Christians are scary?!

xxSparkOfLifexx · 02-19-2007, 04:52 PM

So today the chinese homegroup of our international church held an informal chinese new year celebration in one of the members' house. The main point of the whole event was to invite all unbeliever chinese to come and share the gospel with them. Since this was an informal event (i.e. you come, sit, have dinner and talk), I took my chinese classmate along. I was thinking to take her to this event as one of my ways showing her what christianity is, who Jesus is, how christians are like, etc, but didn't know what to say to her. Fortunately, she called me today just wondering how I was doing, so I did it. I invited her to come. She's enthusiastic about it since she had nothing to do that day (and there are free food). The only thing I said to her that time was that this event was organized by the chinese homegroup in our international church, so she knew that it's a "church" thing. So we came...

As you might have expected... everybody's curious about her since she's not a believer and started to talk to her about God and stuff, which is good by the way, but the impression she got was just... different. She didn't feel comfortable and wanted to leave as soon as we had dinner. I could sense that. I could sense that she's not comfortable and I was worried about her all the time. I worried about every single detail, about whether something they said to her would hurt her, whether something they said would be too difficult for her to understand as unbeliever. I remember someone said, "If you didn't believe in God, you're under the influence of satan" --> which would say that you're a satan follower, which were true ... because there're only two possibilities. If you're not with God then you're with satan. Things like that. You know the typical thing that a christian does to convince an unbeliever that God is real.. and that they often try too hard that it has exactly the opposite effect.

To make it short.. yes, we left early (she's my guest, so I left with her). On our way back home, I asked her whether she felt weird being there. She said yes. "Everybody wants to talk to me about God and I don't like it. They're scary in some way." Short, powerful and painful. I didn't try to talk her into the whole christian and God thing anymore after that. I thought to myself, "This has been a harsh day on you, I won't burden you anymore."

What's wrong with me? Shouldn't I suppose to clarify everything? But there's not much to clarify since everything's been said is true, only not quite wise (according to my human mind).

What's wrong with christians?

Why are we so scary to unbelievers?

switchfootprson · 02-19-2007, 05:08 PM

Your friend is thinking.
She doesn't want to change, but you've made her wonder.
You are testing her.
Just be nice, and bring up the subject when it's necessary.
If she asks questions, answer them in the best way you can.
This is the second step in becoming a Christian.
Don't give up on her.
She is getting there.

leiarose · 02-19-2007, 05:28 PM

She might have been wondering why "Christians" care about her beliefs, soul and religion and not about her. That was great of you to invite her like that though - be her friend. Let her warm up to Christianity through your lifestyle. It very well could be frightening - I wouldn't like being cornered in that setting either.

jengoesup · 02-19-2007, 07:11 PM

When I was an atheist, and my friend invited me to that situation multiple times. I wanted to curl up in a ball and leave. Being in the middle of people who were praying and worshiping was just really uncomfortable. (Yes it was an outreach program, but at the end they prayed and worshiped). I felt pressured to join along...there were other things complicated about that situation, but I sort of understand your friend's position. Just the other day my friend invited some believing friends to an outreach program, and the Catholic one walked out because (I guess) she couldn't stand the way they were worshiping (arms wide open, face up, guitars, drums, etc).

**nbfan** · 02-19-2007, 07:49 PM

Once, before she was a Christian, she was at home, and someone knocked on the door, obviously a door-to-door Christian evangelist. The first thing he said was, "You're going to hell unless you read this pamphlet." She was mad. If we water down our message, it doesn't come through all the way. If we tell the blatant truth, they get mad at us. I guess what I'm trying say is that we need to be preaching in love.

all4christ1104 · 02-20-2007, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nbfan

Once, before she was a Christian, she was at home, and someone knocked on the door, obviously a door-to-door Christian evangelist. The first thing he said was, "You're going to hell unless you read this pamphlet." She was mad. If we water down our message, it doesn't come through all the way. If we tell the blatant truth, they get mad at us. I guess what I'm trying say is that we need to be preaching in love.

yes... the Bible says to "speak the Truth IN LOVE" i don't know the reference as soon as I find it, I will edit this and put it in...

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 02-21-2007, 03:35 AM

Oftentimes witnessing is done out of a spirit of conquest. This is never good.

all4christ1104 · 02-21-2007, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

Oftentimes witnessing is done out of a spirit of conquest. This is never good.

correctamundo...

Thamar · 02-21-2007, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by all4christ1104

yes... the Bible says to "speak the Truth IN LOVE" i don't know the reference as soon as I find it, I will edit this and put it in...

Is this the verse you're looking for?

Eph: 4:15

15but, holding the truth in love, we may grow up to him in all things, who is the head, the Christ:

If love is the motive we can win many to Christ. People can sense this from us.

xxSparkOfLifexx · 02-21-2007, 11:33 AM

Wow, never thought I'd get so many responses. Thanks.

Hmm, so we need to speak the truth in LOVE.. although I'm not quite sure how to do that. I've known her for almost 6 years, but I never take the initiative to bring up the subject about faith and God until she asks me about it. Our relationship is purely friendship, no string attached. Probably that's why she's a bit shocked that time, that everybody was being rather pushy compare to me.

So, have any of you got any experience about speaking the truth in love and eventually can "win souls"? Waiting for the other party to start asking questions will take probably forever.

all4christ1104 · 02-21-2007, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thamar

Is this the verse you're looking for?

Eph: 4:15

15but, holding the truth in love, we may grow up to him in all things, who is the head, the Christ:

If love is the motive we can win many to Christ. People can sense this from us.

yes, thanks, I have been so busy, that I haven't had the chance to look it up. God does many GREAT things.

bobthecockroach · 02-21-2007, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxSparkOfLifexx

I remember someone said, "If you didn't believe in God, you're under the influence of satan".... Things like that. You know the typical thing that a christian does to convince an unbeliever that God is real

If that's typical for Christians you know, you need to um... find new Christians to hang out with.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 02-21-2007, 10:35 PM

I would agree Bob/Daniel. Dealing with unbelievers absolutely needs to be done in love and humility. That comes across as neither loving nor humble.

Insane Drummer · 02-23-2007, 12:13 PM

I have always been of the opinion the events meant to "trap" people into a church environment are a bad idea.

How about this... A New Years party with the church that is really a New Years party?

Jfool · 05-07-2007, 09:52 AM

Becoming a Christian IS scary. Even for a Christian, going to a new church can be scary.

I agree with switchfoot' just be her friend, she heard the message. Now reflect God's love and just lead her by your life example. I hope she heard more than just "you are following the wrong god..." There are blessings and fruits of the spirit she should know about. All the good things Jesus has to offer here on earth as well as in heaven.