[Visirale]

So I've been dating my current girlfriend for that past week, but we've known each other for a year or so, and we both really like each other.

All my friends are pressuring me as to why I haven't held her hand yet.

Physical contact is very awkward for me. After a few weeks really being close to someone, it's no problem, but for this first week or so, it's usually very awkward for me and I tend to avoid it.

I think part of it is mentally redefining her from a friend to a girlfriend. It's a little strange, but it's definitely a process, and I'm definitely well on my way.

What's a non-awkward way to initiate a hand-hold? We're going ice skating on saturday, and I figured that would be easy and cute...

Oh, and for the record, she has told other people that she wants to hold my hand, haha, it's just up to me now to make the move...

Petty, I know, but it troubles me.

[Ax]

... grow up, you're in high-school... holding hand's isn't a big deal... the awkward moment is when you kiss her for the first time... that's when your heart will explode in your chest, and you'll pass out the moment your lips touch, only to be revived in a very awkard situation... or at least that's what it feels like.. go ahead, take her hand.. just do it, don't think about it.. just do it...

then the next thing you know some strange band of musicians will follow you around singing "Oh, oh it's magic! You kno-o-ow, never believe it's not sooooooooo" ... lol..

[Inked in Blood]

Originally Posted by AXguitar

... grow up, you're in high-school... holding hand's isn't a big deal... the awkward moment is when you kiss her for the first time... that's when your heart will explode in your chest, and you'll pass out the moment your lips touch, only to be revived in a very awkard situation... or at least that's what it feels like.. go ahead, take her hand.. just do it, don't think about it.. just do it...

then the next thing you know some strange band of musicians will follow you around singing "Oh, oh it's magic! You kno-o-ow, never believe it's not sooooooooo" ... lol..

Actually I think I would advise the opposite.I would say wait until your comfortable with being physical with her to hold her hand and then then when you hold her hand it'll be that much more meaningfull.And Being uncomfortable holding a persons hand has nothing to do with growing up.

[Shredcheddar]

Originally Posted by Visirale

So I've been dating my current girlfriend for that past week, but we've known each other for a year or so, and we both really like each other.

Strangely enough, this sounds a lot like my situation. Dating for two weeks, known each other for four months.

All my friends are pressuring me as to why I haven't held her hand yet.

Physical contact is very awkward for me. After a few weeks really being close to someone, it's no problem, but for this first week or so, it's usually very awkward for me and I tend to avoid it.

I think part of it is mentally redefining her from a friend to a girlfriend. It's a little strange, but it's definitely a process, and I'm definitely well on my way.

I definitely understand your sentiment, although for me and my girlfriend it hasn't really been awkward. The feeling is weird the first time you hold hands or put your arm around her, because that's not what you're used to, but once you both understand that it's a true expression of your feelings, you should become more comfortable with it.

What's a non-awkward way to initiate a hand-hold? We're going ice skating on saturday, and I figured that would be easy and cute...

That's a great way, actually. Nothing wrong with simply going for it, though.

My girlfriend and I discussed this the other day and she said she likes it most when I initiate this kind of thing (hand holding, etc) as opposed to when she initiates it. She keeps telling me "not to be shy" about it, so I try not to.

You can even discuss it if you'd like, and it's a good segway into the conversation about physical boundaries. If you're going to talk about what you can do, you'd better also define what you're not going to do.

Originally Posted by AXguitar

... grow up, you're in high-school... holding hand's isn't a big deal...

Be a little more sensitive than that. It was a big deal the first time I held hands. It's a meaningful expression of how I feel; I'm not simply conforming to some social convention.

the awkward moment is when you kiss her for the first time... that's when your heart will explode in your chest, and you'll pass out the moment your lips touch, only to be revived in a very awkard situation... or at least that's what it feels like.. go ahead, take her hand.. just do it, don't think about it.. just do it...

In my opinion, it's not awkward if the time is right and it's sincere. I suppose it depends on the couple, too.

Also, Ted, it's nice to see that you're not rushing things. There really is no hurry, and it's always a good thing to be cautious with the physical side of a relationship. "Just do it, don't think about it..." sounds real good until you screw up and go a little too far. I'm certainly not proud of the fact, but believe me, I recently found out that the proper mindset is imperative, and if you haven't agreed on specifically what is "too far," you'll probably have a difficult time stopping.

Good luck, sir Ted.

[Ax]

Originally Posted by Shredcheddar

In my opinion, it's not awkward if the time is right and it's sincere. I suppose it depends on the couple, too.

the first time i kissed my girlfriend i almost died from nerves... but it was a good nervousness... i wanted to kiss her soo bad, but was soo nervous i almost didnt', but i just went with the moment, and it turned out to be one of my fondest memories....

