boys boys boys

twin2006 · 09-30-2006, 12:22 AM

they are every where. it seems everywhere i turn here is this godly man who is opening doors, or taking me dancing, or offering me rides across the state to see my family or just calling to say hi. and of course all of em are attractive. y? i really am not ready to look into something serious with a guy. but if i was i would totally have too many choices. well that might be true also if those guys were interested in me! or didnt think of me a s a lil sis. but other than that guys rock!

Kato · 09-30-2006, 02:08 AM

If you are sitting there at the point where you're sitting there and thinking "Alright, what guy should I choose?" I feel that is completly wrong, and if I knew that as the guy, I would honestly feel kind of offended. Wait untill you have this exact interest in ONE guy. Not several guys, that's just asking for a rocky relationship. You're going to be turning 18 in less than a month so it's your decision whether to start dating or not, but what it seems like is, you're not even ready to make the choice to start dating.

Sooo, my question is.. what exactly are you looking for advice with?

Also you said, they think of you as a lil sis. Unless they are actually much older, don't take that to heart, I can tell you right now I've told that to my current girlfriend of almost two years before we were going out.

But to clarify, I don't want to accuse anyone of lying and they may actually look at you that way.

**Rainer.** · 09-30-2006, 09:58 AM

Since you're not interested in any relationships right now, why stress about the "if"s?

I agree with the sentiments of the last post. In essence, if you don't totally know which of them you want to have a relationship with, then you're not ready for a relationsip with any of them.

twin2006 · 09-30-2006, 12:17 PM

i am not really looking for advise i probably shouldnt have posted it. im not wondering which to choose cuz i really dont wanna start dating. for some reason i just felt like all these really awesome guys keep popping up at the wrong time. like if one of them were to show up in a couple years i would fall hard.

OctaviusIII · 09-30-2006, 01:02 PM

Well, I've never been one for giving an absolute no to dating, but I don't know the context so I can't comment.

And my other opinion is a response to Kato's comment. Basically, I whole-heartedly disagree with the idea that liking more than one person at one time is completely wrong. It's natural, it's how things go, and it's not something i'd actively discourage. Back in the day people would go on dates with different people all the time (ask your parents!). I do, however, think that dating (going steady, as they'd say in the day) more than one person at a time is a bad idea. Anywho, that's just me.

Have fun with where you are, twin! Times like this are rare, so enjoy!

JaytheK · 09-30-2006, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OctaviusIII

...Basically, I whole-heartedly disagree with the idea that liking more than one person at one time is completely wrong. It's natural, it's how things go, and it's not something i'd actively discourage.

It is natural to sin. It's just the way things go. Like, in my natural state, I like doing what I want to do, even if that means I'm sinning. Sin is definately not something that my natural self would discourage.

Granted, I'm not saying that "liking" two people at the same time is sin, I'm just saying it's a bad idea and definately not biblical. Just because people in the "good-ol-days" used to do something does not make it right.

wjarmusch · 09-30-2006, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaytheK

It is natural to sin. It's just the way things go. Like, in my natural state, I like doing what I want to do, even if that means I'm sinning. Sin is definately not something that my natural self would discourage.

Granted, I'm not saying that "liking" two people at the same time is sin, I'm just saying it's a bad idea and definately not biblical. Just because people in the "good-ol-days" used to do something does not make it right.

Sorry Octavious, but I agree. Just because it's what "naturally happens" doesn't mean it's right. I'm not saying it's sin...or always wrong. I'm just saying that when you start liking more than one person @ a time then most often it will start getting you in trouble.

I'm thinking more like Kato, that if you don't know which one you like then you should at least wait to figure it out and not just try one and see if you like it and then try another one. Sure that's how the modern dating culture is...but is it right? I guess it depends on what you believe.

OctaviusIII · 09-30-2006, 04:46 PM

Well, wise and sinful are two different things, and unbiblical is a third. I don't think it's wise to date someone if you're attracted to someone else at the same time. At the same time, I don't think that attraction is sinful. Lust is, but attraction? I think we'll have to agree to disagree. As for unbiblical, I don't think the bible even weighs in on this debate.

JaytheK · 09-30-2006, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OctaviusIII

Well, wise and sinful are two different things, and unbiblical is a third. I don't think it's wise to date someone if you're attracted to someone else at the same time. At the same time, I don't think that attraction is sinful. Lust is, but attraction? I think we'll have to agree to disagree. As for unbiblical, I don't think the bible even weighs in on this debate.

