[nbfan]

This is a friend of mine and me debating about whether or not super macaws can stand up to flying walruses. This is not copied and pasted from a stupid website, either. It is several e-mails between me (Josh) and my friend(Danny).

Josh:
You aren't [a walrus]. Just thought I'd say that. And even if you were, I would gore you with my enormous tusks.
Yup. Go run away now.

Danny:
where to begin...

ok, well first of all, I am definitely a walrus. And I don't recall having recently recapped this...but I am. And if I HAD recapped it, I would most likely not have remarked upon a subpar status but rather on my existence as a rather large walrus, with tusks certainly exceeding any you might possess. Which brings me to another point...You are not a walrus. Now I realize this may cause some emotional, psychological, physical or other form of damage, but I felt it best to just come out into the open and say it. You can neither be a walrus nor one of several other subspecies of sea-dwelling mammals. It's just a fact, that you just don't really have what it takes. And if you or your non-walrus friends try this again, PROW may be forced to gore you all. As it is for the good of the people to reduce dissent and opposition to Party foundations, we would regretfully but dutifully carry out this task with the glory of a pinniped in motion.

Josh:
Right...
First of all, I never said I am a walrus. I am in fact, a creature which is known as a macaw. Except that I am no ordinary macaw...I am a very highly evolved one. I have tusks that dwarf the largest and fattest of your kind. So, so far I have not taken any emotional, physical, or any other form of damage to my soul.

Danny:
hmm...I could be wrong here, but I would definitely not consider tusks on a large fruit-eating bird a valuable trait of evolution. First of all, as fruit-eating birds, you would naturally like to have large, wide beaks that could easily bend down and pick up large fruits such as macadamia nuts or walnuts or whatever you like. The addition of tusks would most certainly hinder capabilities to eat, since it would make it time-consuming, awkward, and frequently unsuccessful to pick up fruit. Due to this path of logic I deduce that you therefore must either be lying about having tusks, or you are in fact a sad specimen of macaw, having a trait sadly ill-adapted to eating, which is how many species survive. There is also a fact that the largest bird is easily dwarfed by even a small pinniped, while a full-grown bull walrus of even normal or average proportions would be astronomical in size and (as is commonly beleived in many highly reputable scientific communities) intelligence, making the mighty flying walruses in regard to even the highest and most noble macaw much the same as a human looking at an ant. They are often annoying, but can cause no serious rivalry.

Josh:
Considering the facts you have put up, I agree with you. However, as I have stated previously, I am not a standard macaw. In fact, I am form of macaw known as Ara militaris, but much larger, as well as a lack of an herbivore diet, in addition to a size that is comparable to Petronas towers. The generally accepted reason for my being a much more supernatural version of the Ara militaris is this: I am just awesome that way. On the other hand, Odobenus rosmarus is a fat, slow, semi-aquatic mammal that stands no chance against it's predator, which is myself. Eye problems for the walrus are common and they sometimes experience intestinal disease. They sometimes get tusk infections, and in captivity are prone to ingesting foreign objects. Also various common fungi and bacteria sometimes cause infections.

Danny:
Many American families commonly keep tropical birds in cages for amusement. How many people do you know keeping walruses in cages for amusement? Walrus hide is armor, not the strongest mere beak could penetrate it

Josh:
a) Ara militaris is no caged bird.
b) My family keeps several walruses in a cage
c) You fail to remember that I have tusks in addition to my beak, and that I am comparable in size to the Petronas Towers.
-Josh, the dude who just pwn3d the fat walrus.

Danny:
Lies. slander. other words. philistine. i have to go. i'll call you more words later. walruses pwn you. now leave...or i shall taunt you a second time.


All he does is introduce red herrings. I actually debate. So therefore, macaws are superior.

[Adam K]

I am teh walrus.

[mtlmouth]

Sorry. The walrus wins.

[nbfan]

Originally Posted by mtlmouth

Sorry. The walrus wins.

You have no say. You're the devil, remember?

[Skeeter]

Nuts are not fruit.

[nbfan]

Originally Posted by Skeeter

Nuts are not fruit.

That's what I was thinking.