[kcdancer]

This is my first post to the message board, but I've been reading posts for a while. I'm just kind of confused at the moment. So, I feel like I'm a teenager again and not in my 20s, but hey, you can't help when you're confused right?

So I've been hanging out with a guy for the past month. We formed a friendship pretty quickly after meeting (he's new in town and so I befriended him.) We hung out every weekend at a worship service then would sit afterwards and just talk for hours. It feels like we've known each other forever. Pretty cool, a little intimidating, but cool.

After hanging out the first couple weeks, he told me that he was "crazy about me" and I told him my feelings were the same. We decided to remain friends though and not rush anything.

So, both of our lives got busy the past 2 weeks with work, school, life, etc. Just a lot going on. We haven't actually seen each other in about 2.5 weeks. We've talked on the phone a couple times, but that's all.

Is is annoying to guys if a girl (just a friend) emails or calls them more than they call/email? That probably sounds dumb, but I just don't want to be annoying or seem clingy. I have missed talking to him and all, but I don't want to pester him.

I actually like him a lot, but I've had a hard time expressing my liking of boys in the past. Not sure why, but I've always felt awkward about it. He tells me all the time that I'm amazing, beautiful, etc, but I just don't want to get my hopes up that something more will come of our friendship. Is it best to try not to like him romantically? If so, how?

Also, if he told me he's crazy about me and then decided that he wasn't, what are signs of this? I know that is a general question and everyone is different, but I just thought I'd get some opinions.

Okay, thanks in advance if anyone responds. Sorry if this seems long or like dumb questions!

[Peatrical]

Is is annoying to guys if a girl (just a friend) emails or calls them more than they call/email? That probably sounds dumb, but I just don't want to be annoying or seem clingy. I have missed talking to him and all, but I don't want to pester him.

Well I think it depends more on the person then the gender, but I'd say it's better to call and email a lot since that atleast shows you care, if you do less than you may seem distant.

Hope that helps.

[OctaviusIII]

Well, sounds like you're a bit nervous about it, so the first order of business is to calm yourself. Calm.

Don't worry about contacting him often. If you want a set rule, be in touch once every other day, maybe every day if you feel up for it. If calling seems to make his day, then up it somewhat.

Definitely don't worry about the signs of a faltering attraction. What you have right now is a guy that is crazy about you, and you're crazy about him, and all signs point towards that being true. Let yourself fall for him!

[wjarmusch]

Originally Posted by OctaviusIII

Well, sounds like you're a bit nervous about it, so the first order of business is to calm yourself. Calm.

Don't worry about contacting him often. If you want a set rule, be in touch once every other day, maybe every day if you feel up for it. If calling seems to make his day, then up it somewhat.

Definitely don't worry about the signs of a faltering attraction. What you have right now is a guy that is crazy about you, and you're crazy about him, and all signs point towards that being true. Let yourself fall for him!

I prettty much agree, as a guy I love to get emails & calls from my female friends for no reason, just to talk. I think if he's really crazy about you than it will make his day to hear from you.
Just try to relax! Chill, and get to know each other. Sounds like you're in a good situation.
And no, those weren't dumb questions.

[Rainer.]

Is is annoying to guys if a girl (just a friend) emails or calls them more than they call/email? That probably sounds dumb, but I just don't want to be annoying or seem clingy. I have missed talking to him and all, but I don't want to pester him.

Well, I'll go ahead and say that wouldn't be a problem if he's "crazy about you," he probably loves it. Keep your relationship based on honesty, and if it's annoying he'll tell you, and if you find his calling habits annoying, you should tell him.

Just keep it real.

[Andrew]

My best advice:

Call the dude and tell him that you have really felt the distance between the two of you over the past two and a half weeks, and ask if he has too. If he hasn't, the relationship was probably just a flash in the pan, and it would be better to withdraw before it gets anymore serious and you get hurt further.

[Pre-Ex-Girlfriend]

I agree with Andrew; it seems like a good idea to talk to the guy about how you are feeling. If he really is so crazy about you, then he'll want to talk about it, right?

[the crossing]

everything is easier said than done.
my best advise is what that dude above me said. just tell him how you have been feeling.
im kinda going through the same problem! i have this girl shes really cool we are really good freinds but id like more in our relationship but im not sure how to go about doing so etc.
and dont forget also to pray about it!
sorry for adding my 5 cents!!

[kcdancer]

Thank you all for your responses. I just hate the whole guy/girl games. I've never understood them and I've never been good at them. I just want to be able to call someone when I want to or email when I want to and not worry about if it's been 2 days or if he contacted me first.

