[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by Job 19:25-27

Hey guys. I've got problems. (who doesn't, right? ) Ummm... yeah, okay, I have this guy in my life, & we're talking about getting married.

Okay...

I love him like crazy, & would marry him, but I don't feel good about the strength of his relationship with God.

Why specifically? I am a Masters of divinity student and my wife is not the first person I talk to about God on a day to day basis. We both are strong in our faith, but we do not usually discuss theology that much.

I've talked to him a little about it, but I really don't want him to change just for me & I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to change who he is either.

Just on a cursory reading of the thread, the bolded part seems to be the only reason for the break to be honest.

I'm thinking about telling him I need to take a two month brake from our relationship so that we can think about things on our own for a bit & see how we're doing when we've had time to pray & think things through...

Thats breaking up to be blunt. That is what you are suggesting here. Timed breakups are a severe damage to trust as you are basically saying, "Maybe I want to break up with you, lets try it out for a while."


Now given this, why do you want to break up with this guy?

You say spiritual leadership, however, thats an ambigouous term. What do you have as your expectation of a husband.

Now one thing I will point out, is that according to scripture, those who will be married, are not going to be as focused on the Lord as those who will stay single.

I mean, quite seriously, focusing your time and attention on your wife is a massive responsibility in marriage and that becomes a large part of ones duty as a Christian, to love your wife as Christ loves the church.

[Job 19:25-27]

No. I am serious about not wanting to break up with him. So since that's the way it looks to everyone else, then I'm going to completely scratch the idea of the two month break. I am seriously in love with him.

THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH EVERYBODY FOR YOUR ADVISE!!!!!
It means a ton to me.
Please pray that I will decide the right things in this sit.
Blessings,
~Nobody

[BillSPrestonEsq]

specifically, what bothers you about him? What do you see as being deficient in his life?

For example, I do not talk too much about theology around my wife. It gets frustrating for both of us as I use jargon she doesn't understand and explain jargon she does and... it just doesn't work too well.

Also a lot of people are not too prone to discuss God even when he is the central core of their being because it is assumed.

I just mention this because thats the one real specific example...

[crazychu]

go take charge!

[musicianist]

Originally Posted by Job 19:25-27

Hey guys. I've got problems. (who doesn't, right? ) Ummm... yeah, okay, I have this guy in my life, & we're talking about getting married.
I love him like crazy, & would marry him, but I don't feel good about the strength of his relationship with God.
I've talked to him a little about it, but I really don't want him to change just for me & I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to change who he is either.
I'm thinking about telling him I need to take a two month brake from our relationship so that we can think about things on our own for a bit & see how we're doing when we've had time to pray & think things through...
Help?
~Nobody

I personally do have a spiritual relationship with God, but it is very secret. Just because he doesnt outwardly go and lead a Bible study or pray every morning for an hour, doesnt mean he doesnt have a personal relationship with Christ. And no matter how close you two are, if he has a deep relationship with Christ, he may never tell you. Almost every guy wants to be seen as having control of his own life. But just because they are seen that way doesnt mean that they are that way.

As far as religion and marrige go, there is a verse that says that you shall not mix your yolk with an unclean yolk, which does make marrying a non-christian a problem for some of us. And some of us it isnt.

Those are my thoughts.

[gg7]

Originally Posted by musicianist

And no matter how close you two are, if he has a deep relationship with Christ, he may never tell you.

As far as religion and marrige go, there is a verse that says that you shall not mix your yolk with an unclean yolk, which does make marrying a non-christian a problem for some of us. And some of us it isnt.

Say what? The above statements do not fit into the Biblical model for marriage at all.

Lets look at some scripture...

Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)
14 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV)
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

[musicianist]

Thats breaking up to be blunt. That is what you are suggesting here. Timed breakups are a severe damage to trust as you are basically saying, "Maybe I want to break up with you, lets try it out for a while."

Never liked the idea of taking a break from a relationship like that, and the topic has come up with my personal life, but hasnt been needed to be executed yet, but now that you said that, it explains why ive always thought it was dumb, and still had a bad feeling about it when it was going to apply to me. couldnt have explained it better. that just helped me know what to do if the situation occurs again. thanks.

and i obviously agree that thats a bad idea.