[Becky]

Hey, I wrote this song today, and i know it needs a bit of work.. any suggestions on ways i can fix it up would be awesome!

I also need someone to put it to music.. something simple enough that I can play on guitar thanks for the help!!

I Trust You (Despite My Heart)

When I can’t meet the deadlines

And the world won’t give me grace

Though I fail their expectations

And you choose not to change them

I will trust you

Every time my friends disappear

Or if they throw me out

When they say we were never friends at all

When I search for love and there is non to be found

I will Trust You

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when my tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has be blown apart

I choose to trust you - Despite my heart

With every cut, burn or bruise

Every lie Satan uses

When the pain that drives me crazy

and pills look like my best friend

I will Trust You

When a husband hits his wife

A little girl is raped by her dad

When a child starves to death

And church sits back and laughs

I will Trust you

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when my tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has be blown apart

I choose to trust you - Despite my heart

Nothing you are doing tells me that you care

But the bible says you’re working

So I guess I must believe despite the pain

Despite what I see - Despite how I feel

Despite my heart- I will trust you

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when my tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has be blown apart

I choose to trust you -Despite my heart

[Becky]

here's a further edited version, after going over it aloud a few times i found more things that i could fix up. tell me what you think, I colored the changes inpurple

I Trust You (Despite My Heart)

When I can’t meet the deadlines

And the world won’t give me grace

Though I fail their expectations

And you choose not to change them

I will trust you

Every time my friends disappear

Or if they throw me out

When they say we were never friends at all

When I search for love and there is non to be found

I will Trust You

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when the tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has been blown apart

I choose to trust you
Despite my heart

With every cut, burn or bruise

Every lie Satan uses

When the pain drives me crazy

and pills become a friend

I will Trust You

When a husband hits his wife

A girl's raped by her dad

When an orphan starves to death

The church disapears in the mess

I will Trust you

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when the tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has been blown apart

I choose to trust you
Despite my heart

Nothing you are doing tells me that you care

But the bible says you’re working

So I guess despite the pain

Despite what I see
Despite my heart
I will trust you

I will trust you though I can not see why

I will trust you when the tears sting my eyes

I will trust you though my life has been blown apart

I choose to trust you
Despite my heart

[finchfeeder]

Becky!

I really like your song!

It could be depressing but I like the struggle through life idea!

Put to depressing music or upbeat music? Pop, Metal, Gospel, Rock, Blues? Do you have any preference?

I like it!

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by finchfeeder

Pop, Metal, Gospel, Rock, Blues?

I envisioned a sort of country feel to it. Not modern pop country, but old style country. Johnny Cash country.

Good stuff, Becky. To be perfectly honest, though, there is one part I really didn't like:

"When a husband hits his wife
A girl's raped by her dad
When an orphan starves to death
And church sits back and laughs
I will Trust you"

I don't really think it is fair to accuse the church of laughing at such things. I have never met anyone in my life who would laugh at abuse, rape or starvation. I think it would be fair to say that the church sits back and does nothing, but I do not think it is fair to say that they laugh.

[Becky]

Country?!!? Country is my favorite style, that would be sooo awesome if it actually worked as country

hms.. i see your point about that last line though... I mean, I really like it.. but i see your point..

I don't know what to change though.. i'll have to think on that..

maybe..

where's the church in this mess?

or, the church disapears in the mess?

i'll have to think about it..

[Becky]

what do you guys think of this change?

With every cut, burn or bruise

every lie Satan uses

When the pain drives me crazy

And church sits back and laughs

I will Trust You

When a husband hits his wife

A girl's raped by her dad

When an orphan starves to death

The church is missing in this mess

I will Trust you

i still like the suicide concept i left out in the first one, but it wasn't working i don't feel.. but then saying church twice doesn't work well either.. I guess i'll end up scrapping that line all together.. i have to try to play with it first though

maybe i could change that line to something like.. "and pills catch my eye".. would that work better??

[bobthecockroach]

I'm wondering if your experience is really that the church sits back and laughs. I mean, if it is, go ahead and write it, but I've never experienced that.

[Becky]

to the paragraph i just added it into... yea... that's been my experiance.. alot of people in the church think depression is a silly excuse of someone who doesn't take responsaiblity to have faith in God..

[bobthecockroach]

Ok, that works better then.

[Becky]

do you think switching it to this would be better? I don't know, this one is really hard to say... I'm wondering if i can really put the pill one in there.. I mean, can i really trust God while wanting to kill myself? Or is that when i get to the point where i'm not trusting him anymore? I'm really not sure about that one just yet.

With every cut, burn or bruise

every lie Satan uses

When the pain drives me crazy

And pills catch my eyes

I will Trust You

[Role Modlin]

With every cut, burn or bruise

Every lie Satan uses

When the pain drives me crazy

and the pills become a friend

I will Trust You

When a husband hits his wife

A girl's killed by her dad

When an orphan starves to death

And the church sits on its hands

I will Trust you

Try it like this.

[Becky]

eh.. doesn't really work.. i guess pills becoming a friend would work.. except it would totally change the meaning... I was going for the idea of suicide, but that would indicate a drug problem instead.. i could go with that though if you think it is better,

is the concept of a girl being killed better then raped? I don't know, father's raping their daughters, wife beating, and children starving are all things that often happen.. fathers killing their daughters isn't as common.. perhaps that's better? but logically it doesn't fit so much with the other two, it seams out of place.. Do you really think the concept is better??

let me know what you guys think?

can't use the church sits on it's hands.

[Nomes]

Hi Becky

What about...

A girl's abused by her dad

'Raped' is quite a striking word in comparison with the feel/flow of the rest of the song...

Just a thought. But it's a well written song

[Becky]

we already have abuse with wife,

[finchfeeder]

The church sitting on its hands is very poetic. I like it. I would use it.

Using the word rape does not bother me. It happens. It is ok to say so.