Kids Music and tv and games..

James11 · 02-09-2007, 01:58 PM

My wife and I took a good look recently at what our kids are being influenced by. From Music, TV and even video games. We decided to get rid of alot of stuff that just didnt seem apropriate.
Let me start with we have 6 kids ranging from ages 9 to 21. The 21y/o, she is in boot camp for the Army, So none of this really applies to her. But for the rest 9-16 we got rid of alot of secular music we had around. The kids were a bit upset at first but they like alot of the Christian music we do have. Now for t.v. well times got a little tough and we dont have cable or satalite and where we live you cant just use an antenna, so tv is out all together. We have thought about getting Sky Angel, but are not sure yet. I do know though that alot of the stuff on tv was not good.. at it was hard to regulate the tv when we were not home. Our 16 year old liked to watch CSI, Law and Order and all the SVU shows. She would like to be a CSI. And.. actually it just seemed to get to the point where there wasnt anything good out there that was actually "helpful" to the kids.
Now as for video games... we got rid of the violent ones. Like Driver 3, where you could run people over or get out of your car and shoot someone... Our sone was just getting into it too much to the point of just wanting to run someone over or shoot them... Other games were Call of Duty.. and a few other violent (Killing) type games.

Now my question is... how have you brought your kids up in this society or how do you plan on doing this? I know its a broad question but I just want others opinion.
Thanks
James

**H.M. Murdock** · 02-09-2007, 02:15 PM

I was raised with full knowledge that games, movies and music are not real life. They were, in their own way, "seperate." Video games were playtime, and weren't something to measure the world by. I was held to different standards than a game would have me live by, such as saying please, thank you, and being nice. While I didn't actually say please or thank you, and was not nice, those teachings seem to have taken some foothold in my life as I now have no inclination to run over pedestrians or (worse yet) pull out a sword and slash at someone. Which'd be bad, as I actually have a sword. Rather than being told not to be rude, I was told to be nice. Rudeness and not being a good boy weren't options. I was nice or I simply... wasn't.

"To 'debunk' the emotion, on the basis of a commonplace rationalism, is within almost anyone's capacity. [...] They see the world around them swayed by emotional propaganda—they have learned from tradition that youth is sentimental—and they conclude that the best thing they can do is to fortify the minds of young people against emotion. My own experience as a teacher tells an opposite tale. For every one pupil who needs to be guarded from a weak excess of sensibility there are three who need to be awakened from the slumber of cold vulgarity. The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts. The right defence against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be avenged and a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head."
- C.S. Lewis

*shrug* I'm not a parent though.

James11 · 02-14-2007, 06:10 PM

Thanks for the reply... was kinda hoping a few more may answer.. heck even if you are not a parent.. if you are a Youngster.. let me know your opinion.

headbanger13 · 02-14-2007, 07:49 PM

Yeah, I'm 14 and I play kind of a lot of video games.. I don't think of the games as real life, and I sure as heck wouldn't go shooting people just because I play Halo and Call of Duty

***Art*** · 02-14-2007, 08:44 PM

If/when I have kids, I will probably not allow them to play games with any sort of mature themes, including violence, language, sexuality, nor watch any TV/Movies with the same until they are old enough to understand what is acceptable in real society. At the same time, I was fairly uncensored as a kid, and I seem to have a better sense of right and wrong than most of my peers.

passinthru · 02-14-2007, 10:11 PM

My childhood was almost media free - no tv in the house, no secular radio allowed, only worship music or classical music, no internet, the only computer we had was a TRS80-Basic. My books were censored until it got to the point where I read so much and so fast that my parents couldn't keep up with me. This was the case until I was around 16.

I did learn to evaluate media (video games, computer games, tv shows, music). I do find that I have a hard time separating reality from the visual stuff (movies and tv shows esp).

Even once we had a tv in the house, there were alot of shows that were just not allowed. You're right in that there isn't much on there that is good. Instead of paying for satellite, why not use that money to purchase DVD sets of TV shows that are good that you are alright with your children watching? They get their tv, you get peace of mind. (and there are no commercials)

I don't know what I'll do with my own kids. I'm not there yet and it's going to mean finding the balance between how I was raised and the extreme of anything goes.

***Art*** · 02-15-2007, 02:08 AM

Katie hit a good point there. There has to be balance. The Bible tells us to be in the world, but not of the world. There is balance there.

