This Girl

heisouronlyhope · 09-18-2006, 11:10 AM

There is this Girl l've like'd her for the last 3 years of my life but I need to stop liking her because its destroying our friend-ship we have....I'd like to like her as a sister because sisters aren't kissable in that way.......but I'm not sure how to do that....And I know God doesn't want me to like her more then a friend now so..... I could use some advice for what I should do.

**akaukal** · 09-18-2006, 02:44 PM

You're gonna hate this, but it's key. Time. Time is pretty much the only thing. Just tell yourself that you can't like her like that. Time is the only way along with lots of prayer.

Shakespeare · 09-18-2006, 03:26 PM

How does she feel about you?

OctaviusIII · 09-18-2006, 10:17 PM

Now, normally I would say just enjoy her company; let your attraction want that friendship and nothing more. However, it doesn't sound like it's a simple emotional attraction at all but is much more of an infatuation. This may sound somewhat counterintuitive, and it may make me sound like an ass (again), but here's my suggestion: stop fighting it head-on. Accept that you feel as you do, but also stop thinking about it, stop mulling over it, stop encouraging it or beating it. Just be friends.

Now, if just being around her makes you want to make out with her, then spend some time, like a week, apart. Talk on the phone, don't invite her out someplace, and don't get into difficult situations when alone. Don't fight it, don't accept it, but just let slip from your mind when you first catch a glimpse of such a thought.

KaweenFunee · 09-18-2006, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by akaukal

You're gonna hate this, but it's key. Time. Time is pretty much the only thing. Just tell yourself that you can't like her like that. Time is the only way along with lots of prayer.

Yuppers. Patterbee's right. But I gotta add listen. Some people pray their heart out, but if they don't listen to God then they'll never truly know his will. So yeah, pray about it, give it time, and who knows dude? Maybe she feels the same way for you, but won't say anything for the sake of the friendship..
Godbless,
xx

cess4jesus · 09-19-2006, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heisouronlyhope

....And I know God doesn't want me to like her more then a friend now so..... I could use some advice for what I should do.

Wow! That's a tough decision,

Avoid things or moments that could stir up your feelings for her, like being alone with her especially on romantic places, and like evrybody was saying, pray a lot!!!

wjarmusch · 09-19-2006, 07:01 AM

I think you said it yourself. Try to think of her as a sister.
and as Octavious said, try not to think about it. The more you try to not like her the more you're going to be thinking about her.

bobthecockroach · 09-19-2006, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OctaviusIII

This may sound somewhat counterintuitive, and it may make me sound like an ass (again), but here's my suggestion: stop fighting it head-on. Accept that you feel as you do, but also stop thinking about it, stop mulling over it, stop encouraging it or beating it. Just be friends.

This doesn't happen often... but I totally agree with you.

It is almost impossible to change how you feel by sheer willpower. If you want to change how you feel, change how you act. Act like you're just friends. Don't hang out exclusively with her. In time, your feelings will come around to match your actions.

OctaviusIII · 09-19-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

This doesn't happen often... but I totally agree with you.

It is almost impossible to change how you feel by sheer willpower. If you want to change how you feel, change how you act. Act like you're just friends. Don't hang out exclusively with her. In time, your feelings will come around to match your actions.

Well, it had to happen sometime, right?

To expand a bit - fighting makes things worse, often as strong as the force you fight it with.

heisouronlyhope · 09-19-2006, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shakespeare

How does she feel about you?

She doesn't like me more then a friend..... but I never know she might like me and just doesn't want to tell me like one of ya's said.

xtremes00 · 09-20-2006, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heisouronlyhope

There is this Girl l've like'd her for the last 3 years of my life but I need to stop liking her because its destroying our friend-ship we have....I'd like to like her as a sister because sisters aren't kissable in that way.......but I'm not sure how to do that....And I know God doesn't want me to like her more then a friend now so..... I could use some advice for what I should do.

Sorta same situation with me..

sunsurfer · 09-20-2006, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heisouronlyhope

There is this Girl l've like'd her for the last 3 years of my life but I need to stop liking her because its destroying our friend-ship we have....I'd like to like her as a sister because sisters aren't kissable in that way.......but I'm not sure how to do that....And I know God doesn't want me to like her more then a friend now so..... I could use some advice for what I should do.

Wow Hudson, I'm going through the exact same thing right now. Fortunately I'm a little ahead of you. I'm not sure if it'll work for you, but this is what I had to do...

So I had a crush on this guy i've known my whole life, and I didn't likey like him until the 6th grade. A few months ago I decided to get over him and just be friends for two reasons:

1) He didn't feel the same way. This made me feel like a hopeless loser.

and 2) He will be moving away soon.

It was extremely hard, but I stopped almost completely talking to him for a while (about a month and a half). No e-mails, IMs, no conversations. however, to avoid ruining our friendship, I would still say hi. Just be careful not to get carried away. No conversation. Just hi, how are you, and that's it.

After a while of doing only this, I got less and less interested. Try it.

heisouronlyhope · 09-20-2006, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunsurfer

Wow Hudson, I'm going through the exact same thing right now. Fortunately I'm a little ahead of you. I'm not sure if it'll work for you, but this is what I had to do...

So I had a crush on this guy i've known my whole life, and I didn't likey like him until the 6th grade. A few months ago I decided to get over him and just be friends for two reasons:

1) He didn't feel the same way. This made me feel like a hopeless loser.

and 2) He will be moving away soon.

It was extremely hard, but I stopped almost completely talking to him for a while (about a month and a half). No e-mails, IMs, no conversations. however, to avoid ruining our friendship, I would still say hi. Just be careful not to get carried away. No conversation. Just hi, how are you, and that's it.

After a while of doing only this, I got less and less interested. Try it.

Well.....when your BEST FRIEND is the Brother of the girl you like that is hard.