[Insane Drummer]

Eye contact scares people.

Seriously.

It does.

[Thamar]

Is scares people when there is something to hide or when you try to stare the person down.

There are some young boys who I see at the school where I work. They have this rule where if they make eye contact with a girl they make it the goal to not break eye contact first! They would stare at the girl till she turns away. One of them told me he was on the Alter serving (he's an Catholic) and he saw this girl chewing gum during mass. He looked at her till she saw him looking and his intention was to stare her down. The girl held his eye contact for a loooooong time. Eventually he had to look away because duty called! He later said that girl was tough. She would not back down!

Now that's not scary but it's not cool either!

[Insane Drummer]

Originally Posted by Thamar

Is scares people when there is something to hide or when you try to stare the person down.

No, I think it is just freaky to some people.

[beanbag]

people who are shy don't like eye contact.

I have moments when I don't want people to make eye contact with me. (especially when they stare me down.) it's not because I have something to hide, but because I would rather not make eye contact right then. (I am an introvert and I need my me-time. when I don't get my me-time, I don't want to talk to people and I don't want them to talk to me or even look at me, so I avoid making eye contact so they'll go away.)

[tropicana]

Originally Posted by Insane Drummer

No, I think it is just freaky to some people.

It's freaky because refusing to break eye contact is very dominant and agressive, I think.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

freaky is looking people in both eyes at the same time. You have to have voluntary control over things you aren't supposed to. Its lots of fun though. I can also dilate my pupils at will.

When I get scared or angry my eyes change color as well. Apparently its rather freaky to see.

At the same time, this phrase means you can tell a lot about someone through their eyes. I believe this to be usually quite true.

[Thamar]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

rather freaky to see.

At the same time, this phrase means you can tell a lot about someone through their eyes. I believe this to be usually quite true.

That's true too.

I looked at a study on-line in realtion to making eye contact. It gave some details as to when making eye contact is good and also when it's not good, e.g. it's not good to do so when you are being robed or when a bear is attacking you. They see it as a charlenge!

The writer also studied people and gave details on his results.

Here's the link:

http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/PP...ye_contact.htm

[Guitaress]

Originally Posted by guitarman531

Same here (almost). When I am talking *to* someone, I don't try to maintain eye-contact (I'm ususally looking around or in front of me...but not waving at other people).

However, when I listen, I look at his/her face (not in a weird way), just to show that I am indeed listening.

Same here, I *try* to make eye contact when talking to someone, but it's not always PRECISE eye contact.

And when someone's talking to me, it's usually the same way, thought maybe a bit better though.

[Guitaress]

Originally Posted by Thamar

I looked at a study on-line in realtion to making eye contact. It gave some details as to when making eye contact is good and also when it's not good, e.g. it's not good to do so when you are being robed or when a bear is attacking you. They see it as a charlenge!

The writer also studied people and gave details on his results.

Here's the link:

http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/PP...ye_contact.htm

"Males on the other hand, are less likely to make eye contact and more likely to look around the room. Males let others know that they are paying attention with nods of the head, rather than the use eye contact"
.
I mostly disagree with that statement. Not all guys avoid eye contact. Some do, but not all of them avoid it.

For example, I have this friend who's a guy(guy friend), and when I talk to him, I can tell he's interested in what I'm sayin cause he makes good eye contact. He usually(If at all) doesn't look around the room when talking to someone(Or that could just be more )

My point being, that sttatement in the study wasn't true for all guys.

[Sean's Wife]

In general, eye-contact is perceived as a manifestation of confidence. This may not be an accurate judge of character, but I think it's a common perception.

When my husband and I first started dating, he came over to meet a good friend of mine for the first time. We had just gotten into town (after a 20-something hour car ride), and he was tired. Because he didn't make a lot of eye-contact, my friend thought he was a 'shady character,' and didn't immediately approve. Of course, now that she has gotten to know him, she doesn't think that anymore, but it's always funny to laugh and remember when she thought he was sketchy!

Also, while making eye-contact can be totally freaky, I think a lot of the weird factor comes from when people 'force' eye-contact. You know what I mean...for some reason or other they feel like they have to maintain eye contact, or they make you feel like you have to. Then, it usually turns into that really awkward non-blinking stare that is completely terrifying. Also, it can be uncomfortable when people use it as a way of establishing dominance- when people try to make you break eye-contact. This is a very common occurance in the animal kingdom (wolves/canines come to mind for some reason) for establishing a heirarchy. For example, I've heard that you should never stare an agressive dog in the eye, because he'll take it as a challenge and eat you (okay, probably not that severe, but you get the idea). Likewise, I've also heard that, if your dog is being disobedient, it is helpful to force eye contact (generally by securing the head and staring at it), until it looks away, thus establishing that you are superior over the dog. No idea if that's 100% accurate (and I refuse to be held responsible for any dog attacks that occur because you're putting these examples into practice), but that's just what I've heard.

[Andrew]

Eye-contact is a manifestation of confidence, straight up. If you are confident in what you are doing/who you are/what you are talking about, barring other variables, you will make eye contact with whomever you are speaking to.

[Thamar]

Originally Posted by Andrew

Eye-contact is a manifestation of confidence, straight up. If you are confident in what you are doing/who you are/what you are talking about, barring other variables, you will make eye contact with whomever you are speaking to.

Nice way of expressing it.

There are so many people going around who are unsure of themselves and what they are doing (not all the time). I know of may who can do public speaking or even singing yet one-on-one they don't make eye contact or are shy. Strange but true.

[JaytheK]

Originally Posted by Harrry

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

You're fairly new, so I'll try not to sound too harsh. That being said, this post of yours pretty much defines what a cheap post is, so if you're going to be posting like this, keep it in the CPF (Cheap Post Forum). I'll leave the rest of the reprimanding to the mods.

To keep my post from being cheap, , I tend to look into the other persons eyes when I'm listening to them. I naturally stare off into nothingness when I'm concentrating on what I'm speaking about. I have to force myself to look into the other persons eyes when I'm talking, and when I do that it's hard for me to concentrate on what I am trying to say. But I try to do both because it's better etiquette.

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Sean's Wife

I think a lot of the weird factor comes from when people 'force' eye-contact...

Hmmmm...I wonder if I scare people when I am trying to be polite by forcing myself to have eye contact...I'll have to ponder this for a while.

[Sean's Wife]

Hmmmm...I wonder if I scare people when I am trying to be polite by forcing myself to have eye contact...I'll have to ponder this for a while.

I would imagine so. Eye contact in and of itself isn't frightening, it's just when people aren't naturally making eye contact...or something about the way they're looking at you feels unnatural. So, if you think that you should make eye contact with someone you're listening to, but it's more the obligation or social propriety of the eye contact and not the genuine interest in what the other person is saying...that's when eye contact becomes really creepy. I hope that makes sense.

[Fandrew]

I'm an education major, and I'm being instructed to maintain eye contact as a means of authority. They teach that if you can't hold eye contact with a student, the student will never respect you.