**bread man** · 02-15-2007, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art

If/when I have kids, I will probably not allow them to play games with any sort of mature themes, including violence, language, sexuality, nor watch any TV/Movies with the same until they are old enough to understand what is acceptable in real society.

This is how I was raised and I would venture to say that most of the time, I make good decisions. I think the ultimate goal should be to teach kids discernment. I also think that it's a lot more important to consider why kids want to play certain games/watch certain movies or television shows. To use a personal example, I am pretty into film and I know that some of the films I watch, my parents would never watch. At the same time, I have a very clear line in my head of what is acceptable for me to watch and what isn't. Rather than 'protecting' me, my parents gave me a far greater gift; good judgement.

This, of course, coming from an 18 year old who is just out of high school.

TheProdigalModern · 02-16-2007, 11:04 AM

We keep our son from viewing some of our movies (e.g. ones with excessive swearing, violence or any sexuality to speak of), but we don't have TV, and our taste in music is impeccible, so...

Actually, it's not really a problem. All that he ever wants to watch is the damn Raffi DVD.

bobthecockroach · 02-16-2007, 11:24 AM

I would just like to comment that I think watching Law and Order (and SVU) is a positive thing for anyone mature enough to watch it. That show raises many important issues.

Me, I was playing Goldeneye (a game revolving almost entirely around shooting people) in my early teens. I think I turned out alright. Ultimately, I think a thorough high-quality education and upbringing is a lot more effective than censorship. Some times, I think censorship creates problems. Everyone knows that saying "no" to something just makes a kid want it more. It's more important, I think, to educate the child so THEY will say "no" to it.

Of course, censorship is still necessary. Young children should not watch R-rated movies, period. Restricting older teens to PG-13 or using parental controls on the TV when your youngest child is 14 (both things I have seen people do), however, is to me ridiculous. Granted, judgments have to be made within the R rating, but saying no to it altogether seems like overkill to me.

Just so you know, I'm almost 21, in college but living at home, and single.

James11 · 02-16-2007, 06:36 PM

Hey Friends, thanks for the replys.. keep them coming if anyone else reads these... and just to let y'all know.... its not always easy being a parent... enjoy your childhood while you can... it doenst really get any better.

**Role Modlin** · 02-20-2007, 08:14 AM

We try to keep things age appropriate. We let out oldest son (he's almost eleven) watch Law & Order with us.

**Sean** · 02-20-2007, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

Ultimately, I think a thorough high-quality education and upbringing is a lot more effective than censorship.

Exactly.

I'm currently attending a Bible college that believes that part of their job is to be continue parenting students who's parents didn't do a good job (this is from the president's mouth). So to help students make wise decisions for life, they censor certain things. Apperently their plan to help us make decisions is to not allow us to make decisions. ...which doesn't make any sense.

To teach some discernment you have to allow them to make decisions. You then guide them through these decisions. If all you do is censor or enforce rules, you aren't teaching the principes nor are you allowing them to practice their discernment in a protected enviroment. Thus, the first time they will be allowed to excercise discernment is when they're completley free from your immediate influence. That seems far more dangerous than allowing them to excericise discernment while at home.

**redbaron** · 02-22-2007, 02:58 PM

the hard part is that parents often have a hard time letting go enough to allow kids to make their decisions, screw up, and learn discernment. No matter how well you teach your kids (and I feel my parents did pretty well) the kid is still going to have to learn some things the hard way.

Better that they learn in a controlled environment with some loving guidance than all at once when they move out.

wjarmusch · 03-05-2007, 09:08 AM

Something no-one here has mentioned yet is:
The more you censor your child from doing/watching something, the more curious they will be to do it/watch it when they're out of your protection.

Now that's not always true, and yes there's a balance to it, but if you never let your kid see what's out there, they're in for a real shock when they get into the 'real world' to make their own choices.

btw I'm 17 and still living at home, I'm speaking somewhat from experience.
My mom didn't allow me to watch anything pg-13 or own any shooting games. So of course the first thing I did when I got to a friends house was to go watch a cool PG-13 action movie or play Bond...
Music wasn't an issue with me, Christian music wasn't forced upon me, I just kinda picked it up because I realized how gross a lot of the other stuff is.