What about response time? Do guys have "rules" in how long it takes them to respond or is it just whenever they feel like it? Do guys care as much as girls about these things? Girls seem to sweat the small stuff, but I never hear if guys do the same.

Thanks again for your help.

[kcdancer]

Originally Posted by the crossing

i have this girl shes really cool we are really good freinds but id like more in our relationship but im not sure how to go about doing so etc.
sorry for adding my 5 cents!!

You posted at the same time I did! My advice to you is to do the same. Talk to her (this seems really hard and I'm not sure why. I'm nervous about talking to the guy in my situation. I just don't want things to get awkward.) Is she giving you signs that she likes you? I've had good and bad endings with these situations where one of my guy friends expresses his intrest in me when I'm not interested in him the same way. In the bad, the relationship just got awkward, but in the good we worked through our situation and remained friends.

My advice is as you advised me. Talk to her. Otherwise you'll never know what might have happened. (Now, if I could only follow my own advice!)
Good luck and God bless!

[Luder]

Is is annoying to guys if a girl (just a friend) emails or calls them more than they call/email? That probably sounds dumb, but I just don't want to be annoying or seem clingy. I have missed talking to him and all, but I don't want to pester him.

I don't think he'll find it annoying if you innitiate the conversation, especially if he has even a remote interest, or even likes you as a good friend. The only situation i see where a girl calling would be annoying was if the guy didn't like her and she was constantly calling.

For example today I was thinking how I hadn't talked to a good friend of mine thats a girl for a couple days and I should probably text her after work or something and then she calls me while i'm driving just to say she saw me at an intersection and it made my day.

So I guess what I'm saying through all this long windedness is that if you want to, call/email/text him whatever. Don't feel like he has to contact you first. He'll probably be happy that you called.

Oh and one more thing and I promise i'll shut up. if you feel nervous about calling or emailing because you don't want to start a conversation for whatever reason...go on an instant messaging service if you both use one. That way, there doesn't have to be a "reason" to call, you're just both online at the same time.

[wjarmusch]

Originally Posted by kcdancer

Thank you all for your responses. I just hate the whole guy/girl games. I've never understood them and I've never been good at them. I just want to be able to call someone when I want to or email when I want to and not worry about if it's been 2 days or if he contacted me first.

What about response time? Do guys have "rules" in how long it takes them to respond or is it just whenever they feel like it? Do guys care as much as girls about these things? Girls seem to sweat the small stuff, but I never hear if guys do the same.

Thanks again for your help.

I personally don't have any rules like that. I don't care if it's been 2 days since I was emailed or if I get 3 emails at the same time (which happens sometimes). Don't flood him with emails if he doesn't answer them right away, if you know what I mean. As far as calling...just do it when you feel like it. If he you think it might be bugging him just ask him. Keep it simple. No games needed.

[OctaviusIII]

I agree; games aren't good in such a situation. Sometimes, though, if I'm really in the dark as to what I should be doing, I try to set up a few flexible guidelines for myself.

[the crossing]

Originally Posted by kcdancer

You posted at the same time I did! My advice to you is to do the same. Talk to her (this seems really hard and I'm not sure why. I'm nervous about talking to the guy in my situation. I just don't want things to get awkward.) Is she giving you signs that she likes you? I've had good and bad endings with these situations where one of my guy friends expresses his intrest in me when I'm not interested in him the same way. In the bad, the relationship just got awkward, but in the good we worked through our situation and remained friends.

My advice is as you advised me. Talk to her. Otherwise you'll never know what might have happened. (Now, if I could only follow my own advice!)
Good luck and God bless!

Hahaha! thanks for that! i should let ya know how u go!! lol!
Dudes dont have rules they just do what ever i mean i have no strict rules or whatever! if someone told me they like me or what ever i would go yuuuussssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! and dance around stupidly!! lol!
Good luck with yours!
remember to stay cool till after school in the spa pool!
Dan

[Chris]

Originally Posted by the crossing

Hahaha! thanks for that! i should let ya know how u go!! lol!
Dudes dont have rules they just do what ever i mean i have no strict rules or whatever! if someone told me they like me or what ever i would go yuuuussssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! and dance around stupidly!! lol!
Good luck with yours!
remember to stay cool till after school in the spa pool!
Dan

So you're advocating having no boundaries whatsoever? Please tell me that I've misinterpreted this.

Also, please clean up your language into a little bit more formal English. It'll be quite a bit easier for everyone to understand.