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Old 05-10-2007, 06:39 AM   #1
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Theological Classes
This is a thread for my paper that I wrote for my English Class. Please feel free to give comments, concerns, etc. on the paper. Thanks

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Old 05-10-2007, 08:27 AM   #2
so much
 
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First thought after reading the first sentence: Are you really talking about "theological" classes?
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"(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or
recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.
Texas Constitution, Article I, Section 32"
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Old 05-10-2007, 08:30 AM   #3
so much
 
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What grade is this for?
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"(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or
recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.
Texas Constitution, Article I, Section 32"
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:26 AM   #4
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sophomore Honors (Pre AP) English
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:33 AM   #5
so much
 
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For a sophomore paper, it's pretty decent. I would cite your sources. Otherwise, your grammar and style of writing is appropriate for a sophomore, though I hope it gets better before you graduate. It's significantly better than many of the college freshman and sophomore papers I graded in my TA assignment this semester, but that's, unfortunately, not saying a lot.
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"(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or
recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.
Texas Constitution, Article I, Section 32"
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:37 AM   #6
so much
 
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I would, however, cut out the last half of your last paragraph (starting with "The Bible is a book..."). That sentence is clumsy as all get-out and adds absolutely nothing to your summarizing paragraph. Just end the paper with the sentence that precedes that one (though I think you should add / substitute "society" to / for "religion", since that's basically what you said you would argue in your first paragraph).
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"(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or
recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.
Texas Constitution, Article I, Section 32"
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:42 PM   #7
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I already told you what I thought. (Being as I'm the one that edited it in class...)
I agree with Nate as well about the last paragraph. It is sort of...rambling almost.
And don't use "so" so much.
=P
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Old 05-10-2007, 02:21 PM   #8
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*editing my paper*
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Old 05-10-2007, 08:59 PM   #9
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good. it deserves an A mark
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Old 05-10-2007, 09:25 PM   #10
so much
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zcherry15 View Post
good. it deserves an A mark
No... it's not an A, certainly not for an honors class... not as it is right now, anyway.
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"(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or
recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.
Texas Constitution, Article I, Section 32"
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Old 05-10-2007, 09:31 PM   #11
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I agree.
And when you print your final copy, make sure you can read all the words.
>.<
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