ARHHGHHGH!!!!! please help

anonymoussir · 09-04-2006, 11:01 PM

about a month ago my gf and i broke up because i was jealous that she was spending more time than usual with this one guy and she continued spending time with him afterward. Then about 2 weeks later we got back together. I confronted her about the time she spent with the other guy she told me "i did liked him a little but it shouldn't matter because we were apart." Now, she's getting mad that i'm not forgetting about it. Now, we've broken up again.

my question is should it be THAT easy for HER to like another guy after a couple of days of breaking up with me? AND should it be easy for me to forget about this is a short amount of time?

i'm so frustrated

guitarman531 · 09-04-2006, 11:14 PM

I've never dated...and I'm not the best qualified to answer your questions....but one question for you:

What are your guys' ages?

shadow25 · 09-04-2006, 11:17 PM

Yo bro, personally i think that you shouldnt even trip off her liking some other guy. I been with girls that like other guys but i mean thats just it. You know its not like they did anything. I think you should just take it easy and relax. i understand that your mad that they spent alot of time together but i mean you guys did get back together and at the end of the day she was yours. Girls dont like it when you push stupid things like that, i been told its unattractive so just chill.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 09-04-2006, 11:31 PM

It sounds like the two of you might have had different expectations going into the relationship. Like maybe you might have felt a greater commitment to her than she did to you. How long were you two together, and did you talk about how committed you wanted to be to each other when you started dating? If you didn't discuss that kind of thing, then she might have been thinking that her time spent with the other guy was no big deal. And if that's the case, then I can understand why you got jealous and are now so frustrated. I think it's quite normal to be feeling the way you are right now. It might take some time to get over it. Time is an excellent healer.

**H.M. Murdock** · 09-04-2006, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emo_Rachael

It might take some time to get over it. Time is an excellent healer.

Ordinarily I wouldn't disagree with you, Racheaeioueol (I swear, I'll remember how to spell it someday). But this idea pops up too often, and it's a pet peeve.

Time itself is... nothing, really. Time is just a word we use to describe the process of decay. Literally and metaphorically. In order for healing to happen we have to allow time, sure. But what we do with that time is the most important part. If I were to sit on a couch for a year and waited on time to help me get over a relationship, would that work? No. I'd have to work my way through it. Which takes time.
Picky technicality, I know. But I felt like pointing it out.

Pre-Ex-Girlfriend · 09-05-2006, 12:18 AM

No, thank you for doing so!

I was thinking the same thing, actually, but I was reluctant to try to put it into words (especially since my post was already getting kinda long). I agree completely agree with you. In fact, let me retract my statement and instead say, "Time can be an excellent healer." How's that? Because it's very true that if all I do with my time is just sit on the couch feeling jealous and frustrated, all that's going to happen during that time is that I get more jealous and frustrated. However, if I try to work through my jealousy and frustration, then over time I will heal as I think through the situation and as I listen to advice and so forth. Sometimes it's hard to think clearly about a situation so recently after it happens. If we let it, then time can also help us cool down and see things more clearly.

Is that better?

AcMillan22 · 09-09-2006, 05:49 PM

if i were you, i wouldn't be involved with this girl, seems like trouble. she's gonna cause you problems. There's something wrong if she started to like another guy after a couple days of breaking up with you, that ain't right. if i were you i would run. I'm not an expert in dating, nor do i date, but I've seen it happen too many times before. Girls like that want you one minute and dump you leaving your life in a mess, the next. She shouldn't be causing you this much frustration, life is short you gotta enjoy while it lasts. take care

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymoussir

about a month ago my gf and i broke up because i was jealous that she was spending more time than usual with this one guy and she continued spending time with him afterward. Then about 2 weeks later we got back together. I confronted her about the time she spent with the other guy she told me "i did liked him a little but it shouldn't matter because we were apart." Now, she's getting mad that i'm not forgetting about it. Now, we've broken up again.

my question is should it be THAT easy for HER to like another guy after a couple of days of breaking up with me? AND should it be easy for me to forget about this is a short amount of time?

i'm so frustrated

Andrew · 09-15-2006, 07:35 PM

You are dealing with an insane amount of emotions right now. My guess is that you are in between 12 and 14, and if that is the case, you and your girlfriend are both going through some big stages in your life, and learning how to deal with your emotions and to level out. The simple fact is, you are not going to care about this situation at all in three short years. If you are still friends with the girl, you will look back on it and laugh. If not, you will smile at the memories because of how young you were.

I do not say this to deride you for being young. Believe me, I have a share of those stories to my own record. The only advice I can give you is to just take a step back and breath! I would recommend that you put a dating relationship off until your girlfriend decides who she wants to date/have a crush on/whatever. It's never good to try and fight for a girl's heart like that. She will make her own choice, and if she chooses you, hey, you have a good friend. If she chooses the other guy, just remember that you have a lot of years left to live, and that this will be just fine in a couple of months.

I know how it feels though.

OctaviusIII · 09-16-2006, 10:01 PM

It's rather normal for someone to like another person for a short while after breaking up with someone. Rebounding is a fairly natural thing. I know for myself that, just after a break-up or a rejection of some sort, my brain starts searching for someone to attract or to be attracted to so it can fill the emotional gap left by the person's absense. It certainly isn't a good thing, but it's not abnormal, nor is it a sign that she has a promiscuous heart.