[domnastics]

I'm currently engaged and we're thinking about what to do for birth control once we get married. Make no mistake, not until we're married. But we've heard that with some medications she would need to start taking it a few months before it could take effect and then visit the doctor even before that.

Anyway, we don't know really what everything is about or the pros and cons of the different options. Also, we would like to know the Biblical perspective on this. If you have some personal experience on this or know a good website with some good info I would really appreciate it. PM me if you like.

Thanks

[Ax]

Originally Posted by domnastics

I'm currently engaged and we're thinking about what to do for birth control once we get married. Make no mistake, not until we're married. But we've heard that with some medications she would need to start taking it a few months before it could take effect and then visit the doctor even before that.

Anyway, we don't know really what everything is about or the pros and cons of the different options. Also, we would like to know the Biblical perspective on this. If you have some personal experience on this or know a good website with some good info I would really appreciate it. PM me if you like.

Thanks

Months? No... It all really depends when you start it... it's best to start at the beginning of a cycle... then most become effective that day...

There are Injections (not to be taken longer than 6 months or it could cause adverse health effects...)

Implants (capsules in arm... can last up to 5 years and can be removed at any time... however... if you remove it early, it will still affect the woman for 9 to 18 months...)

Pills (have to be taken at the same time every day... cannot miss one dosage.)

Patch (there was one and it was recalled I think there's a new one out)

Rings (have a slightly higher risk of failure but can be removed quickly... also the nuvaring has some side affects and can become dislodged easily).

As for the Biblical nature I'm sure somebody is gonna bring up Onan and here's my interpretation of that situation:

God killed Onan because Onan refused to do the honorable thing and have a child with the wife of his dead brother because the child would be considered ER's and not his.

Some see it as he refused to impregnate her and was killed for "spilling his seed on the ground"...

That is the strongest argument that I can think of Biblically against birth control... It doesn't float with me... So in my mind... have a kid when you're ready... God gave us sex to enjoy not just for procreation and if you're not financially stable enough for a child, then don't have one.

[KFBobInsanesMom]

Originally Posted by AXguitar

Months? No... It all really depends when you start it... it's best to start at the beginning of a cycle... then most become effective that day...


That is the strongest argument that I can think of Biblically against birth control... It doesn't float with me... So in my mind... have a kid when you're ready... God gave us sex to enjoy not just for procreation and if you're not financially stable enough for a child, then don't have one.

Afraid that is not quite accurate information. Assuming you are talking of the pill, it does not become effective the first day but must be taken for at least a month prior to being effective.

I also disagree that the strongest argument against birth control is Onan. I believe the strongest argument against birth control is the fact that God clearly tells us that children are blessings and gifts that He gives. It seems to me that one should want God's blessings and gifts, not take an active part to try to prevent them. God is far wiser than us and I am absolutely sure that He knows better than us when we are "ready" for a child. None of us knows what tomorrow holds. All our "preparation" and "readiness" could go out the window overnight. Trust God instead of man is the best advice I can give about this issue.

[thesteve]

is there some reason you're limited using prescribed/hormonal birth control?

[domnastics]

Originally Posted by thesteve

is there some reason you're limited using prescribed/hormonal birth control?

If that question is for me than the answer is No. I would like your insight on every option.

[nate95366]

It seems like you are mainly considering hormonal options (versions of "the pill"). This is very common. There can be side-effects, but they are not so common. Women who smoke are never encouraged to take any version of "the pill" that I'm aware of, though, because of cardiovascular risks. You should also know that with most versions, the pill must be taken daily and around the same time of day. Certain medications (especially some antibiotics) basically counter-act "the pill." Not knowing this is how some friends of ours had their first child about 9 months to the day after their wedding...

Anyways, "the pill" is a prescription because it's not considered safe for absolutely everyone and it does alter hormone levels. For most non-smoking women, however, "the pill" is considered quite safe and effective, so long as one remembers to take it daily.

Getting a prescription for "the pill" usually requires a doctor's visit where they will check for general health (especially do you smoke or not?) and also a pelvic exam (pap smear at minimum).

As for the ethics of birth control, my mental jury is still out on that one, but I'm currently acting as if there is no Biblical problem with birth control.

