what would you do?

cngp90 · 05-02-2007, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acrossthesirion

Maybe it's the same girl...

To the OP:
I would definitely suggest, like the others have, not telling her over email. It may seem easier that way, and thus, more tempting, but it's very impersonal. I wouldn't recommend using the phone either. If you're going to do this, find a way to talk to her personally. How old are both of you?

Yeah, I think it probly wouldn't be very smart to do it over email.
were both 17. about 1 month apart

acrossthesirion · 05-02-2007, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by headbanger13

Yeah, I don't think it's the same girl, seein's how cngp90's in Cali, and I'm in AZ.
Anyway, I actually told my gf I liked her over email, and we have the best relationship ever. I think in general, it's a bad idea, though.

Good example of how I may be completely wrong. This is just me though, when I'm talking to someone about important issues I like to be able to see them, especially expressions and body language, I think it helps. But that is also just me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cngp90

Yeah, I think it probly wouldn't be very smart to do it over email.
were both 17. about 1 month apart

Like I said above, I can only give you what I've experienced, but you'll have to decide whether or not you two could handle this through email, but I wouldn't suggest it.

AudioACanuck · 05-03-2007, 06:01 AM

Ya email seems so impersonal, and it takes so much time. She might get your email hours after you sent it, and you'll be waiting around, has he got it yet? is he sending me a reply? whats her answer? Kinda a situation I wouldn't want to put myself in lol.

In person is probably the best, if it is ever at all possible. A few times me and my family drove 3 hours to visit relatives and then left the same day, 4 hours isn't that much longer.

If you have webcams and a mike it could work, it's more personal than a phone, you can actually see each other and talk.
In the end you gotta do what you think would be the best.

cngp90 · 05-03-2007, 09:25 PM

Well thank you all very much for your input. Its helped me out.

i think i have a plan now: PRAY (as i already have been), start calling her, let her really get to know me and trust me as a Christian brother/friend, try to go and visit her as often as i can, tell her my feelings in person if i feel god is leading me to.

Is that right?

Thank yall again, im really thankful to be able to get advice from christian brothers and sisters.
gracias y dios te bendiga.

upperground · 05-04-2007, 10:45 AM

de nada hermano, no piense nada es nuestro placer ayudarle.

Guitaress · 05-04-2007, 06:15 PM

Well, me bein a girl, if a guy liked me, and lived so far away, I'd love for him to come visit me somewhere,sit down with me and talk to me about how he feels.

Gods*Armygirl · 05-04-2007, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitaress

Well, me bein a girl, if a guy liked me, and lived so far away, I'd love for him to come visit me somewhere,sit down with me and talk to me about how he feels.

Agreed. I would rather know than not know.

cngp90 · 05-04-2007, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitaress

Well, me bein a girl, if a guy liked me, and lived so far away, I'd love for him to come visit me somewhere,sit down with me and talk to me about how he feels.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gods*Armygirl

Agreed. I would rather know than not know.

Even if you were a 'sexist' sort of person that didn't trust guys a whole lot?

Gods*Armygirl · 05-04-2007, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cngp90

Even if you were a 'sexist' sort of person that didn't trust guys a whole lot?

Oh, sorry, I was getting off subject a little. Your right, I understand why it would be hard because of the fact that she is a "sexist" but if she got to really know a guy well, and learn to trust him, then she might think differently (about that guy anyways), so just get to really know her, and get her to really know you, and then take it from there.

b_hoves · 05-04-2007, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cngp90

Even if you were a 'sexist' sort of person that didn't trust guys a whole lot?

If she trust you enough to tell you this, and knows you well enough to know that you're not going to take advantage of the things she has disclosed to you (at least I hope your not going too), then I don't see a problem with you telling her how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.

Like others have said, talk to her in the most personal way you can (e.g. phone is more personal then email etcetera). The more she shares with you in these conversations the more she will be reaching out to you (because emails, and SMS more so, can be impersonal and detached), and the more chance that she shares your feelings.

You don’t have to rush into anything, you don’t have to ask her out tomorrow, if baby steps are all you feel comfortable with then just take baby steps. But sometimes blind leaps of faith can be exactly what is needed and what separates you from the rest of the crowd that has made her so jagged towards all the males around her.

cngp90 · 05-04-2007, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b_hoves

If she trust you enough to tell you this, and knows you well enough to know that you're not going to take advantage of the things she has disclosed to you (at least I hope your not going too), then I don't see a problem with you telling her how you feel. Honesty is the best policy.

Like others have said, talk to her in the most personal way you can (e.g. phone is more personal then email etcetera). The more she shares with you in these conversations the more she will be reaching out to you (because emails, and SMS more so, can be impersonal and detached), and the more chance that she shares your feelings.

You don’t have to rush into anything, you don’t have to ask her out tomorrow, if baby steps are all you feel comfortable with then just take baby steps. But sometimes blind leaps of faith can be exactly what is needed and what separates you from the rest of the crowd that has made her so jagged towards all the males around her.

What do you mean by 'blind leaps of faith'?

b_hoves · 05-04-2007, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cngp90

What do you mean by 'blind leaps of faith'?

Doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone e.g. organise to meet her sometime soon. You could even do it before you know if she likes you or not, plus it would be a good chance to tell her that you like her if you haven’t already by that time. I’m sure you’d have other friends in your old home town that you would like to catch up with as well, so head on down/up the next time you get a chance.

I moved 2.75-3 hours drive away from where I grew up and go down at least once or twice every two months to see friends, girlfriend and even ex-girlfriends. I even have a mate whose girlfriend is 8-10 hours drive away, he gets to see her as much as he can, anyway he can: car, bus, train or plane.