Teenage drinking

joshua.lee.90 · 11-13-2006, 08:52 PM

Hi im a christian teenager and im just cant believe how dependent some people are on alcohol. In my church i know several people who drink and most of them can handel themselves(not to say its good that they are doing it), but there is this guy. He is one year older than me and hes a small guy. He isnt very shy until it comes to expressing his feelings. Hes having small birthday party with people from our church and hes planed to drink then go bowling. As a friend ive tried to talk to him and after a while he just wanted to stip talking about it. i know he knows its bad but its just his way of coming out. He said that is why he drinks so he can talk to people at parties and ask people to dance. I tired talking to him gentely but he really doesnt want to talk about it. Does any one know what to do in this situation?

Kiss the Son · 11-13-2006, 09:44 PM

It seems that he drinks mostly because it boosts his confidence. The only thing I can suggest is trying to help his find positive ways in which he can be more confident around people. Be there to support him while he tries those ways out; that will also help his confidence.

All I can say is that, people will drink, regardless of what most people say. I personally am not opposed to drinking, when it's legal and in moderation. I'm only 18 and have had alcohol under my parents supervision, and I still consider that to be okay. But I share your disgust on the teenage drinking problem.

Anyway...that's my two cents.

jael>rock< · 11-14-2006, 10:30 AM

it's amazing that this guy does this and gets away with it. do his parents know what's going on, or are they even in the picture? and is he old enough to legally drink? i don't care if it is legal, and his parents don't care or maybe even encourage this, but it's not a healthy practice. This could very easily lead to, with a self-esteem drop, becoming dependant on drinking. i don't think that there's really anything that you can do, except, lead by example of not drinking and be there for him and try to bring out his more exuberant side without alcohol. he already knows where you stand, so i would say not to try and push it on him too much.

SccHarpGirl · 11-14-2006, 10:59 AM

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so perhaps your friend just feels really awkward in social situations, and alcohol helps him relax enough to have a good time.

That being said, I think a little alcohol in social situations, particularly those that have a tendency to be awkward, is a good thing. But breaking the law is certainly NOT cool, even if the law is pretty retarded.

That being said, IS he breaking the law? I don't know where you are at...the drinking age is 21 in the states but if you and your friend are in somewhere where the drinking is legal for you guys, then I don't see a problem unless he's becoming dependent on it.

I'd address the problem with him from the angle of "what you are doing is illegal and can have serious consequences not just for you but for everyone else with you if this gets found out.

And if he's driving to the bowling alley, then he's drinking and driving if he's pregaming beforehand, and that is wrong enough that I'd consider either yourself acting as a Designated driver for them, or informing proper adult authorities, because people can get killed by drunken driving.

**Chrysostom** · 11-14-2006, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joshua.lee.90

Hi im a christian teenager and im just cant believe how dependent some people are on alcohol. In my church i know several people who drink and most of them can handel themselves(not to say its good that they are doing it), but there is this guy. He is one year older than me and hes a small guy. He isnt very shy until it comes to expressing his feelings. Hes having small birthday party with people from our church and hes planed to drink then go bowling. As a friend ive tried to talk to him and after a while he just wanted to stip talking about it. i know he knows its bad but its just his way of coming out. He said that is why he drinks so he can talk to people at parties and ask people to dance. I tired talking to him gentely but he really doesnt want to talk about it. Does any one know what to do in this situation?

His drinking is a symptom, not a problem. Drinking is a crutch for him. He doesn't feel like he's good enough, so he needs to drink. Drinking in the Bible, on the other hand, is always about celebration -- rejoicing and resting in God's peace.

joshua.lee.90 · 11-14-2006, 03:52 PM

Well it is illegal to drink for our age and he isnt driving to the bowling place. hes taking public transit. I dont drink i have tried with them but i do agree it is alright in moderation. Well he invited people from our church to this party and he is the oldest grade in our youth group and im just worried its a bad example. I know the people who do drink in our church got influenced by the older people in our church so i know its not much stoping them. I am just worried about this guy becuase he is really small and the time i went with them he passed out and just health concerns like that. I wondering if i should go to look out for him and some of the younger people.

**Chrysostom** · 11-14-2006, 04:04 PM

I wouldn't be too concerned health-wise unless he is drinking more than 20 drinks at a time. He is young and his body can handle all sorts of abuse.

However, I would be concerned about the kind of person he is being -- does he need to find his identity in a bottle? He needs to know that he is someone who doesn't need to do that. This means not just condemning what he is doing or even offering cheesy alternatives, but instead it means somehow connecting him with a real alternative lifestyle that doesn't depend on alcohol as its god. (Usually alcohol dependence like this means that he is constantly switching between valuing himself above all else and valuing others' opinions of him above all else.)

**Rainer.** · 11-14-2006, 07:38 PM

Quote:

i do agree it is alright in moderation.

Since when is breaking the law alright "in moderation"?

joshua.lee.90 · 11-16-2006, 09:23 PM

well i was talking about drinking in general not underaged

**bread man** · 11-16-2006, 10:57 PM

I've just turned 18 (legal age) and I've had quite a number of underage people (both christian and non christian) ask me to buy alcohol for them. It really bothers me.

In this thread, I agree with everything than John Roberson has said. I know a few people like this.

bobthecockroach · 11-16-2006, 11:08 PM

Buy em a bottle of rubbing alcohol...

...ok, maybe not a great idea, they may drink it in desperation.

Mattlock · 11-24-2006, 06:24 PM

I'm not trying to condone it, but if you're worried about him getting caught for having alcohol/being intoxicated, then don't worry about it. I've only heard of one person in my town (and it'll get out pretty fast where I live) of people getting busted for possesion of illegal substances, and that was because they were using them right in front of police.

And if he does get caught, it'll hopefully teach him a lesson, and he'll stop.