Could I be gay

Firefly1384 · 01-19-2007, 08:52 AM

I am a girl and I have had three boyfriends in the past and none of them really turned me on or anything. I don't really find myself being attracted to guys. I don't really find myself attracted to guys or girls. I don't do well around guys because I freak out, but when I am around girls I feel a little more comfortable. Sometimes I wonder if I am gay or if I just haven't found the right person yet. I'm not really sure what to think about all of this.

cytorath · 01-19-2007, 09:05 AM

my first question would be 'how old are you?'

Firefly1384 · 01-19-2007, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cytorath

my first question would be 'how old are you?'

20.

bobthecockroach · 01-19-2007, 09:13 AM

Well, since you say that you don't find yourself attracted to girls either and that you freak out around guys, I'd say it just sounds like nerves to me. If you're feeling freaked out, you're naturally not going to be feeling very turned on.

In general, people are more freaked out about being with the opposite sex (the sex most people are attracted to), so that would also lead me to believe that your real preference is guys.

I would say, however, to wait for a guy you can feel comfortable with before trying the boyfriend thing again.

Ax · 01-19-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

Well, since you say that you don't find yourself attracted to girls either and that you freak out around guys, I'd say it just sounds like nerves to me. If you're feeling freaked out, you're naturally not going to be feeling very turned on.

In general, people are more freaked out about being with the opposite sex (the sex most people are attracted to), so that would also lead me to believe that your real preference is guys.

I would say, however, to wait for a guy you can feel comfortable with before trying the boyfriend thing again.

I'll second this, and I'll add a tip. Next time you go on a date, get dressed and made up early, and then relax, listen to music, and do deep breathing exercises before the date starts... Also, don't get caught up in the traditional 'romantic' date setting type thing, go do something that you can feel comfortable while doing... Then you wont be freaked out so much...

OctaviusIII · 01-19-2007, 02:24 PM

Yeah, it doesn't sound like a tendency towards lesbianism, just a tendency to not have a very active libido. The attraction bit is still there, only a bit less prominent, thanks to the fact that you get nervous around guys.

There's not too much else to say unless you're looking to have a more active libido, which could involve changing any number of environmental factors: medication, diet, sleep patterns, etc.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 01-19-2007, 06:38 PM

I was a guy who wasn't really attracted to girls till I was over 18. Don't get me wrong. I had many female friends etc. In fact I have some traits that some people would label feminine.

However, I am a happily married straight man. Our society puts pressure on us to be attracted to others insanely early. Some of us... myself included could be classed as later to develop attractions. It is by no means an indication of homosexuality, nor does it mean you will have a low sex drive in marriage.

All it really means is right now, you are not interested, and there is NOTHING wroong with that.