[Thamar]

Someone once told me that I must always look people, especially of the opposite sex, in the eye. Don't turn away when talking to them or don't try to avoid eye contact. I can't remember what they meant when they said that but it's been on my mind. I got the impression that they meant that if I looked away it would give "men" the idea that I'm a weak willed female and an easy conquest.

On the whole I've always been able to make eye contact with most people. Yet there are times I'd avoid it because some people seem to be uncomfortable and can't look me in the eye for too long. No, I don't stare them down.

I've also noticed that when close friends or family are hiding something from me they are unable to look me in the eye. Not always but most times that is the case.

Should a person maintain eye contact when speaking to someone weather it be boss/teacher/friend/pastor/acquaintance? How much would be too much? And if a friend generally avoids eye contact when talking to you even if it's for long periods of time (avoiding eye contact i.e.) should one be concerned?

[H.M. Murdock]

When I'm listening, I am looking. When I talk, I am all over the place, unless I'm talking about something important. Some people have taken it as an insult, but I don't mean it that way. I just don't "do" eye contact all that much.

[Guitaress]

My dad always told me to look people in the eye when I talk to them. If my dad around, and he's watchin me talk to someone, and I don't make eye contact, you can bet I'll get a lecture

[meatfinger]

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

When I'm listening, I am looking. When I talk, I am all over the place, unless I'm talking about something important. Some people have taken it as an insult, but I don't mean it that way. I just don't "do" eye contact all that much.

o man me 2!

[Katze]

Eye contact is nice when you're having a good conversation. I have a really hard time lookin my mom in the eye during a fight, however.

[-[R]-ChurchPunk]

Originally Posted by Thamar

I got the impression that they meant that if I looked away it would give "men" the idea that I'm a weak willed female and an easy conquest.

You're a girl?

oops.. lol. XD

[sazahko]

I try and maintain almost constant eye contact. Mainly 'cause I'm fairly good at figuring out what people are thinking if I can look them in the eye while talking to them. But...then again, I've been jokingly accused of "staring". So whatever.

-Sazzy

[tropicana]

I think eye contact is important to polite communication, so I try to make eye contact regularily when I'm talking to someone. However, if you're simply engaging in casual conversation, constant eye contact seems pushy, so it should be something reserved for more intense or personal discussions.

[OneHope]

I once heard that there was a difference between men and women. Either men always look away when talking and in the eye when listening and women look in the eyes when talking and men look away when listening or it is the other way around, I can't remember.

[beanbag]

I look at people when they are speaking to me, mostly, and I look at people when I am speaking to them, mostly. I have to break eye contact for a couple of moments pretty frequently, though, otherwise I get a little stressed. part of it has to do with people I have interacted with, though. I know a certain individual who never breaks eye contact (as far as I've noticed) during conversations, whether listening or speaking, and it is way too intense for me. I personally get extremely uncomfortable if I can't look around the room or off into the distance every so often before looking at the person again.

unfortunately, some people take that the wrong way. one person thought I was avoiding them and wanting to leave the conversation because I kept looking around, when really it was just because I felt like I was being stared down because that person didn't look around the room the way I do.

I guess it's just very individual.

[Nate]

Constant eye contact is creepy, and not even the best-trained communicators will tell you to maintain constant eye contact, even for one-on-one conversations. Eye contact is good, though. I've just noticed that my girlfriend finds it hard to make eye contact... it's funny.

[H.M. Murdock]

Trained communicators worth their salt make eye contact to emphasize points. When something important pops up in what they're saying, and they want it to stick, they will pair it with eye contact. Depending on what they're saying and who they're saying it to, they might stare you down. It's a pretty effective method.

[guitarman531]

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

When I'm listening, I am looking. When I talk, I am all over the place, unless I'm talking about something important. Some people have taken it as an insult, but I don't mean it that way. I just don't "do" eye contact all that much.

Same here (almost). When I am talking *to* someone, I don't try to maintain eye-contact (I'm ususally looking around or in front of me...but not waving at other people).

However, when I listen, I look at his/her face (not in a weird way), just to show that I am indeed listening.

[Thamar]

Originally Posted by Nate

Constant eye contact is creepy, and not even the best-trained communicators will tell you to maintain constant eye contact, even for one-on-one conversations. Eye contact is good, though. I've just noticed that my girlfriend finds it hard to make eye contact... it's funny.

Your girlfriend....that is strange.

I was attracted to a guy sometime ago and things did not work out or get off the ground so to speak. I wanted more than he was willing to give so it ended abruptly.

Years latter the guy and now his wife were in the same circles as myself. He never breaks eye contact no matter who he is talking to. At first when he would speak to me I could not look at him because I still had feelings for him and had not sorted that out as yet. Also I was a little ashamed of how things went down. Eventually I sorted things out with my emotions and I am now able to speak to him, making eye contact and all, and not feel uncomfortable.

[xevan]

I make eye contact to people I wanna conect too on a higher level whhen im talking to them.