Also, Ted, it's nice to see that you're not rushing things. There really is no hurry, and it's always a good thing to be cautious with the physical side of a relationship. "Just do it, don't think about it..." sounds real good until you screw up and go a little too far. I'm certainly not proud of the fact, but believe me, I recently found out that the proper mindset is imperative, and if you haven't agreed on specifically what is "too far," you'll probably have a difficult time stopping.

Good luck, sir Ted.

okay, when i said just go for it, i didn't mean go all the way... i mean, holding hands is fairly trivial... most importantly it's a sign that you are acknowleging her.. if you act to slow she may think that you don't like her...

[SDA_Bluesman62]

Well, if she wants you to hold her hand, and you want to hold her hand, then go ahead and do it, but don't do it b/c your friends are pressuring you or you think you have to. Don't do it until you want to and you are fairly comfortable with it. It will be a very nervous moment, but once you get the first one out of the way, it gets easier.

[Chris]

Originally Posted by SDA_Bluesman62

...once you get the first one out of the way, it gets easier.

and therein lies both the benefit and the danger.

[Inked in Blood]

Originally Posted by Chris

and therein lies both the benefit and the danger.

Tis true.

[Shakespeare]

don't do it b/c your friends are pressuring you or you think you have to. Don't do it until you want to and you are fairly comfortable with it.

Very true, don't do things because someone says you should or pressures you into it, especially physical things. If she wants to hold hands, and you do too, just let it happen as it happens, there's no rush. Especially since physical stuff seems to escallate rapidly once you start it, not that there's anything wrong with holding hands in a dating relationship, but yeah. I understand feeling akward with physical contact... I only like touching people if I'm comfortable with them (course then I'm pretty touchy-feely). Anyways, don't feel you need to rush it or force it to happen I'm sure it will eventually.

[SDA_Bluesman62]

Originally Posted by Chris

and therein lies both the benefit and the danger.

You're absolutely right. I considered not posting that part b/c it can be a bad thing. Before you start any sort of physical relationship you should make sure you know your boundaries and make sure you know that you can stick to them. It's also good to talk about it with your girlfriend/boyfriend and make sure that the both of you are on the same page.

[nix]

Don't rush things, it can ruin things when things are done prematurly. I don't think this is an issue of growing up but rather being wise. Have you two discussed your boundry lines when it comes to the physical side of the relationship yet?

[adamkaboom]

(WARNING: my opinion is on it's way!!!)

Holding hands is a fine line issue for me. Me personally would shy away from holding hands because well, I couldn't because of my "touch boundaries". If you aren't comfortable with it, wait. Even when you are...as Chris said, "and therein lies both the benefit and the danger." Maybe for the sake of defining yourself and boundaries...don't hold hands when it is comfortable. Keep the physical aspect to a minimum, and focus on the "emotional"...(lack of a better word) aspect of your relationship...focus and grow in God with the relationship.

[Pre-Ex-Girlfriend]

Originally Posted by Visirale

What's a non-awkward way to initiate a hand-hold? We're going ice skating on saturday, and I figured that would be easy and cute...

That would be cute.

I think the least awkward way to initiate a hand-hold while ice skating would be to just stick out your hand so that it is really obvious to her that you want her to hold it. Look down at your hand, then look at her and just wait for her to grab it. If she really does want to hold your hand, then she will. If she needs another hint, then look back down at your hand. She should catch on pretty easily, I think. (If she doesn't then there's always Plan B: just grab her hand!)

[Ax]

generally IMO holding hands is more meaningful to the girl, but that doesn't mean it's meanignless to guys, just not as much.. it lets her know that you reall are interested in her.. and don't forget compliments, a must, but don't lay them on too heavy, because then she thinks your pathetic.. women are soo hard to please ... no matter what they tell you, they are very complicated.. just be yourself and i'm sure you'll do fine, i mean you got to the first date right? thats farther than some dudes get...

[Visirale]

I'm just cautious with these things. I've had one relationship, but it was pretty horrible, and I'm trying to repress those memories, so this is almost starting anew.

My best friend, and a good majority of high school students are different daters than I am. They suppliment actually getting to know the person with physical stuff. I know hand-holding isn't a big deal, but it is symbolic, and it is the first step down the path.

I forgot I had posted this thread, and last night we had an amazing conversation about how well we're working out and how great it's going to be.

Like I said, I feel like a dolt for making a post on something so trivial, but... I'm not talking about holding hands, it's just the big jump in the relationship that occurs when it becomes physical. I don't know, I'm trying to convince myself that it's deeper than just holding her hand, hahaha .

Thanks a lot for the advice so far everyone .

-Ted