Nate

[domnastics]

No she doesn't smoke.

Speaking of "the pill" or similar medications, I have heard some people say that there are some abortive functions with them. Is there anywhere on the web that anyone would know about some good info on just how they work with respect to that?

[thesteve]

Originally Posted by domnastics

If that question is for me than the answer is No. I would like your insight on every option.

Ok...I just wasn't sure as the responses so far have all been directed towards that tangent.

In terms of other forms, I know that alot of people go with condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps (barrier methods) to avoid the potential complications of hormonal treatment. Not all women get the side-effects of them, but I've heard too many horror stories of women getting off of the pill to get pregnant and not being able to because of some weird hormonal thing that takes ten years to correct.

I also don't buy "inconvenience" as an excuse for not using one of the barrier methods (I realize no one's given this, but I've heard it before). I've commonly heard this one applied to condoms, but really haven't experienced any inconvenience in using them. I tend to think that finding out your wife's reproductive organs are messed up would be alot more inconvenient than an extra 10 seconds to slip on a condom. Had my wife gone on hormonal birth control, I'd probably be tooting a different horn, but things being the way they are, I'd be very hesitant in letting her start it now.

Speaking of "the pill" or similar medications, I have heard some people say that there are some abortive functions with them. Is there anywhere on the web that anyone would know about some good info on just how they work with respect to that?

the only sites that come up immediately seem to be pro-life sites, but here's a quick Google Search I did

[redbaron]

some types of hormonal birth control change the ph of the uterine wall if i'm remembering right. Essentially you can have fertilization but it never attaches to the wall and thus pregnancy doesn't occur. This is what I would put in the "grey area" since theoretically conception itself can happen.

However, I don't really see it as any different than conception occuring and the hormone levels being wrong so the body naturally regects the embryo from attaching to the uterine wall. [shrug]

KFBobInsanesMom: While I agree that children are a blessing, I have trouble reconciling the thought that you should have kids asap and as many as possible right away. I don't think that having children that you cannot care for properly is a wise decision.

The thing is, especially in modern christianity, is that kids get married young because they don't want to have premarital sex, but they're still in school, or don't have a job with health insurance, or are living on ramen and government cheese. At this point, is it better to wait a few years to marry so that they can have kids right away, but to "burn" as Paul would say, or is it better for them to marry, and then wait for a short time until they are ready for children.

Frankly I tend to be in the "wait a year or two after marraige" camp, simply because it allows you to get to adjust to your new spouse, learn how to get along, and grow your relationship before you throw in morning sickness, funky hormones, and then no sleep for the next two years. I know a lot of friends who have had kids right away who have had a very hard time because of the changes involved, and some who have waited a year or three and had it a bit easier. (not that anything worth doing is ever easy!)

anyhow. thoughts from a perpetual bachelor, so take that with a grain of salt.

[danalyn]

Originally Posted by thesteve

I also don't buy "inconvenience" as an excuse for not using one of the barrier methods (I realize no one's given this, but I've heard it before). I've commonly heard this one applied to condoms, but really haven't experienced any inconvenience in using them. I tend to think that finding out your wife's reproductive organs are messed up would be alot more inconvenient than an extra 10 seconds to slip on a condom.

We cite inconvenience as a reason to not use condoms, in a way. They tend to desensitize things and that has actually caused some issues.

[slap_j]

Originally Posted by KFBobInsanesMom

I believe the strongest argument against birth control is the fact that God clearly tells us that children are blessings and gifts that He gives. It seems to me that one should want God's blessings and gifts, not take an active part to try to prevent them.

There's only one kind of sexual activity that results in people getting pregnant. Would you say that if a married couple wants to be intimate without risking pregnancy they should:

a) shun birth control while
b) exploring other avenues of sexual expression?

Or would you say no sexual contact unless it could be fruitful in terms of a child?

[thesteve]

Originally Posted by danalyn

We cite inconvenience as a reason to not use condoms, in a way. They tend to desensitize things and that has actually caused some issues.

Hmm. I actually hadn't considered this, but its certainly a legitimate "inconvenience"...I was mostly thinking of the whole, "oh they're a pain" excuse. has it been the case in general with condoms or just with certain types?

