Hard feelings.

ShawnTheNoob · 11-30-2006, 11:56 PM

My girlfriend, possibly soon to be wife, irritates me. Not on purpose.

Her past irritates me. She seems to have been abit 'cheap' in her day. She decided she needed to admit to it. Shes had sexual relations with several guys I know in the past 3 years. It disgusts me. I can't look at her the same. Everytime I think i'm over it one of the guys shows up and it brings these hard feelings back to life.

Problem is this: It disgusts me, but I don't know why it bothers me so much. Just the thought of my girlfriend, or wife, sleeping or having slept with someone else is insane. I can't deal with it. She acts like its no big deal. She says she regrets it but at the same time I feel like I could be just another person she is toying with. She swares i'm not and ,all in all, I feel like she really does love me. Question is, for how long? How do I overcome these feelings? How do I not want to bash my so called 'friends' heads in with a piece of lumber?

Ax · 12-01-2006, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob

My girlfriend, possibly soon to be wife, irritates me. Not on purpose.

Her past irritates me. She seems to have been abit 'cheap' in her day. She decided she needed to admit to it. Shes had sexual relations with several guys I know in the past 3 years. It disgusts me. I can't look at her the same. Everytime I think i'm over it one of the guys shows up and it brings these hard feelings back to life.

Problem is this: It disgusts me, but I don't know why it bothers me so much. Just the thought of my girlfriend, or wife, sleeping or having slept with someone else is insane. I can't deal with it. She acts like its no big deal. She says she regrets it but at the same time I feel like I could be just another person she is toying with. She swares i'm not and ,all in all, I feel like she really does love me. Question is, for how long? How do I overcome these feelings? How do I not want to bash my so called 'friends' heads in with a piece of lumber?

I really don't know what to say man. That's why I really encourage people, even non-Christians to practice abstinence until marriage, one of MANY reasons. I can only say this though, if it's a hang up now, getting married will only make this feeling worse. Every couple fights and if you resent her now then you will only grow to resent her more. You need to forgive her, or move on.

Chris · 12-01-2006, 12:19 AM

Who are we to not forgive others' sins despite God doing so freely? Whether or not you can personally go ahead and marry this girl, you need to forgive her. Before anything can progress you need to do this.

passinthru · 12-01-2006, 06:42 AM

If you can't get past this then you need to walk away. She knows what she did was wrong. It is something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. She has to handle that. You holding it over her head is not going to help either of you or your relationship.

Whether the two of you stay together or not, you need to forgive her, as Chris said.

ShawnTheNoob · 12-01-2006, 09:10 AM

I understand that but its not that easy.

Jonular · 12-01-2006, 11:28 AM

It's a whole lot to take it, but through the whole process don't forget that she did feel the need to tell you this. That is probably a good sign.

~Jon

nix · 12-06-2006, 06:42 PM

I don't think you have grounds to be in disgust with her when you yourself have admitted to falling into "her cheap ways" she may be your first but if you move on and marry someone else.... your wife will have to deal with you haveing slept with your current girlfriend.

You are jealouse because you have connected with her sexually... now you understand why it's so important for people to wait till they are married.... They don't have to deal with the emotional turmoil that you are experiencing now.

cytorath · 12-07-2006, 06:28 AM

You need to understand that the past is just that, the past. She felt a need to tell you about it so that there wouldn't be any secrets between the two of you. My wife and I were in the same situation except that it was both of us. We were honest with each other and we have decided to leave the past where it belongs, behind us. We have started a new life together and have made a pledge through marriage that we will be faithful to each other.