[Thamar]

The followning were notes taken from a "focus on the family" broadcast earlier this year.

Solomon on Romance, Part One
Tommy Nelson
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/F...?bcd=2006-6-21

Dating can be painful but not as compared to courtship.

Dating Vs Courtship

Treat them like a prince or princess to bring them to your way of thinking and to trust you.

Dating is Observation Courtship takes you intentionally to marriage
Courtship is Depth
Dating is Marketing Courtship is the Close


Four things for good courtship

1. The wisdom to properly evaluate the character of the person. What you see is what you get. You are to be willing to be able to live with what you see. You can’t seek to change them latter. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to change a person not yours.

2. You have to have consistency in dating. Breaking and making up will not help you in marriage. You can’t not be able to bench-press 150 lbs and then think you can move up to 500 lbs and expect it to work. You can’t expect to not get along during dating and expect marriage will change things.

3. You have to have the (High level ) sensitivity of communication. Communicate sooner rather than later whether you want to spend more time with each other. Don’t drag it on. Be honest with each other about the direction you’d like it to go.

4. You have to have patients in letting the relationship go along (grow without letting it escalate too quickly). Don’t share too much too deep and too soon. Don’t spend too much time together. Don’t bond too quickly. Keep your hands off each other. Don’t kiss before you can be committed to being responsible to hold her heart. Prov 25:16, 17

16 Have you found [pleasure sweet like] honey? Eat only as much as is sufficient for you, lest, being filled with it, you vomit it.

17Let your foot seldom be in your neighbor's house, lest he become tired of you and hate you.

What a man should feel when he is climbing into courtship Song of Solomon 2: 8. He wants to get closer. Vs 9 it’s spring time and its time for growth and life. Your spiritual relationship should not go down. Time should produce life.

You should feel desire and life when around this person.

Vs 14. Something that you do, She is an innocent dove up in the clefts of the rock. To a dove in the cleft of the rock there is nothing more frightening than a man’s hands. Be gentle. Jesus presents us with no sport or blemish. Christ can forgive anything. If you can forgive like God forgives there’s nothing you can’t get through. If a woman has been hurt very deeply you are to be prepared to take that girl and hold her so closely that she will not be hurt again. And vise versa.

You’re going to learn things with time. Things that you may not like. What do you do when you start finding out the flaws of your mate. You and your mate are going to be emery boards, as iron sharpeneth iron. Little things will chip away at your relationship. What do you do?

Part Two http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/F...International/

Courtship

Song of Solomon Ch 2 Catch us the little foxes. (unresolved conflict) You’ve got to learn how to fight clean/fair. Tennis volley, toom, toom, toom toom toom. You have to talk. Men don’t like to talk they channel change. The woman will not play any more (by herself i.e.). You men/ladies must listen. Men don’t give a logical response, it won’t work. Apathetic people e.g. poom, poom and the guy goes pusssssh. That won’t work.

All through the song of Solomon the wife refers to her body as a vineyard. Ch 1 I haven’t taken care of my vineyard later Soloman says he is going to reap from his vineyard. At the end of the book she’s going to take her body and tieth her best to her husband. A Hebrew scholar gave an explanation for the word vineyard. He says that every couple struggle with premarital sexual sins. If you don’t lust young man you’ve got a problem. We all struggle. If you don’t deal with the foxes that get into your relationship your vineyard will not come into fruition.

Firstly; Never borrow excessively. Secondly; Never be unforgiving. Thirdly: Never get into premarital sex. God can restore the years the locust have eaten/stolen. Mary Magdaline, Zacheus, Paul, David God can restore. Don’t think that you are un-redeemable.

Honeymoon. You don’t want a business honeymoon. You want to turn around and see that woman and go Uhhhh. Enjoy it, each other. (Duet 24:5 the man must not go to work or to war for at least a year). The honeymoon is important.

In the book of Joel God can restore what the locus have stolen. I’ve watch some couples go through some tough times. Jesus fix it.

Song Of Solomon 2:16 This girl’s got trust. He knows me and I know him and I trust him. Vs 16 She sees herself like a sheep laid down in green pastures. She says to herself “He cares for me”. “He pastures his flock….. Vs 17 (all night long) now what is that. There is no actual Hills of Bether. What this means is that a young stud climes up on the twin hills all night long. It’s talking about the breasts of the woman. She wants this man all night long. Now you know why this book is not taught.

3:1 – 3

Vs three her mother’s house, why because she wants her mother’s consent. This woman wants him emotionally and physically.

Vs 5…. Don’t awaken love until it pleases…. Not now just wait. She was passionate in dating, in courtship. Ladies who takes the lead? The Guy does. There is nothing more wrong than a man who won’t take the lead.

[Nate]

[Nate]

I have a feeling I would have more to say if I could make any sense out of the post.

