old.
Meeting christian guy/girl I said that was perfect because maybe you guys have the same types of morals such as no sex before marraige etc.
Ditto

Originally Posted by Sean

So you think people DO need a boyfriend/girlfriend at 16? I didn't have a girlfriend at 16. Was I missing my basic needs?

Not neccesarily, as in saying 16 year olds have to have girlfriends/boyfriends. I was talkin in his case if he's mature enough and feels like he can find the right one then you shouldnt saying he shouldnt be having a girlfriend now.

[crazychu]

go on your myspace account, and find girls with "Christianity" under religions.

just kidding of course

[bobthecockroach]

Here's an idea: Let's talk about the topic instead of each other.

[Toadazzoffa]

I hope the JerRocks2day didn't just get tired of the bickering on his (hijaked) thread, and decide to go it on his own.

I pray for guidance, wisdom, and restraint, but most of all love.