[adamkaboom]

Okay...how old are you btw? Okay...i know that sometimes posts can come off as aggressive or that they directed at you. This is not like that...please don't take this personally. this is just my opinion compared to yours...and see if we can't get a couple hazy spots cleared up.

Originally Posted by Amazing Grace

Ok, this kind of contradicts what everybody else was saying, but I say, do not tell her.
I am a girl who has been confessed to by a friend who liked her, and also knew when guy friends liked her and did not say anything. If you really like this girl, then trust me, she knows.

right... I know she knows... I'm still followin' you

Whatever story that was about the girl dieing and then reading her diary, cute little story, but I have to doubt if it's actually real or not. Not saying that confrontation never works out, but from my experience, it does not. I mean, people will tell you to go for it, but has anybody replied saying that the exact same thing happened to them and it worked out great? I hate sounding like a skeptic, but probably not.

Hm...so based on your one experience, you will tell everyone to never throw their feelings out on the table because it will never work?

I say, if you have to talk about it, then its not good, things should just develop naturally.

I couldn't ask her if she wanted to date?

I know that I would've pushed my current boyfriend away if he had tried to tell me his feelings too early on.
If something is meant to happen then it will happen all in good timing. She will act in a different manor around you if she returns the feelings. I mean, I would definitely encourage trying to spend more time with her. If she is into hanging out more, than you'll start to see that she likes you too, or maybe she will begin to like you. Otherwise, you'll be able to tell that she likes you more as just a friend.

I'm following you to an extent... good timing (God's timing) = check...hang out = check... her showing her feelings = not so much... I can usually read people pretty well; not a whole lot gets past me. I am very easy to read (reason why she knows I like her) but she is pretty hard to read most of the time.

I have a guy friend who always comes to me for advice on girls and always wants to tell this or that girl how he feels and I tell him not to do it, but he does anyways, and yeah, he is still single. Girls don't wanna be confronted, its not even romantic, they have no idea what to do.

I think that there is a definate difference between someone who is always asking (as your friend is)...than someone who doesn't ask about this hardly at at. If everytime a guy see's a girl he's like... "I must confess my feelings or I'm gonna explode!!" Well then, I'd say you are very much correct for telling him to settle down. (i don't know that he does this, just an example) It depends on the type of confrontation too I think... even for guys, if a girl comes up and says, "I'm madly in love with you" ya it's awkward and we're like... what do we do? I think confrontation is a strong word though....

But on the plus side, the friendship usually still survives if you do tell her how you feel. it may be awkward for a while, but you will move on and things will probably remain pretty good between the two of you. But I just don't see any benefit from telling her.
-one girls opinion

In the one experience I had... (i didn't think it out very well last time) yea, it didn't work for us. The distance was too much, and while she wanted to date, she didn't want to work for it...so I'm not new to this type of experience. And, we are still friends and such as you said. Thank you for your post and your opinion on the matter. I will definately take it to thought. Thanks!

[burningtr33]

both spectrums of advice is good. However it all depends on the situation. In some cases you should tell her and go for it and on some cases you should just let it be. The hard part is the ability to discern wat is best with the current circumstances.

I suggest assessing the situation rationally and do it with a trusted friend or whoever you can trust and feel comfortable talking about these kinds of stuff to so that when you do assess the situation your friend can discern if it is rational or not. And after you did that you should discuss it if is best to tell her or if it is best to let it run its course in silence.

I had couple cases when my friends confessed to the girls, and both of them didnt end up going out or watever. Also I had couple cases when other people that i go to skool with did confess and ended up being together. As mentioned before it all depends on the situation.

Peace and Grace

[adamkaboom]

Originally Posted by burningtr33

I suggest assessing the situation rationally and do it with a trusted friend or whoever you can trust and feel comfortable talking about these kinds of stuff to so that when you do assess the situation your friend can discern if it is rational or not. And after you did that you should discuss it if is best to tell her or if it is best to let it run its course in silence.

right on...that's what I'm workin' on doing...just gotta find some time because this won't be a quick discussion I'm sure

[OctaviusIII]

Originally Posted by Amazing Grace

I say, if you have to talk about it, then its not good, things should just develop naturally.

This is another way of looking at it that I forgot about, which is odd because I always try to avoid the direct "so I feel this way about you" approach. Steering the course of events is far more difficult, though, and generally involves a lot more tact and a good intuition about how she reacts to X, Y, or Z. I can't give guidance on how this works, though, as it comes across as far sketchier than it actually is when described on a message board, especially CGR's message board.

[burningtr33]

Originally Posted by adamkaboom

right on...that's what I'm workin' on doing...just gotta find some time because this won't be a quick discussion I'm sure

yes you must take your time and collect ALL your thoughts into it. A hasty decision will only leave you with regret and remorse.

[adamkaboom]

...i think she just aquired a new boyfriend...













and it wasn't me

[burningtr33]

Originally Posted by adamkaboom

...i think she just aquired a new boyfriend...













and it wasn't me

i am very sorry to hear this. However you must now even make a greater effort to let go. If you dont youll feel like crap everyday and sometimes you may even lose a reason to wake up in the morning. Its going to be a hard and rough storm but do you really think god will let you sink in the dark waters? Trust and resume your regular life as best as possible and be in prayer and in him.

Peace and Grace.

[adamkaboom]

Yea....I'm not really down about it... just gotta roll with the punches ya know? And plus, I was only one side of the story since I hadn't talked to her about anything. Dat's how it goes