[Mara's Mom]

Boundaries can be established at any point along the way. How else would we ever recover from parenting mistakes? Or how would we create new and healthy boundaries based on a child's development? That is something that has to be done over and over again with our children. Usually, the length and severity of battles that are waged over sleeping arrangements and bedtime and other such things, has more to do with the parents than the child. Have y'all watched Super Nanny? *laugh*

I think what Lee is describing and the family bed/co-sleeping are very different things.

[Role Modlin]

I will confess that Christopher and Geoffry slept with Robin quite a bit when I worked night shift. Neither were infants at the time so safety wasn't an issue. I also think it was more Robin's sake than theirs.

There were times when all three of ours slept in the bed with their mom when they were babies. Usually I was on the couch or asleep in my recliner when that happened. It wasn't a nightly thing though. Usually sickness led to that sort of thing.

[LefseRae]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

I hate to say this, but every time I see this thread I see Babes in bed, which makes my finger jumpy on the delete button fearing a troll. Then I see babies, and all is well and good in the world.

Lol, me too.

I will just say that I'm leaning towards the side of NOT. Because it seems to me that it would open up oportunities for sexual abuse, besides the danger of smothering or crushing your child. However, sleeping with the babies in bed is different from the nightmare-come snuggle scenario. *grins* I've done that a few times in my life. *nods*

[Role Modlin]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

I hate to say this, but every time I see this thread I see Babes in bed, which makes my finger jumpy on the delete button fearing a troll. Then I see babies, and all is well and good in the world.

As long as the babe in your bed is either your husband or wife...it's all good.

[Hopeful]

My wife and I decided that our three boys would not sleep in our bed. They were welcome on a Saturday morning if we were both awake and they wanted to join us. There were many reasons we did this, but the primary ones were: 1) there would be nothing or no one that would come between my wife and I; 2) safety; and 3) we did not want to have to "wean" the boys from this habit. Parenting is hard enough and we create enough problems for ourselves. We didn't need anything else.

[nix]

I'm with having a small bed in the same room for the first few months because I know too many instances of baby suffocating from the mother rolling on top of it and dieing!

Also the reasons of the bed is for my husband and I for sleeping and other intimate things.

The other thing which is what we will be inclinced to do is have the baby bed in a next door room.

The walls in this country are paper thin so you can here the person in the next room farting

[Role Modlin]

I guess we were really lucky. In retrospect, I think we may have done things differently...but I know it made things much easier on both Robin and the babies when they slept with her...especially when she was breastfeeding. Keep in mind that we attempted to take precautions when they slept with her. I was rarely in the bed with them and she always managed to put some sort of barrier between her and the babies.

If we had it to do over again I don't know what we would do.

[KFBobInsanesMom]

I never put my boys in bed with me. I don't even like the idea of nursing in bed, because it's much too easy to fall asleep and I just don't think it's safe to have an infant in bed when you are asleep.

[Here-am-I]

I really disagree with all of you.

Having your children in bed with you is absolutely and totally acceptable and safe.

My parents (very happily married for 32 years) have always let us (their five kids) sleep in their bed whenever we wanted to. Their bed was "the family bed". Each kid just stopped (or "weaned" - whatever you want to call it) sleeping in my parents' bed whenever they decided to stop. It's not a bad thing, actually, it's a good thing.

People say it's not safe having infants in your bed with you. And yet, me and all my siblings are totally fine. Seriously, it's not dangerous. When you're sleeping, your subconcious will be telling you "Hello! There's a baby in the bed next to you! Don't squish it!" and you won't. My mom said it's a parent thing. Yes, some children have been hurt, I won't deny that. But the fact is, almost all of the time, it's completely safe.

As for nursing in bed, it's totally normal for breastfed babies to nurse in bed with their mothers... and the mothers don't even wake up sometimes. It's true. My dad said he saw one of the kids just inch itself over to my mom and start nursing in the middle of the night and she didn't even stir. It's natural! And really, it's convienent too. I mean, who wants to get up and go to another room to feed the baby in the middle of the night? Why not just let the baby inch over, nurse itself, and go back to sleep?

So in summary: Go on. Let your kids sleep with you, and don't have second thoughts about it! It's completely, totally, and absolutely fine.

Yeah, I'm the crazy natural person. Let your kids sleep in bed with you, breastfeeding's best, and all that good stuff.

- Rebekah

[wjarmusch]

Let me just say this to save anyone from doing the same thing I just did.
This thread is from October 2006. I just read through the whole thing without realizing it.

On an on-topic note, maybe this is why I turned out so wierd, I must have gotten squished one too many times. No, seriously, I slept with my parents quite a bit...I turned out ok. But, you can't argue with emergency room doctors saying that there is some risk to it.

[Singin4Him82]

Originally Posted by Singin4Him82

Amen!! This is so dangerous!! If you're talking about co-sleeping that's another issue. Co-sleeping is where they have their beds in the same room as the parents and it's either pushed against the parents bed or close to it. That's a whole other debate, I think it's fine to have an infant in your room for the first couple months, especially when the mother is breastfeeding that early but after a couple months it's time to let the baby get used to their own space. Otherwise you will create a habit that will be close to impossible to break, just ask my parents lol.

O it is amazing how things change when you're actually in the situation. I have always said I would never have my baby in bed but I have actually changed my opinion, having a colicky screaming infant who won't sleep unless he's held will certainly do that to you. My son became colicky about 4 weeks old and my husband became zombies which was not good for our relationship as well as taking care of our son. I am no use to my baby if I am exhausted. So after MUCH research I chose to put him in bed with us. I do nurse him so that makes it more convenient as well.

We take all the precautions to keep him safe as we have done the research on all that as well. A baby does not understand cause and effect until about 6 months, therefore it is nearly impossible to "spoil" them. I know many parents who slept with their babies until about 4 or 5 months who went to their own beds without putting up a fuss. The problem arises when you wait until they are toddlers, you better prepare yourself for a fight if you wait that long.

When it comes to the parents relationship it just requires more creativity, it doesn't have to effect the marriage if you don't let it .

[Here-am-I]

Oh my, sorry, I saw it on the first page and figured it was recent.
Silly me.

- Rebekah

[danalyn]

Originally Posted by wjarmusch

Let me just say this to save anyone from doing the same thing I just did.
This thread is from October 2006. I just read through the whole thing without realizing it.

thankyou for that. good observational powers.


We're looking at the Close and Secure sleeper. I'm a fan of the idea of having the baby near us for the first while but want to be able to establish a practice of her/him having their own bed

[wjarmusch]

Originally Posted by Here-am-I

Oh my, sorry, I saw it on the first page and figured it was recent.
Silly me.

- Rebekah

and I saw it in the "newest post in marriage & parenting" so I didn't think twice before I read it all.

thankyou for that. good observational powers.

Thanks, but it's taken me quite a while to learn to look at the date of the thread. We need a "thread created on" as well as the date of last post.

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by wjarmusch

But, you can't argue with emergency room doctors saying that there is some risk to it.

Apparently you can...