[JerryLove]

I also disagree that the strongest argument against birth control is Onan. I believe the strongest argument against birth control is the fact that God clearly tells us that children are blessings and gifts that He gives. It seems to me that one should want God's blessings and gifts, not take an active part to try to prevent them.

Making abstinance unbiblical... which clearly isn't the case.

As to the question.
Obviously there are condoms. Though there are those that adovcate them for long-term use, I don't. They are incovinent in many ways, from having to stock to having to have readily availble, to interruption of the romantic flow, to interference with sensation, to issues with interaction between the spermacide/lubrication and partners, etc.

Right now, the most effective is one of the IUDs (forget which one), but those are only used post-pregnancy.

The patch is very effective, but I don't know if they've fixed the doseages yet. They are known for putting out too much estorgen.

The pill is a good option. It can lead to some weight gain (usually in good places) and it's very effective if taken correctly, but not as effective as the two above.

I'd suggest talking with your OBGYN.

[Zboy4God]

Originally Posted by domnastics

I'm currently engaged and we're thinking about what to do for birth control once we get married. Make no mistake, not until we're married. But we've heard that with some medications she would need to start taking it a few months before it could take effect and then visit the doctor even before that.

Anyway, we don't know really what everything is about or the pros and cons of the different options. Also, we would like to know the Biblical perspective on this. If you have some personal experience on this or know a good website with some good info I would really appreciate it. PM me if you like.

Thanks

I don't think any one should use Birth Control.its like saying to God, I don't trust you enough to decide when I have a baby or how Manny kids I'll have.maybe is just because I'm from a family of 11, and cant see my life with out my siblings..

I cant say where in the bible it says its not exeptibble...but if you think about it,God isn't going to give you more then you can handle....


have you prayed about it?

[KFBobInsanesMom]

Originally Posted by redbaron

However, I don't really see it as any different than conception occuring and the hormone levels being wrong so the body naturally regects the embryo from attaching to the uterine wall. [shrug]

KFBobInsanesMom: While I agree that children are a blessing, I have trouble reconciling the thought that you should have kids asap and as many as possible right away. I don't think that having children that you cannot care for properly is a wise decision.

The thing is, especially in modern christianity, is that kids get married young because they don't want to have premarital sex, but they're still in school, or don't have a job with health insurance, or are living on ramen and government cheese. At this point, is it better to wait a few years to marry so that they can have kids right away, but to "burn" as Paul would say, or is it better for them to marry, and then wait for a short time until they are ready for children.

Frankly I tend to be in the "wait a year or two after marraige" camp, simply because it allows you to get to adjust to your new spouse, learn how to get along, and grow your relationship before you throw in morning sickness, funky hormones, and then no sleep for the next two years. I know a lot of friends who have had kids right away who have had a very hard time because of the changes involved, and some who have waited a year or three and had it a bit easier. (not that anything worth doing is ever easy!)

anyhow. thoughts from a perpetual bachelor, so take that with a grain of salt.

The difference is that one is natural and one is not. Women do get pregnant on the pill. One of the mechanisms of birth control pills makes the uterus inhospitable to implantation. Conception occurs, but then the child is aborted because it cannot implant. While this may not occur frequently, 1 time of killing a baby is enough for me to reject the pill as a viable Christian form of birth control. (Of course, that is my opinion)

Who said you would have kids asap?? Women do not get pregnant every time they have sex. It's also a misconception that not using bith control means you will have dozens of kids. Some people do, some don't. It simply means that you allow God to decide when to give you a child instead of taking it into your own hands. I, personally, trust God's judgement over my own any day of the week.

The idea of not being able to care for children also strikes me as odd. You don't need to be rich to care for a child. All the preparations in the world are no guarantee of tomorrow. Kids for the first year of their life don't require much. A couple dozen cloth diapers, a drawer full of clothes (which you can pick up at garage sales for pennies), a place to sleep, and a mom nursing them. Other than the hospital bill, they really are cheap for the first year.

If two Christians are not ready for all marriage entails (including the possiblity of having a baby), then it would be wise to wait to get married.

I guarantee you that if God choses to give you a child 9 months after you are married, that it is the right time for you to have a child. He really does know what He is doing.