[Joseph352]

I agree with Nate. It was hard to follow your writing (punctuation problems, i.e.) and the way you worded everything. It looks like you copied everything out of a textbook or someone's sermon notes and posted it here. Or at least, that is how it looks to me.

All through the song of Solomon the wife refers to her body as a vineyard. Ch 1 I haven’t taken care of my vineyard later Soloman says he is going to reap from his vineyard. At the end of the book she’s going to take her body and tieth her best to her husband. A Hebrew scholar gave an explanation for the word vineyard. He says that every couple struggle with premarital sexual sins. If you don’t lust young man you’ve got a problem. We all struggle. If you don’t deal with the foxes that get into your relationship your vineyard will not come into fruition.

I didn't quite get that. Did you mean that we are supposed to lust in our lifetime? if so, then why did God say that lusting is adultery and adultery is a sin?

Are you married? have you had to deal with any of this or are you still single? personally I don't think single people are quallified to write about courtship 'til after they are married. Now I am not saying anything bad about you, I just would like to know where you stand.

[Thamar]

These notes are just that. Notes. I was listening to a broadcast and took down some of the main points the speaker brought out. I also placed the link there in case anyone cared to listen to the broadcast for himself/herself:

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/F...?bcd=2006-6-21

Basically the thought is that Courtship is different to dating. One leads to marriage the other is less significant. They are interrelated yet different. Dating can lead into Courtship, while Courtship goes much deeper than dating. And the speaker proceeds to give some guidelines to courtship.

[Thamar]

Originally Posted by Joseph352

I agree with Nate. It was hard to follow your writing (punctuation problems, i.e.) and the way you worded everything. It looks like you copied everything out of a textbook or someone's sermon notes and posted it here. Or at least, that is how it looks to me.



I didn't quite get that. Did you mean that we are supposed to lust in our lifetime? if so, then why did God say that lusting is adultery and adultery is a sin?

Are you married? have you had to deal with any of this or are you still single? personally I don't think single people are quallified to write about courtship 'til after they are married. Now I am not saying anything bad about you, I just would like to know where you stand.

Lust is an intense desire. Desires are good. The problem arises when these desires are out of control and also when they are directed at someone or something we can't or should not have. Lust starts in the mind and we are called to renew the mind and bring it in line with what God wants for us.

There is a difference between dogs in heat and a married couple who make love. The dogs do it with no care for where, when, how or who. A married couple on the other hand come under Gods plan for his children. An unmarried couple who copulate (and profess to be Christian) are not lined up with God's plan. Desire does get intense in marriage (or lese there would be cause for concern )

[Thamar]

Please read the related bible verses to get the thoughts.

[Nate]

Originally Posted by Thamar

Basically the thought is that Courtship is different to dating. One leads to marriage the other is less significant. They are interrelated yet different. Dating can lead into Courtship, while Courtship goes much deeper than dating. And the speaker proceeds to give some guidelines to courtship.

Yeah... except that's pure semantical hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo.

[Nate]

Originally Posted by Thamar

Dating can be painful but not as compared to courtship.

Honestly, you lost me after this sentence. It's just too damn funny.

[Joseph352]

so, Nate, where do you stand with courting and dating?

[wjarmusch]

Sounds interesting. I'd like to hear the whole thing, but I'm on Dial-up so I won't do it now. It's getting bookmarked though. However, you're link doesn't take you to that broadcast, just the overall site for broadcast's. What's the name of the 2 broadcasts. I don't have time right now but I have thoughts on this subject. I'll be back After I eat...

[SwitchfootRulz!]

Originally Posted by Thamar

Dating can be painful but not as compared to courtship.

So, what is this saying? Courting is less painful than dating?

[Thamar]

When people are dating an emotional bound begins to form. It is easyer to break off from dating. Courtship is much harder to break off. With courtship the couple have decided, in essence, that they are headed for marriage so the relationship goes deeper. There are many people who committee suiside when courtship is terminated.

[Simo]

Originally Posted by Thamar

These notes are just that. Notes. I was listening to a broadcast and took down some of the main points the speaker brought out. I also placed the link there in case anyone cared to listen to the broadcast for himself/herself:

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/F...?bcd=2006-6-21

Basically the thought is that Courtship is different to dating. One leads to marriage the other is less significant. They are interrelated yet different. Dating can lead into Courtship, while Courtship goes much deeper than dating. And the speaker proceeds to give some guidelines to courtship.

My Fiance and i have been dating for close to three years. We have a very deep and solid relationship. We are getting married in 9 months from today.

HA I just proved you wrong. Dating also leads into marriage, in fact it seems to me, and i have never been shown otherwise that dating is exactly the same as courtship ---- once you get rid of all your secular heavily Americanly tainted ideas of dating.


Americanly.... feel free to use it some time.

[Thamar]

I checked the site and that broadcast has moved up. They only keep a certain amount of the broadcasts online. Tommy Nelson has a book that deals with this topic indeapth.

http://www.christianbook.com/Christi...N&item_code=WW