2 cows

**dogfood** · 09-12-2006, 10:33 PM

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows
and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows.
The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: (i love this one)
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows
But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows
None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.
You claim government subsidies for eight cows.

**Sean.thomson** · 09-12-2006, 10:35 PM

Palivizumab · 09-13-2006, 07:42 PM

Haha I love these...here are more.

Apple
You have two cows. They are beautiful and work perfectly, but no one will buy them, probably because their milk isn't compatible with the majority of cereal. They will buy your chicken, however, which helps your stock.

Chemistry
You have two cows. These cows combust according to the formula H2Cow + O2 Æ CowO2 + H2O + 512KJ. How much heat will be released in the combustion of 3.2¥1023 cows with an excess of hydrogen and oxygen?

First Year U.S. History
George Washington had two cows. What contributions did his two cows make on America today?

Baseball
You have two cows. One more and you're out. To solve this problem, you take steroids. You lie about taking steroids until you retire and write a book. One week before you release your book, you go on 60 Minutes and tearfully confess to using steroids but say that you didn't know what you were using.

Sony
Our console will not only provide two cows, but the cows will include wireless capability and HD technology.

Nintendo
So sure, every console can provide two cows. What we're going to do is revolutionize cows. Nowadays, it's not about how many cows you have, it's about what you can do with these cows.

Battlefield 2

Lt. Stupid : Enemy cows spotted, over.
Sgt. UrDoom : Hey, I need two cows!
Lt. VixeMaria : Let's cow.
MeMeMe : Medic ! Cows ! Medic !
LEEROY JENKINS N00BZ : ur cowz R mine LOLZ!!!1one

Neopets
You have two cows and feel proud. Then you realise no one gives a toss about your cows, so you starve them for years just so you can just get more and more and more neopoints.

RuneScape
You have two cows. You trade them for a paper hat. Four years later, you trade the paper hat for 2,000,000 cows.

WarioWare Touched!
You have two cows. Milk! You violently scribble on the touchscreen to milk them.

THERE ARE TONS AND TONS MORE