I think most people will agree that there's a difference between finding someone to be attractive and actually being attracted to that someone. If you are talking about the former, I agree with you: nothing wrong with noting objective attractiveness. However, if you're saying that it's not un-wise to be attracted to two or more people, I disagree. You can, to a certain degree, control your "attraction emotion", and I believe you should if you're attracted (romantically) to more then one person.

I say this because God gave us romantic feelings so that ultimately they would culminate in marriage. God only intended man to be married to one person, so I think it can be safely inplied that one should try their best to be attracted to only one person.

Then again, I could be stretching that logic a bit too far, and I could be wrong. But currently that's how I see it.

twin2006 · 09-30-2006, 11:27 PM

i didnt mean to start a debate. i dont think that dating is sinful. nor do i think having crushes is. i think God made guys attractive and girls attracted to those guys for a reason. im just not ready to take part in all of it yet with school and everything else i need to settle in my life.
i think i agree with octavious tho. i mean i dont see me saying or thinking that guys rock is a sin. its the thinking that i should go against what i have already purposed in my heart in order to reach my goals that im a m afraid of. i mean it would be easy to give up and follow guys instead of my future but im not.

OctaviusIII · 09-30-2006, 11:40 PM

Nah, didn't think you meant to start a debate, but I'm a politics major, so debate is a bit of a hobby.

Since, however, I don't see this debate going anywhere except the biblical basis of monogamy over polygamy (which is tighter than one might think), I'm going to simply agree to disagree. Without context, I don't think that one could judge the wisdom of being attracted to more than one person at once. So long as we're talking wisdom here and not sin, I think we're simply in the realm of opinion.

So, twin - good luck to you, and have fun!

wjarmusch · 10-01-2006, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twin2006

i didnt mean to start a debate. i dont think that dating is sinful. nor do i think having crushes is. i think God made guys attractive and girls attracted to those guys for a reason. im just not ready to take part in all of it yet with school and everything else i need to settle in my life.
i think i agree with octavious tho. i mean i dont see me saying or thinking that guys rock is a sin. its the thinking that i should go against what i have already purposed in my heart in order to reach my goals that im a m afraid of. i mean it would be easy to give up and follow guys instead of my future but im not.

You didn't start the debate...I think it's an on-going thing from other threads.
I don't think anyone thinks that what you said was "sin" or even wrong. We were just talking about possibilities. I think what you said was great. How can I disagree with "guys rock"?

Quote:

As for unbiblical, I don't think the bible even weighs in on this debate.

I totally agree with you octavious that there really isn't a biblical standerd here, it's just your own beliefs on the subject.

Quote:

I say this because God gave us romantic feelings so that ultimately they would culminate in marriage. God only intended man to be married to one person, so I think it can be safely inplied that one should try their best to be attracted to only one person.

I do agree with this though too...so there really isn't a clear answer here.

Gwenny · 10-01-2006, 08:52 AM

I understand where you are coming from. I am going to college in January, and I just met an awsome guy not too long ago. It always seems that as I am getting ready to start a new journey/chapter in my life, that's when I meet a guy that I'm interested in or is interested in me. I just see it as the devil throwing distractions in my way right now. Not that guy is evil or of the devil or anything like that, but this is not the first this has happened to me. I don't want to get serious with a guy, especially when I am finally getting ready to go back to college.

**H.M. Murdock** · 10-01-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twin2006

they are every where. it seems everywhere i turn here is this godly man who is opening doors, or taking me dancing, or offering me rides across the state to see my family or just calling to say hi. and of course all of em are attractive. y? i really am not ready to look into something serious with a guy. but if i was i would totally have too many choices. well that might be true also if those guys were interested in me! or didnt think of me a s a lil sis. but other than that guys rock!

I am curious as to why these things make you stress about being interested in them. Does doing those things make you a good guy or something? Can you be sure they are Godly, or are you just going by how they talk?

Either way, don't sweat it. They're being nice as people. Don't think about marrying or getting into a relationship with guys you don't know. *shrug*

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 10-02-2006, 03:12 PM

I am a firm believer in the fact that when you are attracted to someone, it isn't a subtle matter of choice.

When you are really interested in someone it needs to be on the basis of knowing them.